I Used To Be

Chapter 3

            I woke up the next morning easily, clear-headed and very, very hungry. I had already read over my meal plan for today, so I knew that breakfast consisted of two slices of toast, 3 egg whites, and half of a grapefruit. I was sad to see that cereal wasn't listed any day, the closest was oatmeal, and the steel-cut kind. Ugh. I had no idea how to separate the whites from the yolks in an egg. I didn't feel like bothering Mom, so I looked up a video on YouTube that showed me how to do it, and headed for the kitchen. I had about an hour before I needed to leave for the studio.

But first – time to weigh! I went into the bathroom and stripped. I stepped on the scale. 124. Holy shit. One day on this diet and I'd already lost 2 pounds! How was that even possible? Maybe my metabolism wasn't completely dead after all. This was very encouraging. Very. I put on my bathrobe, grabbed my phone and this time went into the kitchen for real, with a spring in my step. Suddenly, I was excited to try my new breakfast. I was learning how to cook too! This could be nothing but good. (desperatelydancing)

I watched the how-to video on the way to the kitchen. It looked easy enough – crack the egg and just roll the yolk back and forth between the halves of the shell while the white poured into the bowl below. I grabbed the carton of eggs from the fridge and the bread from on top. The menu called for "multi-grain" bread. This bread said "white-wheat." Hm. I needed to go to the store this afternoon for sure.

The first egg broke in the wrong place so that I had one half that was way too small. When I tried to ease the yolk into what was basically just a little cap of the shell, it plunked into the bowl, and promptly broke into the white. Damn. Should I just eat it anyway? I hated wasting food. No Anna; you need to follow this plan exactly. No cheating. Otherwise you will go back to that disgusting out-of-control pig that you were just one day ago. Yeah. Cheating on the second day of my diet wasn't a good idea. Which meant . . . I wasn't sure about the bread. It wasn't the right kind. Maybe I should skip the toast and just have the egg whites and grapefruit half? Eating less would be better than eating the wrong thing, wouldn't it? I decided this was correct. I dumped the first egg into the trash. My second attempt at separating the egg was a success.

Unlike yesterday's frenzied dash, today I arrived at the studio with time to spare. My breakfast was the perfect amount: I didn't feel too hungry or too full, and I had loads of energy. Maybe I'd just skip the toast from now on. Egg whites and fruit seemed like the perfect low-carb breakfast anyway, and weren't carbs supposed to be bad? I was actually surprised bread was on the menu at all. Hm.

I walked into the studio feeling confident. I certainly wasn't thin yet, but I was thinner than I had been the day before. I didn't worry as much about what I was wearing. A leotard and skirt was fine today.

I had one leg propped up on the barre and my upper body draped over it when I heard the door at the back of the studio open. I felt that small flip in the center of me, like there was a balloon there, quickly inflated. I looked up.

"Good morning Anna. How are you feeling after your first day?"

"Great!" I said, maybe a little too enthusiastically.

"You're not sore or anything are you?" Hm, how to answer? I wasn't actually, but I was afraid if I said that, she would think I didn't work hard.

"A little bit, but not much. I feel good." That seemed to be the correct answer.

"Good. Well I'll work you extra hard today. Mr. Monroe wants to observe you on Friday. I'll make sure you're ready," she winked. Winked! It felt like that balloon inside me popped. I didn't say anything, just raised my eyebrows and attempted a smile. "Not to worry," Isabelle assured me, "He just wants to make sure I'm covering everything I need to with you. It's actually more an observation of me than of you. Anyway," she continued, crossing to the stereo, "let's get to work."