Clouded ( Jc Caylen Fanfiction )

Chapter 19

( Jc's P.O.V )

I sat on the hospital bed gripping my head, I was turning into a lunatic wasn't I? The feeling still hasn't gone away, the indescribable feeling that sits inside me and eats me alive changing me as it does so.

My hand still throbbed but for some reason it wasn't really what was hurting me. I let out a shaken gasp as I ran my opposite hand through my messy brown hair . Why was this happening to me? what could I do to make it stop.

I didn't want anyone to see me like this, they couldn't know I was falling apart. But for what? a girl that is impossible to describe my feelings for to anyone. She was nothing to anyone but something more to me and I couldn't explain it, I couldn't explain why I felt this way. it'd sound crazy if I tried to explain and sadly I think that's all that anyone was going to think of me. I was losing my mind.

"Jc".

I stiffened and sat there, I didn't want any visitors, I didn't want someone to see me like this.Slowly after a long silence filled the room I craned my neck to see who was watching me. It was Shane.

"Please...don't look at me...not like this..." I croaked out as I felt the tears begin to gloss over my eyes.

I could see the pain in Shane's deep brown eyes as he edged his way over to my bed and sat down on the bottom of it looking at me.

"How are you doing...?" he asked.

I looked down at my one bandaged up hand and other shaken pale hand. "I'm going crazy.." I breathed out.

I looked up at Shane's expression that looked at me with worry and sorrow. "Why do you say that....?" he asked clearing the lump in his throat.

"Just look at me...." I attempted a smile but it never came, the tears began to pour down my cheeks and I let out a shaken gasp as a frown replaced the smile I was hoping to give to Shane, "Look what I'm turning into...".

Shane stayed silent as his hands gripped his knees and he looked down.

"You're still the same Jc I grew up knowing, it's just this time instead of holding in all your feelings your just letting them out. Nothing wrong with that," he replied.

I didn't understand the anger inside of me, I don't know why it was suddenly breaking out and showing the people I love and care about the angry and aggressive person I never thought would come out of me.

"you know the sad part...." I breathed out and felt Shane's eyes fall back onto me, "I don't even know what I'm angry about...".

Truth was I had a lot of things to be angry about, I just couldn't decide what set me off. What made me suddenly break down cause it never happens like this. I wanted to be someone you could feel safe around and come to talk to but that was all starting to disappear. I scared Jaylyn, hell I scared my whole family, I even scared my friends. But worst of all I was scaring myself.

( Shane's P.O.V )

I looked at Jc's tears streamed face and pink eyes, he didn't know why he was angry and It ate me alive that I couldn't do anything about it.
He needed a break, he needed to get away from all the stress.

"Maybe you need to get away from it all" I said.

He looked at me with his tear filled pink eyes, "what do you mean?".

" you just need to go out and get your mind off things" I said.

He sighed deeply, "I can't...all the guys are flying down here from California next Sunday, I can't just abandon the collab, I can't be lazy....., I need to make videos" Jc finished.

"I'm sure they'd understand if you took a couple days off" I smiled trying to get an agreement from Jc.

He hesitantly shook his head no, "It wouldn't be right.. I can't do that to them".

"Actually" a voice came from the door making Jc and I look over.

"Perhaps that wouldn't be such a bad idea," the doctor smiled opening the door fully and walking in .

I wondered how long he had been listening to our conversation, "It would be good if you could get away from all the things that are stressing you out".

Jc looked at the doctor and back at me with his hazel-brown eyes and sighed hesitantly still unsure of the idea. "I guess we could make it work" he said as a smile curved on his face, a smile that probably hasn't been shown for a while.

( Fey's P.O.V )

I had called Shane and begged him until he agreed to finally stay for dinner. I was really nervous what if my mom didn't like Shane? What if I won't be able to go to the cottage?. All I really wanted to do was get away from all this drama with Jc and relieve all my stress. Leah was at a friends house for a sleepover so the only person Shane really had to worry about impressing was my mom.


I sat in my room looking in my mirror with my brown hair straightened down to my elbows and make up applied. The door bell rang, "Fey Shane's here! can you answer the door!" my mom shouted up at me from the kitchen.

I got up and headed down the stairs and answered the door to see Shane standing there wearing black jeans, a navy blue V-neck and of course a grey beanie on his head.

"Hi" he smiled at me and I stepped to the side letting him in.

