He's A Monster ✓

21 | Comfort

I watched how the skies changed color from light into dark, as the stars above started to show as if giving comfort to my soul, lighting my dark world. Reminding me that in darkness, there is light, even a tiny one just like how a piece of a star is illuminating the sky, that once its clouds cleared, you'll be able to see those stars shining for you.

Kasabay noon ay halos mapalundag ako nang marinig ang mahinang pagbago sa glass window na nasa harap ko. Base sa tunog nito, hindi iyon may kalakasan at para bang ginawa lamang upang kuhanin ang atensyon ko.

Tumingin ako sa ibaba sa pag aakalang doon iyon nagmula, at hindi ako nagkakamali nang makita ko ang isang taong nakasuot ng isang hoodie jacket na siyang nakataklob ang mukha at nakatingala, at para bang umaambang muling babatuhin ang kwarto ko!

Nanlaki ang mata ko at biglang napatayo. What the fuck?

And it seemed as if that someone couldn't see me since it's already dark and the only thing that's giving light to his place are those small lamps at each side of this dormitory. The reason why I can't see his face too.

At dahil nga hindi niya ako nakikita ay muli itong binato ang aking kwarto gamit ang maliit na bato, ngunit dahil glass lamang iyon at siyang aking katabi pa ay narinig ko iyon. Mabilis akong tumayo— na medyo nakaramdam nang mumunting pagkahilo dahil sa kakulangan sa aking pagkain at ang biglaang paggalaw, at nilapitan ang aking lampara tsaka iyon binuksan, bago muling bumalik sa aking pwesto upang sumilip rito.

This time, I know that ‘that’ someone could finally see me since my movement right now could emit shadows— especially since my glass window is moved at the side.

Nakita ko itong kumaway at sumenyas na. . . bumaba ako? At nang ibinaba nito ang kanyang hood ay nanlaki ang mata ko at mabilis na napaawang ang bibig dahil. . .

It's Neither Sebastian, and boys aren't allowed in this dormitory!

Sigurado ako, na sa oras na mahuli ito ay madadamay rin ako, kaya't hindi ako nagdalawang isip na kumaripas ng takbo pababa upang makarating sa kanyang pwesto, hindi na inalintala ang halos kaiiyak kong itsura at ang napakagulo kong buhok.

I didn't bother changing my outfit since. . . well, of course, I do wash myself. And instead of using the elevator, I used the stairs instead.

Mabibilis ang mga yapak sa paikot-ikot na hagdanang hindi gaanong ginagamit lalo na't may elevator naman rito. Maparaan ako sa isang salaming dilim ang makikita sa loob, ngunit sapat na upang makita ko ang aking itsura mula roon.

My hair is really messy, as I tried to fix it by combing using my hair as I catch my breath. I also wiped my face, placing some strands of my hair behind my left ear as I stood straight before walking with my chin lifted high.

No one must see me as weak.

I closed my eyes tightly as the bright room— where the huge and magical-looking chandelier welcomed my gaze, as I saw some people walking back and forth inside the dormitory that is becoming our home for women. Then the elevator ringed, which made me look to my left where I saw those who entered earlier came into my view.

Some people are looking at me which I just shook my head and walked with confidence. Right. My face showed I just cried but the hell I care about their thoughts, right?

The glass door open and close as people come and go, as the cold breeze entered the room, blowing my hair, making them danced with their own rhythm as I hugged myself after feeling the coldness in it.

There, I saw myself through my reflection at the glass door as I walked through it, wearing a simple shirt and my cotton shorts that's above my thighs, and wearing my fluffy slippers that the school put inside our dorm— maybe the reason why people are looking at me.

I just shook my head and lifted my gaze in front. Not so far in my place where there's a lamp post that giving light in the darkness and a bench where two people could sit on, a man leaning on that poor lamp post while crossing his arms and looking at his feet welcomed my gaze.

Why is he standing if he could sit on that bench? Well, whatever.

I walked closer to his place, hugging my body as the wind blew again, causing my hair to be blown by it. His hoodie is lifted on his head again, making me unable to see his face from this distance.

And maybe he felt a presence nearing his place since he lifted his face and looked at my place as his eyes glimmered that even he's exactly at where the source of light is, I saw it.

Ngunit mabilis lamang iyon dahil mabilis na napalitan nang dilim ang nanliwanag niyang tingin nang makita ako. I bit my lower lip to prevent them from shivering from both the surroundings and his stares.

He gazed at me darkly as if he's angry over something that I don't know why, but when he spit those words, I quickly understand the reason why.

“You're putting on a brave expression but your eyes are sad,” He said and approached me, jaw clenching at the sight of me as if he doesn't like what he's seeing.

I saw him removed his jacket— the reason why he's left with wearing his sleeveless shirt on this freaking cold night.

My eyes widened with what he did, but I felt like I will forever be shocked at what he's doing, especially when he walked closer to me— which made me step backward, but he just glared at me that caused me to stay still.

He put his jacket on me that I could smell his firewood scent. “How long has it been since you've taken care of your body?” he glared at me, “You're so pale as if you've given your blood already!”

I sighed heavily and avoiding his gaze. “I'm fine,” My voice croaked, but I don't want them to worry about me.

“Stop telling me you're okay when you're obviously not,” He frustratedly sighed before looking at me softly. “Come on, let's get you something to eat,” He said and turned his back, started walking away.

But I didn't follow him and remained standing in my place.

When he noticed that I wasn't moving, he looked back and again, his annoyed expression showed as if this time, he isn't hiding it anymore.

“Look. I know you are mourning but you don't have to kill yourself,” He whispered with his deep voice and even his face shows how displeased he is at me.

Napaawang ang labi ko sa kanyang sinabi. “I'm not killing myself—” I haven't finished what I was saying when he cut me.

“That isn't what I am seeing,” Natahimik ako dahil sa kanyang sinabi.

Nagbaba ako ng tingin habang siya't napabuntong hininga nang hindi man ako gumalaw. I don't what's next, but in my view, I saw his feet and I felt his presence nearing me as I lifted my head a little, looking at him in which, he averted his gaze.

“If I could hold your hand, I will lead our way,” He whispered, avoiding my gaze. I saw him extended his right hand as I remained gazing at it for a while, before transferring my eyes to his face.

“Are we going to the cafeteria?” It was supposed to be a firm and brave voice, like what I usually use. But now, it was so soft as if I wasn't the one speaking those.

He bit his lower lip. “Yeah,” He whispered breathlessly.

As he looked at me and that's when I've noticed his pale cheeks slowly having pinkish color before he averted his gaze again and licked his lower lip that remained there for maybe. . . three seconds.

And when he looked at me, his anger dissipated, and right now, he's looking at me softly, before biting his lips.

“I've chosen to dive even there's no guarantee that I'll reach the surface again,” He whispered that I didn't get it, before he holds my hand gently, turning his back on me, and started advancing away from that place.

And I just saw myself getting pulled by the depth of the abyss. So deep. . . just like how dark that place is. With my heart beating so fast and loud.