maybe this time , I won,t hate you....

Chapter 12 I can,t let you go

I walked the streets aimlessly, i didn,t know where i was but, all i knew i was tired so, i walked to the park nearby that caught my eye ''huh? this hurts so, much....'' i said rubbing my chest, crying even more than before. ''Ji-heon,ji-heon'' i said repeating his name over and over again.How could he do this to me? How could he just leave me and agree to marry wenie chou...... Too much love could kill you they say, so, i didn,t hesitate to go out hiking, just to forget about all my problems (love problems)in the world, i left my phone so, that i won,t be interupted by any calls especially

JI-HEONS CALLS..... Early morning i left, all though i sent ji-heon a text saying;

oppa, i just wanted to say goodbye and congratulations....i hope you live a happy,prosperous long life, i wish to see you again in the future with little ji-heon babies :) I won,t forget you and i know you won,t forget me too .....oppa, actually no ''ji-heon'' stay healthy, eat well and work hard. Maybe we might see each other again but, right now i guess we,ll be  apart....please don,t let yourself go because of me oppa,saranghaeyo,oppa!!! I love you!!! Take care your one and only:

Jane xoxoxo....:)

i cried while writing it i don,t mean what i said in this letter only some of it...... I packed my stuff, and took a last look at my apartment and left...... The wilderness just what i need to forget, ''mam. where are you going?'' he said in english, broken english may i add....'' huh, mount gi-hii sir.'' i said looking at me and ji-heons picture which i ripped to pieces they say''leave the past to move on'' and ji-heon is my past and i will move on. Walking aimlessly on the streets makes me wonder what will happen to me next, i mean i could be rapped,i could starve,i could get ran over or i could jump of this beautiful avilable cliff that even has a warning sign '' Many people died here, don,t be the next!!!'' huh? i said to myself throwing small rocks over the cliff while looking at the mountains, and just to my luck more like unluck i got wet....how? a car passed by and turned by a puddle annoying?!! Im wet,starving and alone but, i wanted to do this so, i must resist the temtation to eat....starving is no excuse,smelly and wet is no excuse either but, thirsty i guess i could start crying now, so here i am walking again alone,cold and wet on the streets looking for an available tree to climb and sleep on meaning available no man has peed on it yet!!!

So, i lie there finally i found an available tree the stars are so, pretty here, at home they aren,t that pretty too much light there but,here its exceptional..... While lieing down i connect his name with the stars they say when you do that your love will go to you or will come after you hopefully its true but, i don,t see my prince charming anywhere.... After 2 hours i wake up in the middle of the night and i see someone walking  shouting out my name''Jane,Jane!!!'' but, this time im not dreaming and its bright he has a car and his wearing a suit ''Jane,Jane'' he calls out louder but, he isn,t coming towards this tree his walking towards the cliff and his crouching and putting his palms to his eyes ''Is he crying?'' i say to myself quietly ''Jane,JANE don,t leave me, jane how will i live without you? I love you JANE!!! You hear me Jane!!!!'' he shouts out like a crazy man and im touched and absolutely moved by his warm yet cold heart, that i start tearing up and i climb down off the tree and while walking towards him i feel like im walking home. A sudden warm opened feeling, slowly i start walking, then walk running finally running towards him,tearing up even more ''oppa'' i call out ''OPPA'' i call out even louder ''Jane'' he says in shock and runs towards me and hugs me tight , i sob in his arms knowing that i miss him too much and love him too much to say goodbye ''Why did you say goodbye?'' he said looking at me ''I thought it would be bettter that way!!!'' i said smiling, he grabbs my waist and pulls me close then kisses me on the lips finally not by accident then it started raining ''saranheayo, jane'' he said hugging me more and now i feel at home