My Own Worst Enemy

chapter ten

Vanessa's point of view

"Puppy! Puppy! Puppy!" The kids chanted and I bit on my bottom lip, a bit irritated.

"I've had a bad day guys, can you please be a little bit quieter?" I asked and they did quiet down, barely. "Oh ny fucking god." I whispered and I really didn't want to yell at them.

"Kids, seriously. If you're quiet, when we get home, I'll buy pizza." Calum said, picking up on my mood. I took a deep breath and he held my hand, our elbows rested on the center console.

Calum turned the radio up and I pulled up into a nearby animal shelter. "I'll be in there, give me five minutes." I said and Calum looked at me worriedly.

"Are you-"

"Fine." I said and gave him a fake smile. He nodded and then took the kids inside of the building.

I turned the car off and closed my eyes, leaning back in the chair as I rubbed my temples. I ached for a cigarette, like before when I was always stressed and upset, but I couldn't do that. I have kids now, a reputation to hold, a fiancé that would kick my ass for smoking aswell.

I couldn't, but I wanted to so badly.

"Fuck it." I said and opened the glove department. I took the pack of Malboros out and then the matches.

I stepped out of the car and looked around for anyone with a camera. No one was paying attention so I quickly lit it and then walked away from the shelter.

I hid behind my bangs and pressed my back against a wall as I placed the cigarette between my lips. I closed my eyes as I took as deep breath of it and then released the hot, chokingly strong smoke.

I looked around once more, a bit paranoid that someone will know it's me and end up spreading it out. I didn't need this when my album was coming out next week and we had a special guest appearances at an IHeartRadio awards show, which was mostly full of impressionable teens.

I shook my head and then pushed my hair out of my face as I relax the slightest bit. I was being too paranoid. No one was going to find out, I had to let loose a bit.

After I smoked about half of it, I smashed the tip against the wall. I flicked it into a nearby garbage can and then went to the car. I grabbed a mint and sprayed some perfume on myself to mask the smell of cigarettes.

I locked the car and then walked into the animal shelter, watching the kids play with dogs while Calum talked to a worker. "He's adorable." I said and the kids looked at me as they played with a Golden Retriever.

"Can we get him?" Eli asked as he giggled. "He was dropped off because his mama couldn't watch him."

"Was he?" I asked and the worker nodded. He told me the family came in with a bunch of puppies because they couldn't keep them all, and he was the last of the bunch.

"Can we get him mama please?" Dakota asked as she tugged in my shirt and I looked at Calum, who just gave me a pout.

I got down on one knee and then whistled. "Come here boy." I said and he ran over to me. "Good boy." I said and scratched behind his ear softly.

I smiled and his tail wagged quickly as he nuzzled his face into my hand. "You're not a shy one are you?" I asked and chuckled. "He's perfect."

"Is he all caught up on his shots?" Calum asked and the worker nodded. "Babe." He said and I stood up.

I walked over to him and he asked if I wanted the dog. "Sure, the kids love him." I said and he nodded and hen looked behind me.

"Shit, okay, sign the papers please babe. Dakota, don't pull his tail!" Calum said and ran over there.