Silent warrior: A Daryl Dixon Fan fiction

Chapter 34: Drunk & Stupid

I take on a shift to help keep watch that night. I stand guard on top a tower with Rosita. After a couple of hours without talking, I decide to try and talk with her, to help one another out "they'll be back, all of them." I say to her.

She looks at me, with daggers in her eyes "you don't know that" she spits before turning away and keeping her eyes pealed out towards the forest. I sigh and give up any further attempts at talking with her. As the sun rises I leave the wall to try and catch some sleep. Rosita refuses to leave so she stands guard alone. I make my way back towards the house and it wasn't until I was already at the door that I realized it wasn't were I was staying anymore. I pace on both feet, deciding what to do. Part of me wants to get my things and return to the place I've come to call home. But another part of me is still angry with Daryl and doesn't want to deal with it when he comes back, because I know he will come back. I turn to leave the steps and go to Spencer's where my things are. As I walk down the street, I see Maggie and Aaron walking away from the homes.

I quickly run up to them, following them down into a pipe drain. I get down there just as a commotion is coming to an end "everyone okay?" I ask, obvious to the fact they are startled about something.

Maggie looks at me and Aaron before tears start flowing down "I'm pregnant." she announces. My mouth opens in shock and she keeps going "He didn't want me to go out there and I said yes. And if I would've gone... if I was with him, maybe I could've helped him." she tries to rationalize what's going on as her fault "I don't know if he's alive. He would've shown me by now. That's what Michonne said." she adds. Referring to what happened hours ago, before the deadheads reached the walls and she returned without Glenn and Nicholas. "I just want to see his face." she buries her head into Aaron's shoulder and I rub my hand across her back. I don't have anything to console her, although I tried with Rosita, this is different, this is the father of her baby and I couldn't possibly understand what she's going through or feeling. I look out of the pipe drain and really get a feel for how many there are and it's too many to take on. My heart sinks knowing that I can't help her, but she doesn't push it any further.

"When he gets back" Aaron speaks to her "it's worth mentioning that Aaron, Erin, works for a boy or girl, depending on the spelling." Maggie and I look to him before she releases a small laugh "just saying" he says with a smile back and I find myself also enjoying the comment with a chuckle.

I leave the two of them and make my way back to Spencer's house for some rest. When I get to the door, I knock, feeling awkward just walking in. I wait a few moments but no one comes so I knock again. While I wait I hear something inside break so I push the handle to the door to find it's unlocked.

"Are you drunk?" I hear Deanna ask.

He slurs back "Getting there."

I stand at the door quietly listening "This came from the pantry. You-- you stole it?" she asks him angrily.

"I wouldn't call it that." he says with a chuckle.

"So what you told everyone, that was just bullshit?" She asks

"No. If they all went in and raided the pantry and everyone knew it, saw it, then that would be the end. But one person? One person, and no one ever would know. So, why not me?" He responds to her and pauses "I stopped that little run at the bank. I deserve a reward. One last celebration. Because they were right, Mom, and you know it. We're all gonna be dead real soon." he picks up something from the counter. I assume it's the booze that he's getting drunk off of.

"Damn it, Spencer!" She scolds.

"Me? Now that is some bullshit! You're the reason we're so screwed. You made us this way. We were never safe here. But you didn't want to see that. You didn't want us to see that. You just wanted to dream. What happened to Dad, to Aiden, that's all you." He insults back. There's a clatter and a scuffle and she quickly storms past me and out of the house.

I slowly walk into kitchen and watch as Spencer has his back turned to me and is drinking from the bottle "that was harsh" I say loud enough for him to turn around.

When he does, they are glazed over in a drunken state and they stare into me "what's it matter to you anyway" he slurs back.

"She's doing everything she can, it can't be easy. Give her a break" I defend his mother. He snorts in response and goes back to the liquor. I walk over to him and rip it away from his mouth.

"What the hell!" He snorts, some of it spitting out onto his chin and shirt.

"You've had enough" I place it down on the counter hard.

"You're not my mother, or my girlfriend" he goes and grabs it out of my hand.

I roll my eyes "you know, you're absolutely right. I'm not" I return stubbornly and storm out of the kitchen. I go up to his room and grab my bag that's still packed up. When I turn to leave the room Spencer is leaning against the door with his hand to his head.

I stare at him, willing him to move without having to say anything "look, I'm sorry" he shrugs, pausing. "I was a jerk to you and for no reason. I know you're just trying to help" he explains.

"It's not me you should be apologizing to." I respond, putting one hand on my hip.

He sighs heavily and walks to his bed taking a seat on the edge. He stares at the floor silently for a while before saying anything "I just can't forgive her" he finally whispers, I see a tear fall from his cheek onto his jeans and I sit down next to him.

"You're not the only one who lost them, yanno" I say putting my hand on his back "they were you're father and brother, but they were her husband and son, too" I try to explain it differently.

He nods a few times understanding and the tears continue to drop, making a small wet spot on his jeans "none of us are prepared for something like this" he says, wiping the tears from his face before looking to me.

I move my hand from his back and move it to his knee "then we prepare them" I simply suggest.

"Thanks" he says with a cute smile.

"You're welcome" I say back. "now, let's get some coffee in you" I slap his knee a little and stand up, leading the way back down to the kitchen.

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Where the hell is Daryl? What do you think so far? Sequel is coming soon!

Q: If you were bit, would you let yourself die and turn, or yanno, take yourself out?

A: I'd like to say I'd take myself out to try and spare others but I don't think I'd be able to. Have to have someone else do it once I'm gone.