Saving Sawyer [Boy/Boy] - 2013

Chapter 3: Insight

Saving Sawyer: Chapter 3: Insight

Sawyer's POV

               I sat in the car while my aunt closed up the shop early. I faintly heard her offer Cade a ride home but he declined. I wish he would've taken her up on it. His parents were always protective, I'm sure they didn't like him walking around alone at night. It was weird seeing him again and seeing the kind of man he's grown up into. He progressed while I was forced to keep the mindset of a child. I wanted to be friends with him again but there was no way he was going to accept me after everything I've been through. I was damaged goods while he was going to make someone very happy one day. 

I watched him walk down the street as my aunt got in the driver's seat. She had tried so hard to push us back together but I crushed her every attempt. Sitting next to him earlier and sharing a sandwich with him was the closest I've been to someone else in a while and while the feeling was foreign, it felt good. "I'm sorry Aunt Vivian." 

"I don't want to talk about it right now Sawyer." She started the car. I could see the tension in her shoulders as she drove and I would give almost anything to redo today. Ever since Cade's whore of a friend touched me this morning, I've been having vivid flashbacks and those alone were putting me in a right foul mood. When I smart mouthed that woman, I didn't mean to hurt Vivian or Cade or even her...she was just someone to take my anger out on. An innocent bystander that got caught in the cross fire... 

"Please Vivian, please don't be mad at me." I begged, hating the disdain that was creeping into her features. 

She pulled the car over and put it in park. She sighed, "Sawyer, I'm not mad at you. I know you've been through a lot but you can't take it out on other people. If you're feeling angry talk to me, talk to your uncle, talk to Cade, talk to somebody." There was no way I was going to talk to Cade about anything. He had a home, loving parents and friends...he wouldn't understand me.  

               My aunt followed me down the hall of her house and right into my room, my uncle right behind her. "Sawyer, what was going through your head?" I didn't want to be questioned. I wanted to be left the hell alone. 

Vivian grabbed my hand, "Sawyer, sweetheart?" 

"Don't fucking touch me!" I screamed before I could stop myself. I knew it was my aunt that had grabbed me but that didn't stop the flashback from filling my eyes. I wanted to curl up on my bed and hide under the covers even though I knew that wouldn't really help. I struck out blindly, trying to push their hands away. There were so many hands reaching for me at once and I knew I could never fight against them. They were stronger than me...they would always be stronger than me. 

               "Get your ass over here, you little brat." My mom grabbed my arm and pulled me into the living room, there were people everywhere. The air was stifled with smoke and alcohol. I had hid in my room but was found once everyone arrived. Even at fifteen I was terrified of the world around me, mirroring nothing more than a small child. I began shaking as people stepped closer. One man in particular caught my eye but thankfully he remained on the couch, not even bothering to look in my direction. 

I tried to back up but my mom's nails digging into my arm stopped me. "Leave me alone." I whimpered, my voice not even loud enough for me to hear it. 

"He hasn't been played with in a while so he should be some fun." My mom snickered as she jerked me toward the group, the motion forcing me to stumble. I fell on the ground, the people around me gazing down like I was some kind of animal at an exhibit. I tried to shy away from their stares but it wasn't easy to do when I had nowhere else to go.