Don't you ever let me go. [Matt Flyzik]

The hardest part.

Jack's 'wolf' impression sounds like a walrus... That boy is just...ugh. xD

"Have you ever seen the movie 'Fantasia'?" "Yeah.." "That. ._."

Why is Matt Flyzik so fucking perfect? -flails-  IFEELSOBAD.

Sorry, I'm a weird one. 

Oh, and sorry about this chapter, lovelies. GETABOXOFFUCKINGTISSUES,YO. lol,jk.

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The next few days were extremely difficult. I had to somehow gain enough courage to tell everyone connected to me. Tony, Sarah, Anne. Everyone. The hardest, though, by far, was Ettie. She was the last one I told, simply because I didn't have the heart to tell her, until Matt made me. I sat there silently, toying with my fingers as he brought her in. She gave me one look, and tears came to her eyes.

"Oh, Ettie, noooo!" I whined, quickly thrusting my arms out to hug her.

She sniffled against my shoulder. "What's wrong? Matt won't tell me anything besides that you're sick."

I sighed heavily. "Et, babygirl, I'm not just sick. I have cancer..and there's a large chance, that I won't make it..."

Her sniffling stopped, and she shot up quickly. "No. You're lying. You have to be lying!" 

I cringed as she shouted and shook my head solemly.  "I wish I was, sweetheart."

She dropped her head to my shoulder again, and starting sobbing. Tears fell from my face as well. Juliette had basically become like a younger sister to me, and telling her this was the last thing I wanted to do.

"You can't leave me." She whispered through her tears. 

My breath caught in my throat, and I felt terrible. We cried for what had to be a few hours, before she pulled away. 

"I'm so sorry, Juliette, but I need you to be strong." My eyes were flowing with emotion still.

She nodded and hugged me, tears still hitting my shoulder. Eventually, Ettie had to go, her tear stained face still remained in my mind though. I felt the bed shift, and noticed Matt climbing in beside me. He had done this every day, just to be close to me. He looked up at me, and his eyes were swimming with emotion. They held so much sadness, so much bitterness. And yes, my illness and I were the cause of that. I sighed. I felt guilty. I couldn't do this anymore. I just simply couldn't forget how much I was hurting people. If this was going to take me down, I didn't want anyone to be around to hurt when it did.

"Matthew..." I mumbled.

"Sophia..."

"I can't do this anymore."

He hesitated. "Do what?"

I pointed back and forth between us. "This. I can't do this, I can't do us."

His eyes gained even more sadness than I thought was possible. "You're just scared."

I shook my head, and felt tears come to my eyes, but I squeezed them shut to quickly guide them away.  

"No, I just can't. This doesn't work."

"We worked just fine, Soph."

"We won't work anymore."

"Why not?" He whispered.

My words rose unexpectedly. "Because, Matt. You're gone all the damn time, and I'm sick... Really fucking sick, and I can't do a damn thing about it. I'm dying, Matthew."

My voice lowered with those last three words.

He ran his hand through my hair. "Those are a quitter's words, Soso, and you aren't a quitter. We both know that."

I shook my head. He didn't know how hard this was. "Maybe I wasn't, but now, I'm giving up. I don't want you here anymore, Matthew. You need to go." 

As those words fell from my mouth, I couldn't even bring myself to look up at his face. I knew what lied within his features. Shock, hurt, sadness, and maybe even a bit of anger. I did what I needed to though, I didn't want to fight, and he didn't need to see me let go. 

He sighed. "Sophia, please-"

"I'm done, Matt. We're done. You can go now, and don't come back. I'll make sure the nurses know not to let you in anymore."

It was silent for a few moments until he leaned up and placed a light kiss on my forehead, removing himself from the bed. Out of the corner of my eye I saw his feet take him to the front of the bed before he stopped. 

"I love you, Sophia Monroe Silverfield, don't you dare forget that." He whispered.

I stayed unmoving as the sound of his steps started over again. Once the door creaked open and then made the same noise as it shut, I allowed myself to look over towards it. I was now alone. He was gone. Breaking down into sobs, I realized what had just happened. I had officially pushed him away. I was done with trying, and he didn't need to be here when my body gave in to the toxic things inside of it. And now, he wouldn't. This was my hell.