On My Own (A Shoey Fanfic)

Relief

Joey's POV~

I couldn't stop smiling. Shane had said exactly what I needed him to. And when he's kissed me, my life had just started all over again. All those terrible events that had happened in the past... they didn't matter anymore. Things were finally starting to turn around.

I felt really stupid for trying to kill myself. Really stupid. I'd overreacted, and maybe if I had just talked to Shane, none of this would've had to happen. Regardless of what I should have done, it was over now. He had kissed me! That must mean something!

I was still a little woozy from the drugs, but I was feeling a lot calmer now. I touched my fingers to my wrist with a frown, recalling the sensation of the cool blade slicing through my skin. I bit my lip at the memory; the pain still felt so real.

I felt a dull ache in my side where I'd cut into myself. The anger and depression I had felt at the time almost completely eclipsed the pain from the wound. Back then, nothing had mattered. Now, I had realized that things could change.

I smiled as Shane and Sawyer walked back in. Shane still looked a bit embarrassed (I mean, who wouldn't be? He'd just poured out his heart without knowing that I could hear every word) but Sawyer's face showed tons of emotions.

"Oh my f***ing god."

He crossed the room in two bounds, wrapping his arms around me in an enormous hug. I laughed and cringed a bit as pain shot up my side. "Sawyer..." I gently said, hugging him back. "Could you... let me go?"

"Sorry, sorry," he released me. "It was just... I thought you were dead." Sawyer looked really messed up. His hair was in disarray and he had dark bags under his eyes. I wasn't exactly sure, but I thought I saw tear stains on his cheeks.

Shane walked up on the other side of the bed and placed his hand on my knee. "Me too."

"Guys, I'm really sorry," I gave a little smile, feeling almost embarrassed now. "I shouldn't have done it... I mean, of course my life has meaning. I've got the two of you for friends."

They both smiled and Sawyer ran a hand through his hair. "I got back from Luke's and the door was unlocked," he told us. "There was blood everywhere. I had no clue what had happened. I think that's the worst thing I've ever had to go through."

"Thank goodness you found me when you did," I looked back over at Shane. He smiled and looked down a bit. "If you'd taken any longer..." I trailed off, not wanting to say what we all knew.

Sawyer shook his head. "Bro, when I went to Luke's, you promised you wouldn't do anything stupid."

"I'm sorry," I repeated, smiling sheepishly. "I wasn't really thinking... but I promise it won't ever happen again." I reached one hand over and placed it on top of Shane's, meeting his gaze with a smile.

Shane's eyes widened a bit and he bit his lip, sliding his fingers out from under mine and glancing briefly at Sawyer.

"Um, Sawyer, could you get me some water?" I asked, trying to think of some reason for him to leave Shane and me alone again. "I'm feeling a bit parched."

"Sure," he raised his eyebrows and smiled. "I'll be right back."

As he closed the door behind him, I looked back to Shane. "Was it too soon?" I asked.

He looked confused for a moment then shook his head. "No, not at all. I mean, I, uh... you can hold my hand if you want, or whatever, I mean... are we ready to tell Sawyer we're a couple?"

"Yeah," I raised one eyebrow. "Why wouldn't we be?"

Shane shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "I dunno... there's just something I don't trust about him."

"Come on, Shane, he's your friend. I live with him, for crying out loud! I think he deserves to know that "we" might be a thing now." I smiled and took Shane's hand again. "I really do like you. And everything in that note was true. But I trust Sawyer."

Shane exhaled and smiled, cupping my face with one hand. "Ok, if you feel that strongly about it, we can tell him."

I grinned. "Thank you."

Shane flashed his teeth and tussled my hair affectionately, leaning down and kissing my forehead for good measure.

Sawyer chose that exact moment to walk back in. He figured out what was going on pretty quick. The cup of water he had been holding in his hand slipped from his grasp and landed on the ground, spilling. His jaw just kind of dropped open and he stood there, staring. "Uh... I could come back later, if you want..." He slowly said after he'd regained his senses.

I chuckled. "It's ok, Sawyer, you can come in."

He blushed a bit and walked towards the bed. "Sorry, sorry it was just kind of a shock. I mean... you two? Really?"

I nodded. "You were right all along. Sorry I was such a jerk to you about the whole thing over these past few weeks, but I just wasn't really myself."

"Don't worry about it," he smiled a bit. "I'm happy for you guys. You make a great couple."

I turned my head and exhaled, gazing at Shane. "Don't we just?"

"Anyway, congratulations," he patted my shoulder. "Do you still want that water, or..."

"I think I'll be fine," I laughed a bit. "But thanks for asking."

A nurse poked her head in and looked surprised. "What are you all doing here? This patient is supposed to be resting! Visiting hours don't start until 10:30 am!"

Shane flinched a bit. "Yyyyyeah," he slowly said, glancing from the nurse back down to me. "So... I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

I smiled. "Of course."

They both hugged me in turn before they left (carefully, so as not to hurt my side) and waved goodbye. As Shane wrapped his arms around me, he whispered in my ear, "I'll call everyone and let them know you're ok. If you're lucky, you'll have a few more visitors in the morning."

I smiled, leaning back. "Thanks," I breathed, stroking his cheek with my fingers. "I'll miss you."

"And I will miss you," he grinned. The nurse cleared her throat and he backed off, squeezing my hand one last time as he headed for the door.

As he and Sawyer walked out, I heard Sawyer question Shane. "Weren't you supposed to be moving tomorrow?"

~~~