On My Own (A Shoey Fanfic)

On My Own

Joey's POV~

The next several days I spent in a pit of depression. Sawyer had found me passed out on the side of the road in the rain and brought me back to the apartment (he said I'd thank him for it later) and helped me get warmed up again. Regardless, I'd barely spoken a word since I'd kissed Shane.

The days all kind of blended together. I not moving from the couch, barely moving, for hours at a time. I had nothing better to do with my life. My motto had always been "chase your dreams." My dream was dead. What was I supposed to do now?

I spent the days in a blind trance, remaining within my shell. Sawyer was trying his best to cheer me up, but nothing he was doing made any difference. "Hey, wanna get some ice cream?" he suggested, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and shaking me back and forth.

I shook my head. "No, I... just no."

Sawyer sighed, shaking his head. "Joey, you've got to snap out of it. This isn't healthy. I'm afraid that if I leave you alone, you'll do something stupid."

"I won't," I sourly muttered. "I'm not that dumb."

"I just wish you would tell me what's wrong!" He was getting frustrated at this point; I had remained silent about what had happened with Shane and didn't plan on telling him any time soon.

"I told you, it's none of your concern," I pulled my knees up onto the couch and hugged them to my chest, avoiding eye contact as I felt tears threaten to appear yet again. Even just thinking about Shane made me hate myself all over again.

"I just want the old Joey back," Sawyer squeezed my shoulder, exhaling and shaking his head.

"What do you mean, old Joey?" I gave him a dubious look, pouting out my lip a bit. "I'm still the same person I was before. I just screwed up my life, ok?"

"Old Joey would never sulk on the couch for a week," Sawyer muttered, standing up and walking away. I was tempted to say something back, but he wasn't worth it. He raised his voice and addressed me again, "Meghan called last night. She said you've been ignoring her for basically the past week. She sounded pretty shaken up about the whole thing. She wanted you to call her back."

"Well, I have no interest in calling her," I truthfully answered, focusing my eyes on my lap and fiddling with my hands. I knew deep down she had a crush on me, and I just couldn't face to hear it. I already had more than enough going on in my life.

"She's one of your best friends," Sawyers eyes widened. I shot him a look and he shrugged. "Fine, suit yourself."

We returned to the awkward silence that usually filled our apartment. I lay down limply on the couch, covering myself with a blanket and breathing out loudly.

Sawyer looked up from his laptop and tried to start a conversation again. "Luke invited us over to his place tonight. He's getting a bunch of people together, and he says that we need to be there." He laughed. "What do you think?"

"I think," I paused, "You should go."

Sawyer's jaw dropped. "Come on, Joey, you can't spend the rest of your life on this couch!"

'I can try,' I silently shot back.

Sawyer went on, "It'll be good to get out of the house for a change."

"You know what," I turned towards him, trying to speak without sarcasm. "Go and party and all that stuff. Just leave me here."

"You serious?" he asked, clearly not believing me.