20/09/2013 8:50Am
This world is far from perfect I knew that it would never be what I thought it to be but there's nothing you or I can do about it... But to see your own Mother break down and give up hurts me, to see her crying tears because of her own mother loosing all respect for her...Why? Because the older you get the more you understand this place we call home, but in my Family the older you get the more you hate everyone and everything around you, my mom got little sleep because of the fact she's in a Failing Relationship and her own Mother doesn't even care for her ... How does that make me feel? As a kid I knew the one person on this planet to protect me is my mother... But as I get older I see the weakness taking over the Family, I see people trying to give up... I see this word slowly falling apart if I could change one thing I don't think I could change a thing because the fact that there may be one thing one person can change, but behind that there's another 50,000 things wrong with this home of our's why must we fight.... why must we kill each other? For Oil? For our God, for territory, or just because our country was disrespected, I try my best to look after my Family... Instead of my mother being there for me I need to be there for her, I need to try my best with my older sisters help to keep her from giving up on life ... I know she's weak enough to because I've tried AND my sister tried ... Not something I want to bring up ... You know, I changed my mind, if I could have ONE thing It wouldn't be world peace, or no more killing for awhile because that's never going to happen.. let's start with my Family getting along and being happy... You know what? F*ck that, not my entire Family, only my Mom, Brothers, Sisters, and the other members who haven't turned on us, every day I see the weak in these people I see the people in my house breaking down a little more and more, I go outside I can see the Tear past that fake smile people put on their face...I see the hate they have I see the sadness they have It all gets to me after awhile that's why I do this writing to let go and express myself... They say don't "Ask for votes " or "Ask for attention" But if the happy people left on this earth can read the world of a Teenager lost in this world It'd change my looks little by little, if people could only see what they missed they might think differently about us ... One of the saddest things I've seen walking around is the Hate in this youth, because some of us have our pants low, because some of us drink, some of us shoot and kill each other some of us just give up on life and take a razor to our arm and watch as we bleed giving up on it all.... It's not because Where just "Stupid" have you ever thought maybe where lost...? some of us don't have a father, some don't have a mother... My own Father told me this, "Our youth is weak" When we don't have a father we act like our life is over... we act like life isn't worth a thing, well some of us, the others... They are strong enough to see it's not our fault... Another thing my father told me was "For all these kids that want to take their own life, let them, if they feel they aren't strong enough to live on well maybe they SHOULD kill themselves and stop wasting our time" He was blind to know I'm suicidal, blind as always, he wasn't there for me as A kid and it changed EVERYTHING if he WAS there for me as a kid my life wouldn't be the way it is... I may NOT even be sitting here talking to you....But Honestly I'm glad he wasn't their for me, it made me stronger as a Teenager... I can see him now but a sad thing is I choose not to... I choose not to see the man who brought me into this world, I love him to death but deep inside I still have the HATE for him I had as A kid He can't change anything, he can't give back the time he didn't have for me they say the most important thing a Boy needs is a father, but what you see now, as you read these words is a writer without one as a kid, without one it changed my life ... But honesty.. for the better, so if your a person without a father or a mother don't think about it, thinking about the depression won't help in any way it'll bring you deeper in the darkness... Don't give up there's TOO much you'll miss if you do ... Just remember your NEVER alone in this world ... That's all for now.-A.B.
