Online Burn Book.

2

-2-

She was a bitch. She whined when she walked, yelled when I talked, and always had it her way. Everyday it was  her path I had to follow. Her rules I couldn't break. And if I did? Then I just got my ticket to a world of pain.

I was in the loop. I was her "friend". More like her bitch.

There comes a point of peak when a person can't take it. When it's not humanly possible to move on until you block out the pain outlet causing all of the fear and paranoia. Little did I know the pain outlet was my fear, and it was my paranoia. And I couldn't ever look it in the eyes and rip it to pieces because my belief that it was bigger and better than me.

You root it to depression. Telling yourself that the pain is all from within and the only person that can stop it is you. Well one part is true. I was the only person that could stop it. You're looking around at all the people judging you for being around her. She was good for you. Right? You second guess yourself because what's left to do other than think everyone else is right. You assure yourself that it's all fine and she was the best friend you'd ever come across.

The ugly snapchats, the mean comments, the countless posts with your face and the word 'love' plastered on them. Was love there? The thought floated above you're head as you questioned the commitment of those around you. Were they actually around you? Or were they drifting carelessly above your head like the words of hatred texted about you onto a public space. Of course, you never saw them floating. Your eyes only saw the things they thought they did. Never looking up, or down, never floating seamlessly around those surrounding you, always in a constant spot, never moving.

You never moved. Thats the catch. She held a treat in front of your  face making you run to try and get it, but there was no way you were moving out of your spot. Each spot was panelled with a plaque, yours was labelled, "Bitch" another time "Lazy" and your personal favourite label was "Fat Cum Slut".  You heard your labels from all the people around you. You never believed them though. You could never believe that she said that. Did she? No. You push the thought from your mind because how could she ever do that to you. She was your best friend. Right? Stop. You can't second guess this. She IS your best friend. Rig- Stop. You know its true. 

- C