Silent warrior: A Daryl Dixon Fan fiction

Chapter 32: Release

The front door opens and Deanna walks into her house before freezing at the doorway. She turns her head to the side with confused eyes and asks "Spencer, why are you not with the rest of them?"

At this point he's not rubbing my arms anymore but I'm still resting myself against him. "Shannon and Clint ran into each other" there's a pause "and it wasn't pretty" he explains honestly.

"Then who is with Glenn?" She questions.

"I had Nick go in my place. Someone needed to stay with her" he says, I can tell that he either motioned to me with his eyes or his head.

"Go where? Where is everybody?" I sit up a little bit; now curious to what they are talking about.

"The walker pit problem. The meeting Rick had earlier was to explain the plan and go on a dry run" Spencer says explaining "I was on my way to reschedule dinner but they told me you ran out of there with your things" he adds on.

"Dinner?" Deanna asks and both of us look to her.

"Mom, can we have some privacy please?" Spencer mumbles strongly under his breath, clearly annoyed now by her presence.

She gives us a glare but walks away quickly. I begin to feel the awkwardness of the situation and sit up further away from him. I go to stand up, still exhausted from the panic attack and he helps me. We stand up and wait in silence next to each other, neither of us knowing what to say next. I can't stand the silence and spit out the first thing that comes to mind "so, is dinner off then?" I shrug. Deep down I'm hoping it is, today has already proven to be an exhausting day, and it's not even mid afternoon yet.

"Well, not anymore" he rubs a hand around the back of his neck "unless you want it to be" he adds unsure.

"No, no! It's fine! Dinner will be nice." I assure him I'm okay with it. He smirks softly and I'm glad. He just helped me get through the worst panic attack and the least I could do is eat dinner with him. "You think you can help me find somewhere to stay? I'm not comfortable going back to Rick's house right now" I admit to him. I leave out the part of it being because of Daryl and let him make his own assumptions.

"Why don't you just stay here for today? When Rick and the others get back we can tell him about Clint and we'll sort this out." He suggests.

"Sure" I say, not wanting to get into the details about the fight with Daryl, or suggest staying somewhere else since no one else really knows about me or my history with Clint.

"Follow me" he says and leads us up the stairs. I follow him to his room "you can stay in my room, I'll crash in my brothers.." He trails off, looking towards the empty room that was once for his sibling.

"No, you don't have to give up your room for me.." I say feeling guilty taking it from him. Even worse having him sleep in his dead brothers room. I wouldn't want him to feel uncomfortable.

He shakes his head "it's fine"

"No, really. I can stay on the couch" I insist, not walking into the room.

"Shannon, really. Stay here" he puts his hand on my shoulder to assure me. I nod once with a small smile and walk into the room. "There's clean towels in the closet next to the bathroom, take your time.. I'll get started on dinner" he explains before releasing his hand and walking away.

I walk into the room and put my bag down on the floor by the chair. I plop myself down into the chair and start to silently cry. As the tears fall down I try to figure out the real reason I'm so upset. Running into Clint was bad, but the fact that Daryl wasn't here frightened me more. I've been controlled by men all my life, from my father, Ryan, to the group Joey sold me too. I've made it a point to keep myself guarded, not just from men but from anyone. This group has cracked the walls but Daryl's been the only one to climb over it. I allowed this beautiful disaster of a man into my life and he wasn't there when I needed him. None of them ever were. The idea of Daryl having this amount of control over me is making these tears fall faster.

I decide then to let myself break down and let everything out. The tears turn to sobs and before I realize it, Spencer is knocking on the door "are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I need to do this. Just let me be, please" I manage to get out.

I cry back out of the sobs. I try and contain my crying enough to hear him walk away and when I do I put my head into a pillow and cry louder than before.

It's been a couple of hours when the tears start to dry up and I no longer feel anything. The numbness I've come to know has taken over again and I feel like myself. The self that's been able to survive this apocalypse and the self that will continue to survive. I stand up groggily from all the crying and walk over to the mirror. My face has blotchy red spots all over and my eyes are even more red. Already familiar with the layout of the house, I open the bedroom door and walk across the way to the bathroom. I turn both handles but the warm one a bit more and let it run while I use the bathroom. After washing my hands I throw some water on my face a couple of times. I soak a cloth and re-enter his bedroom. I lay down on his bed and put the cloth over my face, letting myself soak in the moisture.

"Shannon?" I hear a voice on the other end of the door. I sit up, the cloth already off my face and wait to hear it again. I look at the clock and see it's now 7:32. I've slept past dinner time.

"Shit! Spencer! I'm sorry!" I call out through the door and stand up quickly to open it. Except it isn't Spencer but his mother, Deanna. "Oh. Hi" I say stepping back when I realize it's her.

Her eyes are as tired as they have been since the attack and I can tell she hasn't been sleeping "can we talk for a moment?" She asks in a low voice. I nod and step aside allowing her to come into the room. She steps around me and stands in the middle of the room. As she's walking in I peek into the hall but don't see Spencer. I turn to face her and wait for her to begin. She takes a deep breath, but it's not out of anger or frustration. She lets out the breath slowly "now that Clint knows you are here, what do you think we should do about him?" She puts two fingers to the bridge of her nose and holds it tightly.

"I.. I haven't really thought of that.. I guess we can ask Rick what he thinks when they all get back" I hesitate when I speak.

"He.. He uhh.." She says out in a mutter before collapsing onto the floor.

I rush to her aid and kneel down besides her "Deanna!" I expect for her to be passed out, but she's just crying. "Deanna. Talk to me." I say, wanting to console her but unsure of how to do so.

"This is too much. All of this is too much. All those people, all the blood.." She says through sobs. "It's always something to deal with now."

"You don't have to do it alone, Deanna. You have an entire community here to help you." I encourage her, trying to sound as confident as I did when I was encouraging Spencer.

Her sad eyes find mine momentarily and she realized the weakness she has shown. She quickly recovers from it "You are right. I'm not alone" she wipes away any tears from her face and stands up, declining any help from me. I stand next to her awkwardly, pretending to believe she is okay. "Let's keep this moment between us, got that Shannon?" She asks and tells me at the same time.

"Of course" I nod assuring her. "but Deanna, do you need to talk about anything, can I help with anything?" I offer my support.

Her eyes bore into me with something unfamiliar and I can tell she's annoyed with my comments "let's just leave it at that. We will deal with Clint another time" she nods at me before leaving the room.

__

About time Deanna had a breakdown! She lost her son and her husband. Anyway, I hope you are enjoying the read!

Q: Favorite artist/band?

A: Kelly Clarkson<3