I Used To Be

Chapter 11

Someone was sitting on my chest. Why was someone sitting on my chest?

Damn, class yesterday must have been rough. Every muscle in my body was stiff and sore. Ugh, I was probably getting sick. My nose was really stuffed up.

No it wasn't. Something was in my nose! Ew, gross, did I try to purge spaghetti again?

I tried to reach my hand to my face to investigate, but it wouldn't move. It was stuck. How was I stuck in the bed?

My eyes opened. I was definitely not at home. What the fuck was going on?

Isabelle. Miliseconds after I took in the harsh lights, heard the beeping, the whooshing, and saw the fiberglass squares over my head instead of the slightly off-white smooth surface of my own bedroom, her perfect face was in front of mine. Close, so close. So this was one of those dreams. I closed my eyes, waiting for the kiss that was sure to follow, but it didn't come. Instead, I heard her voice, sounding worried? Relieved? This wasn't usually part of the dream.

"Anna! Anna, honey, are you awake?"

I re-opened my eyes. Mom! What the fuck was Mom doing in this dream? Okay, this was seriously weird. I tried to move my arms again, but I was still stuck.

Suddenly, I became aware that I might not be dreaming. I started to freak out, and pull as hard as I could. I felt hands on my arms, on either side. Mom was on one side, Isabelle on the other. I looked and saw that my wrists were strapped to the metal frame of a bed. A hospital bed. No. Nonononono. Nutcracker opens tomorrow! I was the Snow Queen! I had to get the fuck out of here, now.

"Help!"

"Anna, honey; it's okay. Nurse!"

Then another face, a large brunette woman in pepto-pink scrubs. Her face was wide and kind.

"Hi sweetie," she said, as she pushed a syringe into one of the ports in my arms. I had those in both arms; several were hooked up to bags on the side of my bed. There was a big clip on my finger and tubes in my nose. It felt like every part of me was connected to a machine or IV. Something must have happened. Something bad.

Then suddenly I felt very, very sleepy. I didn't care anymore about where I was, about Nutcracker, about anything. I closed my eyes.