the beggining

chapter 9

I didn't dare look at him for fear of his reaction.

I could tell that he didn't like my answer because his whole body tensed and his breathing slowed. I shut my eyes tight and looked in the opposite direction as tears swelled in them, threatening to overflow. I tried hard to blink them back but they wouldn't cease. So I took my other option. I fell apart.

"i- I didn't mean to!" I sobbed. "He was just getting mad for no reason, he was overreacting! We both were upset. There were tears and I was embarrassed because he was dominating and my little sister was right there! I didn't mean to knock her picture over! Why couldn't he not have made a big deal about it? The last thing I would have wanted to happen was for grandma's picture to be broken and he should know that!"

My tone was creeping towards hysteria while my volume rose. I could feel Jacob fighting to stand and come to my side for comfort but he was still too weak. He began to whimper when he couldn't come to me.

Artemis wouldn't care either, he had heard my story before and knew how I got while telling it. everyone kept respectfully quiet.

I want them to make noise though, yell at me to shut up, snap me out of my horrid trance. I feel so stupid. The strong fierce dragon shifter, the last dragon shifter of her kind was showing extreme emotional weakness.

Even worse, the weakness was in front of a lower shifter, basically human since he hadn't yet gone through the shifting process. Ugh humans disgusting creatures. Destroyer of earth and out species as well as many other species both non and magical, doom of all life on earth.

Openly sobbing in front of Toby is worse though. I wish he'd say something, anything. He could have said 'you monster get away from me' as long as I knew what he was thinking so I could plan ahead of time for what is about to happen. It might've even been better if he yelled at me and tried to hurt me. That way I would get rid of him and move on. Love means pain, that's what life taught me, If you don't love nothing can hurt you and so far I've been right. That was when I noticed the silence in everything except me.

I couldn't help but wonder what is going through his head? This question brought me back down to earth. I got control of myself and locked the memories in the back of my brain were they were kept for safety. And soon they were trapped and left to fester and boil until the next time something triggered their explosion. My tears began to stop and my sniffling slowed to match my breathing. I took a deep breath, straitened my shoulders and looked Toby straight in the eye

"what are you thinking?" I asked more meekly than I had wanted

There was a short pause.

"come here" he said.

Confused I looked at him. Silent tears begin running down my already tear stained face. I must look horrible. Especially compared to how I usually look. All around my eyes are probably red and quite possibly my cheeks from embarrassment. My nose is running, and my hair is a mess.

He looks deep into my eyes, it was so clear what he meant I thought I heard his voice echoing through the back of my mind. He extended his arms like the message wasn't clear enough already. I eyed him suspiciously, making sure he wasn't holding anything dangerous, then moved towards him with caution hoping this wouldn't make him uneasy. If he is, he didn't show it, his expression is sympathetic and kind. His palms facing each other for the embrace. I desperately want to fall into him and have him hold me, but one particular feeling of déjà vu kept my back ridged and my senses alert.

"something wrong?" if we were in a movie he'd be right on cue

I quickly consider my options. I don't trust him enough to pretend it is nothing and welcome his embrace so my only other option is to explain what is bothering me.