Mine, Always

Chapter Three

I've never been popular, but then I've never been unpopular either. When we lived in Devon I was only a kid but I still got on with people, I never ate lunch alone but I always hung out with my older brother Bobby after school and I was ok with that. After we moved back to Dad's home town (and I guess Bobby's) I met Sophie. Her family and my family had been best friends since our mums were pregnant with our older siblings. She was an instant best friend, we clicked and I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for her. Our families hope we'll get together one day and after Bobby and Andrea it's no surprise. I realised I was gay when I was 13, I told Sophie a year later and she said she'd know for ages, it brought us closer together and for that I am grateful.

I'm not worried about coming out as such, its 2019, gay married in the UK has been legal for five years, I guess I'm worried that while the government excepts me that my family won't and I don't want to disappoint them. I know they still want me and Sophie to get married and have kids and I do want that; marriage and kids I mean, I guess it's odd for a 15 year old to say that but trust me if you met Bobby and Andrea you'd want it too. They are like a real live advert for true love.

The thing is no-one at school expects that I am gay because they all think me and Sophie are together, no matter how much we've denied it. Guys are convinced we are having sex and have been for years, it doesn't seem to matter to them that we are only 15 and that it is actually illegal!

I don't exactly help myself were friends are concerned, I like sports but they are all sports I can do alone. I am on the swim team though and the track team. I also kayak and cycle outside of school either with Bobby or alone. I am fit, I'm not vain but I know I'm good looking. (Andrea actually jokes that it is impossible to be in my family and be ugly, she says it bitterly but I'm not sure why as her and Sophie are both petty. Bobby says it's because Andrea could never resist his good looks – I don't know what to believe but its ok because she is right we are a pretty awesome looking family.)

I though this year would be another easy sail. Yeah coming in today and going back in the proverbial closet was harder than last year but I knew I'd get over it. I've always promised myself I'd come out after secondary school, that way if my family does reject me at least I can move out and go to university but after the new guy I'm not so sure. No-one in school is openly gay and single (I only say this because I know there are two guys dating in the year above me and two girls in the year above that) so it's never been something I've had to worry about. But I am worried now because it's ok for me to fall over a guy that has no interest in my but on that might like me back? That's just not ok. Hopefully he'll have forgotten about me by lunch time and I can go back to temporarily living in the closet in peace.