Mine, Always

Chapter Twenty Six

It was even harder to keep my hands to myself after the weekend I'd spent with Zach. I'd never been more myself with anyone and it felt so liberating to be me. Zach spent half his lunch break with me and half with his friends but by February he'd given up trying to socialise with others and ate lunch with me Sophie and Ben. We all became fast friends, Ben was easy to like and he was perfect for Sophie, he was hard working, loyal and didn't take shit from anyone. I liked that he'd stick up for Sophie but when she was wrong he also wasn't afraid of her; even I was scared of her sometimes.

"You're never going to tell me are you?" Sophie says in a winey voice.

We are sitting in the cafeteria, I'm trying to eat lunch in peace but it's not going well at all.

"Babe are you still bugging him about that?!" Ben asks leaning down and kissing her on the lips.

"Yes, I just - I know everything about him but this!" She says defensively and well she has a point I've never not told her anything and I do kind of feel bad.

"I can tell her?" Zach throws in clearly as bored of this whole attack as I am.

"Maybe I just want to keep some things between us?! Is that wrong?" I say and I get up from the table leaving my lunch behind. I love Sophie and honestly I wanted to tell her but then I realised that she wouldn't understand the feelings behind the actions and I just couldn't bring myself to tell her those. Feelings; they scare me to think about let alone talk about.

"You love him," I hear Sophie say from behind me, I've make it all the way to our locker and she's still found me.

"I - yes." I say not evening bothering to lie.

"You could have told me," she says and we both slide down the lockers to the floor and she snuggles into me.

"I've never been more terrified in my life Sophie; I thought love was supposed to be easy?" I say my voice breaking on the word love.

"Love is easy Tom, trust is hard."

"But I trust him, I trust him with my life," I tell her knowing it's the truth; I know Zach will never hurt me.

"You need to trust yourself Tom," she tells me rolling her eyes.

"I'm not good enough for him Soph, he deserves so much better than me, so much more than I can give him," I say and I'm surprised when she doesn't say anything.

"I can tell you what we did if you want me too?" I question hoping it will un-silence her.

"You need to stop worrying so much Tom; it's not good for you. If you try your best to be everything Zach wants or needs then what more can you do?"

"How am I meant to choose between him and my family? One day that decision will be something I have to think about and I don't know how to even begin to try." I tell her.

"I wouldn't think it was all that difficult, if your family can't love you for you and your boyfriend can it's pretty obvious who you should choose - but it isn't and I get that but like you said that's ONE DAY that day isn't today so just bloody enjoy it," she tells me smiling.

"Hand jobs." I tell her barely audible and I watch her eyes go wide and she smiles.

"I'm happy for you Tom you know that right?" she tells me hugging me close to her.

"I do, and I'm happy for you too." I tell her kissing the top of her head.

"TOM?!" I hear a voice suddenly and I'm shocked when I look up and see it's Bobby.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask and I can already feel the panic brewing inside me because he's eying me and Sophie and I know what he thinks; it's written all over his face.

"Oh Mr Frost wanted me to talk to his afternoon Mechanics class," he says and I've finally stood up and separated myself from Sophie.

"Oh right, Zach and Ben are in that class," I tell him for no other reason than if I don't talk I think I'll scream.

"Did you break up with Ben?" Bobby asks Sophie looking at us both and now I know for sure he thought we looked like a couple before.

"No Bobby, me and Ben are still together and I still don't want to date Tom." She says rolling her eyes.

"Uhuh, whatever you say, I'll see you both later I have a class to get to," he tells us and then he's off.

"Did that actually just happen?" I ask Sophie sure I dreamt the whole thing.

"It did, oh and look here's Zach and Ben." She says ignoring Bobby's retreating back and spotting the boys.

"Babe," Zach says gingerly but I've forgot what I done to make him think he's in the dog house and grab hold of his hand and cling on like he's a life preserve.

"Are you ok?" He asks probably wondering if I've lost my mind in the last ten minutes as I've literally glommed myself to him. The irony isn't lost on me that the person that can calm my worries is also the person that can cause them to come true.

"Bobby's here," I say and he looks at me worriedly for a moment.

"And you're touching me?" He asks and I know he doesn't mean it rudely so I let it go.

"I - yes?" I say but I'm confused because I'm wondering if I care about Bobby finding out anymore.

"Why is Bobby here?" Zach asks.

"Oh he's talking to you guys in your Mechanics class," I tell him and now he looks worried.

"It's ok, I'm sure it will be fine," he says and I laugh.

"You need to learn not to worry so much babe," I say laughing it feels good to lighten the mood.

The bell goes for class before Zach can reply but I don't let him leave without a quick kiss.

When I get home later that evening I'm just entering my bedroom when Bobby's door opens and he's calling out to me to wait.

"Can I ask you something?" He says quietly and I assume he just doesn't want our parents to hear.

"Of course."

"Do you want to tell me why all the kids in mechanics thought I'd give Zach special treatment?" He asks and I panic I'm sure he can see it across my face but I try to play it cool and say the first thing that comes to mind.

"You work with his dad Bobby, so I'd say that's probably why." I say and I sound weird even to myself.

"That's what I thought," he says and heads back into his room.

As he's closing his door I hear him speak to someone inside and I know it's Andrea "I think your right babe, damn it I hate being wrong."

I laugh because Bobby sure does hate being wrong and around Andrea it seems to happen a lot.