"Hey" I smiled back as my mom came through the hallway to the front door.

"You must be Shane," she smiled causing him to smile back as he shook her hand.

"Yeah nice to meet you Ms. Watson" he smiled.

"Oh please call me Jenn" she replied with a small laugh looking at me and back into Shane's dark brown eyes.

"You can make yourself comfortable Shane while I finish cooking dinner, Fey why don't you show him around" my mom said making her way back into the kitchen.

"She seems nice" Shane chimed in and nudged me with his elbow. On the phone I had told Shane that my mom wanted to meet him and she might be a bit harsh or scary. It seems he took it to heart to be cocky about it.

"Ohhoho just wait until dinner" I smirked at him walking into the living room leaving him looking at me with worry.

The clanking of the utensils on our plates filled some of the silence in the room as we ate.

"So Shane what do you do for work?" My mom asked breaking the silence as she cut up her chicken.

"Uh, I have a part time job at McDonalds" he replied putting a piece of chicken in his mouth and started to chew.

I smirked at him he never told me he worked at McDonalds, finally something I could use against him. He saw my smirk returning one and looked back down as he stabbed another piece of chicken on his plate with his fork.

"Oh just part time?" she asked.

"Well I also play guitar in a band called Ready Revolution and make Youtube videos" Shane replied.

My mother nodded looking slightly impressed and continued to ask away. " Oh what are Youtube videos?" she asked enphasizing the word Youtube.

" He makes and uploads videos and video blogs on the internet" I said explaining to my mom.

" Oh well what kind of videos? " she asked Shane.

" mainly entertainment videos and sometimes vlogs " he said.

She nodded as the stabbed the lettuce of her salad with her fork. " So what is your family like?" she asked.

Shane stayed silent for a bit as he stabbed a piece of his chicken with his fork, he looked as if something were making him uncomfortable about the subject. Which in my opinion I thought was strange and unusual because from what I know of Shane he is really open about himself.

" Uh, not much to really say about them..." he had a faltered smile as he glanced back down at his plate.

I guess my mom got the vibe he didn't want to talk about it so she brushed it off and continued to ask him other things.

" So how old are you? " she continued.

" Twenty-one " he replied.

"And you are aware my daughter is only nineteen right? " she added glancing up at Shane from her plate with a look. Shane blinked looking at me with some confusion and back at my mom clearing his throat awkwardly. Oh God mom why.

" Shane and I don't have a thing mom" I stated again looking at her with serious eyes.

" Okay okay.." she muttered looking back down at her plate as silence filled the room again.

The utencils clattering on the plates filled the silence again in the room. I picked up my water and took a sip from it as Shane put another piece of chicken in his mouth.

" So are you virgin? " my mom blurted out to Shane.

I choked on my water almost spitting it out and coughed as Shane began to choke on the chicken in his mouth. " Mom! " I shouted. Shane cleared his throat swallowing the chicken that was in his mouth and looked at me awkwardly, " Um can I use the washroom? ".

" Sure it's up the stairs, to your left " I said as he nodded smiling obviously embarrassed, getting up from his chair and exiting the room.

After watching Shane leave the room I craned my neck over to my mom with a unimpressed look. Did she honestly have to ask that.

" Tonight was....interesting.." Shane muttered as he leaned against one of the pillars on my cement porch.

I sighed deeply and laughed a bit, " I'm sorry my mom can be...crazy at times ".

" Aren't all parents?" he commented with a smirk.

I nodded and smiled at him looking out at my neighbourhood in the nighttime. It was a beautiful night In Texas and I just loved it when it got dark.

" Well " Shane broke my train of thought, " it's getting late so I should probably get going " he smirked again.

" Yeah probably " I replied.

" I'll talk to you later " he said smiling making his way down the porch steps, " Thanks again for dinner " he finished.

" No problem, have a safe drive home " I replied as he waved making his way down the driveway into his car.

The ignition started and the beamers of his car turned on, he smiled at me raising his hand in the air waving once more at me behind the windshield of his car ,before he pulled out and drove away down the dimmed lighted street.

I sighed deeply leaning against the door frame as I watched the red lights of the rear of Shane's car disappear into the distance.

I wondered why Shane didn't want to talk about his family, sure he was cocky and rude at times but he could be sweet and charming as well and very open about himself. I wondered if there was a reason for the way he acted, What was Shane Gamboa hiding? and would I ever figure it out.