[ i haven't seen many sasha x connie fanfictions, while they're actually a really good otp, so i've decided to write one. again, i don't really know when to update my fanfictions since i'm really busy at school and i sometimes can't write for an entire week. sorry, i hope you enjoy the fic
it's modern, alternate universe ]
Many people would be surprised if they knew what I am thinking all the time. It’s the complete opposite of how I represent myself, these thoughts, that I am aware of that they’re wrong and cruel.
But I can’t stop.
It’s Monday morning, 6 am. Although it’s vacation, some days I have to wake up early to feed the animals in the farm, or else my dad won’t pay my phone bills. First the chickens, and then the horses. The ducks can be done in the afternoon.
After I took a shower and dried myself, I’ve decided to wear an old pair of beige jeans and a dark blue hoodie, Since they would become dirty after all.
I walked out of the back door and walked an end to the barn. As a really lazy girl I’ve always hated walking these long distances, especially in the morning.
As I arrived in the barn and grabbed some of the horse food, I’ve noticed that there was a note pasted on wooden wall. I grabbed it and it said:
Don’t forget to clean the horse manure with the shovel next to the door darlin’
- Dad
It’s funny how my dad writes like he talks, my mom hated that because he has a really classy hand writing, and he was probably doing it on purpose too. I miss her.
I grabbed the shovel while I had filled bucket in my left hand, it wasn’t a big deal for me at all, some people ask me how I lift such things without whining. I laugh because it just sounds ridiculous to me.
X
After doing all the stuff I had to do, it was 8:30am already, I went back inside our house, via the back door. I couldn’t hear my dad snoring so I bet he’s gone grocery shopping while I was busy.
Perfect, I can finally do what I have been waiting for, for two days.
I put my boots off and threw them in front of the back door before I closed it, I ran straight through the living room, the kitchen and ran upstairs. When I entered my room, I grabbed my desk chair, set it next to my dark brown wooden closet, I stood on the chair and grabbed the diet pills.
I know it’s bad, I know it’s really bad, but I can’t stop. Dad’s going to come home with breakfast and I can’t make him notice how much I’ve been avoiding food lately, I used to be really addicted to food, it wouldn’t matter because my metabolism was really fast. But when mom died, everything changed.
I opened the bottle and let 2 pills fall on my hand, I put them in my mouth and swallowed them. Both the feeling regret and relief went through me. I’m not proud of this, but it’s the only way I can feel better.
X
‘’SASHA DARLIN I’M HOME, COME HELP ME WITH THEM GROCERIES’’
‘’I’M COMING PA!’’
Yes, I can talk with that accent, but I don’t want people to find out about it, only close friends do and that’s already a pain in the ass.
I went downstairs and grabbed one of his grocery bags and put them on the kitchen counter.
‘’Sasha?’’
‘’yes’’
‘’aren’t you going to hide your favorite food from me?’’
‘’uh, I changed that’’
Fuck, I forgot to act like I still have those habits, what damn excuse can I come up with, dammit
‘’I’m glad you did that, but you lost quite a lot of weight lately, and you know that Brauses never have to be ashamed of them habitos, eat what ur stomach wishes ’’
I didn’t know what to come up with, all I could say was ‘ok’ but I would put myself in a tougher situation if I’d do that. But I had no choice then to pretend I was ok with it and grab a bag of potato chips and lay it next to the grocery bag, to eat it later.
‘ok’
X
I’m alone.
In my room.
With a bag of potato chips.
I opened the bag and made really loud noises with it, so it would sound like a typical ‘Sasha eating like a monster’ noise. After the fake sounds I put the bag of chips in the petite pink garbage can, I put it in the bottom and covered it with other garbage from yesterday. I feel kind of tired after all that pretending, it’s such a pain trying to be yourself while you’re not yourself anymore. I wish I could change this, but I can’t.
Thinking about it, I should probably wear more saggy clothes. That make me look fatter, not too fat, but enough that my dad won’t notice.
My phone vibrated, I stood up from the floor and walked to my desk, my green iPhone laid next to my silver laptop. I noticed have a really messy desk, it’s full with mangas and books I finished while we were on vacation in new Zealand. I fucked up my sleeping cycle with these things, especially with the manga ‘’attack on demons’’ god I can’t wait until this one gets animated.
It is a text from Christa
Petiteblondie: we’re going to the cinema with everyone, Eren will come with his boyfriend, even Jean and Mikasa will be there, can you please join us potato pie
I smiled, Christa is the best friend I’ve ever had. She’s perfect, even though she’s been through so much, she never dropped a single tear and stood on her strong, petite feet.
When she confessed to her parents she was gay and was dating Ymir, her dad went psycho, he’s a pastor and doesn’t want his so called ‘family name’ to rotten. Christa didn’t want to tell other family members about it because she thought it would embarrass her parents. So, she stayed with me for a couple of weeks, I told my dad and he was trying to convince Christa’s dad that it was not a choice and that it isn’t wrong. But her dad hung up and kept ignoring our phone calls. After she stayed with me, she stayed with Ymir for a couple of weeks. Thanks to Ymir, Christa eventually confessed to her aunt and her aunt was really upset that it took so long, now that Christa lives there, she’s happy and away from her problems, last week, all her stuff were brought to her aunt’s house and now she’s officially getting raised by her.
I wish I was as strong and pretty as Christa, she’s perfect. She never loses her temper, even though all guys try to hit on her, she’s always polite and tells them she isn’t interested, sometimes I ask myself is she’s a saint or something, really.
PotatoPasta: yeah sure, when?
Petiteblondie: the movie will play at 10 pm so just come over at 9:30 pm
Petiteblondie: NO WAIT, come at 8 pm, Ymir and I are going to make snacks by ourselves, since you had a job at a cafeteria and a bakery, it would be awesome if you’d help us ( ^ . - )
I’ll go with the ‘I’m not feeling well’ excuse if they ask me to eat one
PotatoPasta: SURE!! Should I come over with my bicycle or my dad’s car?
Petiteblondie: BICYCLE, Ymir already lend her brother’s car…without asking, lol
PotatoPasta: okay sweety, see you at 8, bye
Damn it, I hope Connie won’t be there, I always forget that I’m shoving food in my mouth when I’m with him, he’s the best guy I’ve ever met, but he has this thing where I’m myself, at the fullest, even in this miserable situation.
YOU ARE READING
