On an average day, I would be able to walk in front of a huge crowd not feeling nervous at all. Give a huge speech, make people laugh, have it all be a great time. Today, is not an average day. Here I am in front of two people, not being able to say a word.
"I won't ask you again Justin, what is she doing here?" The words were full of anger, hate almost.
"I shouldn't of come." Selena's voice was shaky. I knew that quiver all too well, it happened every time we fought and she was about to cry. I saw the tears forming, but I knew she wouldn't let them go. "I'm sorry I'll go."
"Mom." I was finally able to choke out. I grabbed Selena's arm to stop her from walking away. I wasn't about to let her walk out alone.
"Why'd you bring her here Justin? You know what she did to you. How dare you even set foot in my house." The woman who raised me, yelled at the woman I loved. This conflict would be the death of me.
"We'll go. I'm sorry." I shook my head.
"Jc, you stay. I'll go, you're not the one she has a problem with. Spend some time with your mom." Selena pat my hand. I couldn't just let her walk out, could I? Apparently I didn't have a choice; before I could move to say anything she was closing the door behind her, bag in hand.
"How could you?" My head was still shaking. I couldn't believe any of this.
"How could I? How could you bring her here? You let her tear you apart while I have to sit back and watch everything you worked for go down the drain." My own mother was chastising me.
"I love her." I almost yelled. "She has been there for me on my worst days. She has built me up when I've torn myself down. Most importantly she's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. Doesn't that mean anything?"
"You want to spend the rest of the life with her? Really Jc? Things may be good now, but it's only a matter of time before she hurts you again. I'm just trying to protect you."
"Protect me from what? There's nothing to protect me from!"
"I don't want what happened to me to happen to you."
"Are you talking about you and my dad getting divorced? You're serious right now? I'm not you. I'm not him. I love her."
"And he loved me and I loved him, Jc love is never enough. I have nothing but good intentions for you, please just listen to me and do not make this mistake."
"You know what, I shouldn't of come home. I thought this was a good idea, but it wasn't. I'm sorry. Tell the kids I love them."
And just like that, I was walking out of the house I grew up in, bags in hand. Again. Only this time, I found my girlfriend sitting on the corner in tears. This time I was on the verge of tears myself. Most importantly, this time I knew I probably wouldn't walk through those doors again today.
"Baby I'm sorry. Let's go." I tried to soothe my crying princess.
"I knew this was going to happen." She managed to say between tears.
"Come on baby." I picked up her bag. "Let's not waste the time we have back home."
"Where are we going to stay? We didn't plan for this."
"We'll get a hotel, no big deal. We can stay downtown, be tourists for a few days."
"Are you sure?"
"You're worried about the money aren't you?"
"It's not cheap staying downtown, or doing tourist things."
"You are worth every penny I will spend on you for the rest of my life."
"The rest of your life huh?"
"If I'm lucky."
"I don't think your mom would be too happy about that. You know, the whole spending forever with me."
"I don't care."
"That's your mother."
"And you're my forever. She raised me go after what I wanted, and I want you."
"Am I enough?"
"More than enough. You are the love of my life, the woman I want to spend the rest of my days with and have dogs with."
"And kids?"
"And kids, and stupid fights, and movie nights. Everything, I want everything with you."
"Forever?"
"Forever."
*****************************************
On an average day, I'd be able to check into a hotel room, turn the tv on, and plop down for a nap.
But today is not an average day.
Today I had a fight with my mother.
Today I told the girl I love that I want to be with her forever.
Today I am staying in a hotel on the river walk with that girl.
Today I will be strong.
Today I will be the man I know I need to be.
"What are you thinking about?" Selena plopped down on the bed next to me.
"You." I teased.
"Me?" Her left eyebrow raised, the same way it did every time she thought I was lying.
"You." I repeated.
"Justin."
"Selena."
"I'm madly in love with you."
"As am I."
"But, every now and then you make me want to jump off a cliff."
"Likewise baby girl, but you love me therefor you are stuck and the only way you are escaping is if you really do jump."
"Which you know I won't."
"Because you're afraid of heights."
"Fair enough."
"Come on." I stood up, pulling her up with me. "I want to show you something."
"Where are we going?"
"Out on the river."
"Jc I lived here for years, I've seen every inch of the river walk that it has to offer."
"Then I'll show you this, again."
She gave no fight this time, reluctantly following me out of the room, out of the hotel, and along the river banks. I dragged her behind me for a few minutes, my heart racing. People passing us on the sidewalk barely phased me, I could only sense they were there, but she was the only one I was concerned with.
Under a cypress tree, a landing jut out into the river, further out than your normal walking space. The old tree, huge with age. Everything about this spot screamed beauty.
"Marriage island?" Selena questioned me.
I led her to the middle of it. The paved path where thousands of people had said "I do" was clear for once, I wasn't about to let this opportunity go.
"Selena." As I'm sure you could guess, I kneeled down on one knee. Slightly wobbly at first, but once I got my grounding I reached for her small hands. The same hands that did everything for me, the same hands that made me sandwiches, or rubbed out a tense shoulder. The same hands that held mine. "Selena, I know we've been through hell, I know I've put you through hell, and I know I do not deserve you. But when I look at you, I see everything I could ever want in a person. I do not thank you enough for what you do for me. You make me a better man, you make me laugh when I want to cry, you make push myself to be successful, and you make me love you more and more every day. I want this forever, I want you forever, I want to wake up in the middle of the night and have you next to me. How you could love a fool like myself is beyond me, but I'm glad you do. I know I do not have much to offer, but if you're willing, I'd like to at least give you my last name. What I'm trying to get at here is this. Selena, will you marry me?"
"Justin...."
