Silent warrior: A Daryl Dixon Fan fiction

Chapter 31: Panic

My knees shake underneath me and it's taking everything I have in me to stay standing and not hurl on my own feet. My brain races through different scenarios as fast as a maglev train but I can't process anything and anything I've ever thought of saying or doing at this moment blurs together "I'd never thought I'd see that beautiful face again." His voice travels from the house through the air.

Denise can obviously tell something is wrong and has the look of a confused puppy on her face "Shay?" She questions.

"No, not this house. You're staying over here" a voice from behind me says and I turn my head slowly, still eyeing Clint but curious to who it is that's coming up. Everything in me is praying it's Daryl, because he'd take care of this right here, right now. However, I see Spencer come into view and although I'm disappointed, I'm relieved it's someone who knows about him and our past. "Denise. I'm sorry, I tried to explain to our new resident where to go but clearly she got lost" he smiles towards the young fill-in doctor. Denise eyes him curiously but luckily Clint is behind her and can't see her face.

Clint's curiosity beams through and he asks "new resident, huh?" one eyebrow raised.

"Stumbled right into me during rounds a few nights ago, haven't had a chance to get her settled with everything that happened." He lies quickly.

"How come nothin' was mentioned at Rick's meetin' this mornin'?" He asks, pushing it further, his lips pursing while he waits for an answer.

"Deanna," he pauses "my mother" he adds on for emphasis "just made the decision with him to let her stay moments after. They both had interviewed her but didn't have a chance to discuss it until afterwards." he explains calmly. "Why are you so curious Cameron?" he asks using the fake name everyone knows him in town by.

I know at this part I have to play along, if I don't, then he'll know we are lying. I raise my eyebrows and throw my eyes at him with a snarl. His eyes stay on mine but he accepts my look and throws his own lie into the mix "well, they had a meetin' bout us, just though it's what was done round here." Although part of me wants to throw something out there about his name being Cameron instead of Clint, I know I shouldn't. He's unpredictable and I don't know what it would make him do.

"Can you show me where I can stay, please?" I grab a hold of Spencer's forearm and squeeze it tightly, but not obvious enough for Clint to tell I'm flustered or anxious.

"Yea, come with me." he says turning away slowly from the house. "See you guys later" he says and I turn with him, keeping my eyes on the evil man for as long as possible before I'm fully turned and my neck can't stay that way anymore.

As we walk away I hear Clint yell out to us "Nice to see you, Shay!" although I tense at his words to me, we ignore it and keep ourselves moving away. Spencer walks me around a corner and we quicken the pace to his house. Once behind closed doors, I fall to my knee's and take deep breaths. "I can't do this! I can't.. he knows.. he knows we are lying and that I've been here this whole time!" I say between the breaths.

"He doesn't know Shannon. Calm down!" He kneels next to me and rubs a hand across my back. I keep trying to take deep breaths but my lungs are feeling closed and the panic continues to build up. My breaths start to get shorter and I feel the space around me close in. "Calm down. You're fine!" Spencer tries to calm me.

"I'm not fine!" I yell back frustrated and scared. I start to rock a little while on the floor as the air gets tighter in my lungs.

"What can I do?" Spencer asks me, realizing I'm not okay.

"Daryl, get Daryl" I plead to him through air gasps. Although he is the last person I want to be around right now, I know he's the only one that will make me feel better, who will make me feel safe.

I can see the disappointment in Spencer's eyes but he nods and lowly says "okay" before standing up and leaving the house quickly. While he's gone, my chest continues to feel heavy and my palms get sweaty. I try to rub them against my jeans but the clamminess just won't go away, all the while making me more anxious about it. I'm not sure how long he's gone for but when he comes back his face is still showing disappointment "he's gone" he says once he's entered and the door is shut. My body goes numb when he says it and I start to see spots through my vision. I've never had a panic attack before and I don't know what to do to get control. I want to escape from my own body and disappear from the Earth. The world's being ripped from underneath me, and I have nothing to hold to anymore.

I'm not sure how long it took, but I'm finally starting to breath more normal and feel parts of myself again. My body is getting movement back as I can feel the pins and needles run up my feet and legs. My lungs start to open up more and I'm not taking as many shallow breaths. The spotty vision and clammy hands are not as bad and I open my eyes to try and further along the pace I'm feeling better at. When I open them, I notice I'm still on the hardwood floor I fell down on earlier. There's a pair of legs covered in jeans on either side of me and my upper arms are being rubbed gently in a slow smooth motion. I sit up a little and realize that I was leaning against someone's chest. When I turn my head, Spencer is the one doing this all. I look up to him and he simply says "it's okay, just relax" and I do just as he says. I let myself fall back onto his chest and follow his arm movements with my breathe. As he continues to slow the pace my heart rate slows as well and everything is feeling normal again.

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Thank you for reading! I hope you are enjoying this book! Like/comment, I love feedback!

Q: What did you think when they named Judith, Judith?

A: Honestly, I hate the name for a baby. I mean, I don't mind it now but when Carl first picked it I was so annoyed!