A Feeling of a Strong Affection

Chapter Five: Materiality

Mark and I leveled up from being close friends to dating. I appreciate his efforts through me. Mark has never failed me to laugh every single day. I consider him as a great man whove never hurt a girls heart.

Three months have passed. Karl and his formal girlfriend are now announced in public, here in school. It was Darlene Tesco, the girl who portray as Juliet in Valentines Day special event. I congratulated him getting a wonderful girl.

Seeing them two cuddling one another feels like riding a rollercoaster with mix emotions. Happiness and pain. Im happy for Karl because he finally found the girl he like and Im sad cause Im somewhat jealous.

My eyes is getting watery, grasping the pain hidden in my heart and forcing myself to smile and pretend Ive already let him go. Out of the blue, someone covered my eyes coming from my back. The big hands that resembles Karls.

Mark! I shouted the name very much.

Dont look. Youll just get hurt. Remember, Im always here for you no matter what happen. I love you Jeanine. He kissed my head and caressed my hair.

I love you too, Mark. And kissed his lips.

When will you be mine? He asked me softly through my ear.

When snow started to fall. Messing him around and teasing him.

Thats impossible! He laughed and cuddled me.

I believe everything is possible. I stared at his charming eyes and we slowly kissed each other in the lips passionately.

I cant determine what I really feel for Mark. Its been two months since he courted me. Were now dating and still cant decide whether its a yes or a no. I love him now but, its complicated to understand why.

My feelings for Karl is still legit. His irresistible face makes my heart fall over and over again. I cant move on unless I can never see his existence, ever again.

Those two best friends still wont forgive each other. It started when Mark said Karl broke my heart and didnt even gave me a chance to love me. Its all my fault. Guilt-ridden smashed my heart and wished myself that I didnt existed.

I feel like dying as if I am a living-dead corpse. It aches my heart a lot. If only I could rewind my past to correct my awful mistakes. If only this was just a dream.

I woke up in the middle of the night at my study table, inside my room. It was the craziest dream Ive ever visualized. Its about me, and about love with a serious complex. How ridiculous.

I noticed I left my window open, thats why I woke up in chills. I saw outside, through my window, snowing profoundly. No doubts, its really raining snow! It was so magical and lovely. Those little white snowflakes was really a great wonder. Snowing in a tropical country seems odd and this is the first time it happened in my entire life!

After closing it, the book that I was sleeping on caught my attention. I read it and it says,

Love has countless sense of confidence and unenthusiastic things. Attractions, kindness, desires, foolishness, anger, stupidity, anxieties, jealousy and sacrifices. Love is basically a strange sensation. Without these, it isnt love.

And that was the night I learned what a feeling of a strong affection could possibly be.