Harry
As soon as Liam rushed out the door behind Liv and Lexie, I knew I had to get away. I couldn't be around everyone. I was too worked up to pass it off as normal concern for a friend. While everyone was gathered just outside the kitchen I pushed past them until I reached a spot beside the house where nobody could see me. I tried everything to calm my racing mind. I was practically wearing a path in the grass as I paced back and forth. But nothing was working. Not until I got a glimpse of the sun glinting off the glass bottles sitting on a table in the garage. I don't think twice before walking quickly across the yard, grabbing a bottle of whiskey and starting my way walking down the road.
Lexie's parents live in a subdivision but once I walk past all the houses I'm able to turn onto onto a road that's dotted with houses but they're spaced further apart. There's no side walk so I take care to stay as close to the shoulder as I can. A few cars pass by but nobody stops. I guess it's a good thing nobody finds the sight of a guy in black skinny jeans carrying a bottle of liquor walking on the side of the road in 90 degree heat alarming enough to stop. I really don't even know where I'm going but I keep walking as if I do. I suppose I could go to the hospital. I'm sure it's not too far from here. I could easy use the GPS on my phone to find it. But at this point I know seeing my face is the last thing Liv would want. I'm so incredibly pissed at myself for coming clean like that. It was sloppy. I don't blame her for not believing me. I just couldn't help myself. I'd been watching her all week. I was trying to gauge just how pissed she was at me. It was clear that she was still pretty angry. She would barely look at me. She wouldn't talk to me unless I directly addressed her. And even then she kept the exchange as short possible so she could get away from me. I hated knowing that she no longer saw me as the man I am, but instead the asshole I pretended to be. But the more I watched her, the more I realized she wasn't pissed. At least not completely. She was hurt. It didn't make sense to me. Why did me telling her I didn't love her hurt her so much? She chose Liam. She didn't want me. Or at least she said she didn't want me. Was she lying too? And if she was lying, was she just lying to me or was she lying to herself too? Even though seeing her hurting was the last thing I wanted, it gave me a glimmer of hope. Maybe I still had a chance.
I had my plan for winning her over all set but I had been planning to wait until her birthday. I figured that would give her enough time to let go of some of her anger but not enough time that she would start to get over me. But for some reason today I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. I was standing in the yard, listening to Louis tell us about the last ultra sound he went to when I caught a glimpse of Liv standing in the kitchen laughing and talking with Lexie and her mom. I could just barely hear her but it was enough that I immediately felt my feet taking me towards the house.
I could tell Lexie didn't want to leave us alone. I'm pretty sure she hates me more than Liv does now. I could tell instantly when she told her what I did. There's practically been an arctic freeze coming from her since the show in Chicago. When she didn't jump on my offer to go to a Packer's game this season, it was obvious she knew. But as much as she hates me, she still doesn't have an acceptable excuse to give her mom that'll keep her in the kitchen.
As soon as we were alone, I knew Liv was nervous. I could practically see her shrinking away from me as we stood at the counter. I didn't even plan to ask her why she hated me. I didn't want her to know just how much of a pussy I've become. Constantly worrying about what she thinks about me, when she'll talk to me. It's pathetic. But it just came out. I've never been the guy to just blurt anything. But she makes me so unsure of myself. She answered me, but barely. I wanted to keep the conversation going so I just kept talking. I didn't realize telling her she looked nice today would set her off like it did. Hearing her say that I was getting her hopes up was what tipped the scale for me. I couldn't lie to her anymore. I couldn't stand there and hear her tell me I didn't feel anything for her. I could tell she didn't want to believe me but I kept pushing. And when she started to cry I couldn't help but take her in my arms. I could feel her starting to believe me. She was starting to admit to herself that we could maybe have a chance. But just as quickly, she pulled away. I don't know if it was pride or fear stopping her but she had her mind made up. She wasn't letting herself fall for me anymore. I would have kept pushing, trying to break down her walls but that's when she cut herself.
