Before He Cheats

Chapter 43: The Proposal

I went home straight from Zach's house to house. I don't want staying here in a long time- that's a part of my plan. Balak ko na nga sanang hindi umuwi pa dito - but I've been staying here for a long time. Kunbaga, nakasanayan ko na. I wanted to leave and just stay where my Dad is, my first home. 

The light's out. Wala pa si Miguel. Normal lang naman na nalalate siya- hindi na ako magtataka kung wala pa siya sa oras na ito- total, maagang-maaga pa naman. I went in, kinapa ko pa ang dingding ng bahay dahil baka mauntog ako and lighted the house on. 

Halos muntik na akong mapasigaw when I saw someone standing right in front of me. No, not someone. It's Miguel. Holding a bunch of rose, with a smile on his face. On his right side is the table - our table na bagong palit ng mantel. Nakapatong doon ang limang hindi pa nasisindihan na kandila, some roses on the table and on the floor- na natapakan ko na ang iba. Some dishes unopened. 

"Miguel." mahina kong sabi. "What's this all about?" 

Instead of answering, he widened his smile, walked towards me, held my hands and hugged me tightly. I could feel his aftershave and his heartbeat. Mabilis iyon na tipong kinakabahan. Bago niya hinarap ang kanyang mukha sa akin, ay nagsalita siya. 

"I've been rude, I've been hurting you, I've been a total damn-ass and a jerk, but that doesn't stop the idea na minahal kita at mamahalin kita Gev." - hinarap niya ang kanyang mukha sa akin matapos magsalita. 

I know he's so serious right now that leaves me to the idea to not to talk, to not to interrupt- because I want to hear he's sorry, he's explanations- it's not that I wanted to hear them from him but the reason na gusto kong madinig sa kanya na after many years, minahal niya rin ako. 

"Kasalan ko kung bakit ganyan ka sa akin ngayon, kasalanan ko na kung bakit araw-araw kang umiiyak, and if i could only change the time- I would go back to the day one and change all things. Start a new life from you, and if there's only one thing for me to change- sana ako na lang ang lalaking minahal mo noon- the one who fought with you to my Grand. The one who is married to you .. not lucas." - 

Pero bakit nanlalambot ang puso ko sa kanya ngayon, dahil ba tama si Zach? Na minsan ay minahal at inalalayan ko rin ang lalaking ito, na minsan ay binigay ko rin sa kanya ang lahat? Pag minahal mo ba ang tao, kahit anong kasalanan niya mapapatawad mo siya- kahit sobrang bigat ng kasalanan niya?

But .. hindi ito tama. Kailangan kong hindi lumambot. Kailangan kong maging matigas. Kailangan kong sumunod sa plano ko. I will stick to the plan, stick to the plan. Tama iyon ang gagawin ko. 

I saw him bending his knees, picking up something from his pocket, revealing the ring which clearly means one thing- he wanted us to get married. He is really proposing right now.  And with a soft, weary eyes he speaks: 

"Geneva, I know it is so wrong for me to say, wrong for me to ask- dahil kasal ka pa sa kakambal ko, dahil ang bilis ko ngayon, but hindi ko gustong sayangin ang oras. I could wait until you'll decide in marrying me. I am proposing to you right now- asking you to marry me. " he paused.  "Gev, will you marry me?" 

He popped-up with his question- the most un-awaited one. Pero bago pa ako nagsalita ay saglit akong nag-isip. Kung papakasalan ko siya- I could hurt Lucas, which is really a part of the plan. Papakasalan ko siya tapos lalayasan ko siya. Tama iyon ang plano ko. 

I fake a smile facing him, letting myself pretend to cry- just like in movies and what a woman acts when she's into this kind of position. I let him stood up, inalalayan ko siya. 

"Yes Miguel." I started. "I'll marry you." 

He smiled. A wide smile which says, he's into happiness right now. He hugged me, kissed me on my forehead, thanking me and telling me na hindi ko ikasisisi ito. Hindi naman talaga ako ang magsisisi- kundi ikaw. Not now, but soon Miguel. SOON. 

"Prepare my annulment paper, sa amin ni Lucas. I'll be signing it." - I said. 

Ngiti ang nakita ko sa kanya.