Letter Sixteen

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Alexis Poniewierski

8:17 PM

5/19/2016

My. Mother. Does. NOT. Understand!

I called her today, on the phone. Because I felt like a failure.

Today, my boyfriend and I got back together after talking a lot about things.

I went home, started to relax. I'm alone with my goddamn thoughts and I told her, "I love you, Mom. I'm sorry I'm such a failure."

What does she do? Blame my boyfriend. Basically tells me I don't struggle with depression. You know what? FUCK HER. She doesn't have depression or anxiety, she doesn't know what the hell it's like to struggle with this crap!

She doesn't know what it's like to be alone with your thoughts for hours when they're feeding you shit.

I ACT HAPPY. Sometimes, I AM happy. But the one moment out of the past few days that I am down and out and fucking depressed and feel like shit and a failure; I don't have depression. I am SO DONE.

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