ʟᴀ ᴛʀɪᴩ // 𝐠𝐧𝐫

19 - A Walk Through LA Streets

"So, what's your name, Duff?" I ask with a challenging voice.
It's something that it always wake up my curiosity, is the name behind the nickname.

Every nickname has a story behind it, and I think it's really interesting and it's a really good way to get to know the person better.

Duff and I were still at our date, sat down on the picnic towel, drinking some wine.

I'm having the best time I could ever have.

You know something I noticed on Duff that impressed me the most? Something I never though I would find in a person like him.
He's not like the other guys I've met before.

I use to compare guys to cats. A cat goes to your side, gives you attention, then you give him food, he disappears and doesn't give a damn about you again.

A guy is just like that. He gives you attention, you give what he wants, and then bye bye.

I'm usually the cat too.

But Duff, he's not a cat.

And I know when I see a cat. Slash, is a cat. Axl is a cat who's turning into a dog.

Not saying Slash can't be a dog too.

Do you mean when I say he's a dog?

Like, when you have a dog, he's always there to give you love and wants you to give him love. And you know, no matter what he will be there.

Do you get me?

"Michael." He answers me after taking a spin from his wine.
I never thought he would tell me so easily.

"I like it." I smirk.

"You do?" He asks surprised.

"Yeah." I nod taking the last spin of my class of wine. "I do, Michael." I smirk.

"Did you liked it, the 'date'?" He asks.

"Yeah, it was good." I nod with a small smile.

***

Five days has passed after the 'date'. Duff and I haven't exchanged words after that night.

I could say I didn't care, I could say it didn't bother me, but I would be lying. I do care, and it does bother me.

And it's pissing me off.

Why do I care? Why does it bother me so much his leak of attention?

I feel needy and I hate that feeling.

Because this needy isn't like the one you feel when you're turned on and want someone to pleasure you.

I'm needy for affection. His voice entering in my ears like melody, his soft touch against my skin and his lips on mine.

I'm craving it so much.

What's this?

No Elizabeth, you're not in love. You don't believe in such thing. If you don't believe, you can't feel it. What you're feeling is not love.
Five days. Ten days since I arrived. Twenty untill I leave.

What will happen? I'll leave and Duff won't be there for me.

Maybe that's what I need. Be far away from him so I don't get used to him and it won't hurt when I leave.

Now I understand Ricardo Reis poetry. He used to say in his poems that we can't feel strong emotions like love and hate.

If you love someone, you'll get hurt in the future because that person will be gone eventually. And once they are gone, you will feel pain. Life is meant to be lived with joy, not pain.