Mine, Always

Chapter Fifteen

It was my fault, I realise that now and even though it's ruined everything I'm not sure I can find it in myself to care. For the next month after that dinner with Zach and his parents we get closer, I get more comfortable with him, I let my guard down. I'm an idiot.

In the two hours we spend together things change, I didn't even notice but we started sitting closer together, then close enough that we'd be touching from hip bone to our knees, then at some point we started holding hands, hugging, me lying with my head in his lap while we chatted and got to know each other more and more. Maybe I didn't know what was happening; maybe I just didn't care but now? Now there's no turning back.

It's the first Friday in December and coach isn't being kind.

"Braxton tighten up that roll."

"Walsh, its front crawl not splash sort out those arms."

"Brown if you move any slower my dead grandmother will catch you."

All three of us instantly correct ourselves and coach continues his onslaught of criticism at the others. Half an hour later he blows the whistle but I ignore it and carry on swimming, I need to leave exhausted. I'm swimming for maybe half an hour when I realise I'm not alone; in the lane next to me is Zach.

I swim for another half an hour, the whole time aware Zach is meters away from me, and it was like a whole new form of torture.

It was just after 7pm when I finally climb out of the pool. I take my googles and hat off and down my water bottle before I've even grabbed my towel. I walk towards my locker unconcerned I'm dripping everywhere and quickly get my stuff out and start drying myself and getting dressed.

I'm all dressed bar my t-shirt when Zach walks in dripping wet and looking good enough to eat.

"You look-" Zach starts to say but it seems he can't find the words and I'm not sure I even care my heart is beating so fast I'm sure it's trying to jump right out of my chest. Somehow without me noticing Zach has moved closer to me, so close I can feel his body heat radiating from him and my breath hitches at his closeness.

"Tom, can I-" he starts but I don't give him a chance to finish, I move closer to him and in seconds my lips have stopped him from talking.

I have never done anything so reckless in my life but the second he starts kissing me back I don't care. While our lips are all over each other I thread my hands through his hair like I've wanted to do for weeks if not months now. His hands roam over my naked chest and I shiver from pleasure. His hands snake around my waist and then lower until he's grabbing my bum, I don't mean to but I moan. He takes advantage of the fact my mouth is opened slightly and runs his tongue along my bottom lip begging for entry and I let him without a second thought. The feel of his tongue against mine and then his body as his crushes me against the locker leaves me breathless but I still want more, so much more.

"Tom...." Zach says pulling away but not moving his body. Standing there with his body on me and looking into his gorgeous blue eyes I start to panic.

"Baby?" Zach asks and I close my eyes in hope to shake the feeling that one word has given my whole body.

"I – Zach – I-," I try to say as I wiggle out from beneath him trying to ignore the fact we are both hard.

"Please Tom, baby don't freak out," Zach says from behind me as I start grabbing my stuff at an alarming rate. When I finally have everything packed and I've locked my locker I turn to look at him. He looks petrified that this has gone awry and even though it has, even though it's all my fault I know that the only way I'm going to be able to get through the rest of this year and next year with him around is to make him hate me.

"Stop calling me baby! I'm not your fucking baby!" I scream with as much venom as I can.

"I'm sorry Tom, can we-" he starts but I cut him off before I lose my nerve.

"No we can't – we can't do anything. Don't talk to me, look at me and do not call me!" I say and storm out, I'm crying before I've even left the building.