KISMET: Into Love

Chapter Ten: Abandoned

Useless bastard. Those words and all the other words just keep on echoing in his ear, going circles around his mind, creating an empty space in his heart. His once empty heart is becoming emptier. His cold spirit even more colder. He was lost and alone more than he was before.

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- L E V I -

"Huh?" Clio said, a bit startled.

I slowly walked towards her, revealing a little of my self through the dim moonlight.

"Sorry, did I scare you?" I asked.

"What were you expecting?" She said coldly.

I cannot see the look upon her face because the mini garden in front of the orphanage is poorly lighted. But I certainly caught her off guard. Just like the first time I saw her in the clip, just this time a little bit calmer. It's already past 1am when I was disturbed from sleeping by the sound of people fixing things. When I looked from my window, I saw the movie crew cleaning their stuff. I've guessed they were done for today. I had an urged to go out.

As I walk through the garden, I saw a silhouette of a woman, sitting so still and calm on the stone bench in the midst of the garden. She looked so detached from the present time as she stared closely but blankly to the empty space. It was Clio.

I sat next to her in the stone bench, looked up the sky as I answer. "I'm sorry. I've been looking for you."

I saw her lift an eyebrow, "Why?" She asked me.

"Let me rephrase.." I said, "I was hoping to see you."

"Why?" Her expression didn't change though.

"Well.." Tumbling through my words. "I wasn't able to thank you."

"For what?" She asked again, third question in a row.

I smiled to myself and then looked at her, "For sharing your thoughts in my class today."

"Ahh.." She managed to say while titling her head.

She didn't say anything more, she remained quiet as she return her gaze to where it was. I kept silent as well.

"Do you usually do that?" She spoke up.

I raised my head and looked at her. She didn't turn her head. Her eyes was still fixed in the vast emptiness.

"I mean, your sessions." She proceeded. "Your life sessions.." She looked at me but only for a moment.

"Ahh, yes." I answered. Clearing my throat, I added. "I usually do that once a week. You can say it is a sugar coated psychological class."

"Like a fruit flavored medicine my mom used to force me to take when I was a kid?"

I laughed with that. "Like fruit flavored med that is not fruitty!" I agreed in between chuckles.

Clio was laughing, "Not even close."

"You hated them?" / "I hated them!"

I asked, she said at the same time. There were laughter in the air. I was looking at Clio, it was the first time I ever saw her laugh. She used to smile a lot to people and at work but she still looked so reserved. My heart felt a strange warmness seeing that side of her, it was refreshing. The same feeling I have when I'm having fun with kids.

"Your life sessions were fun."

"Thanks." I said as I looked at her smiling, she returned the smile. "I think I sugar coat it well. I mean, not that the kids are in mental despair but surely what they gone through is not easy, being an orphan and all that. It leaves something in their young mind that is not easy to change or wipe away. And mostly, it affects how they view themselves and life. My goal is to change that, even in small ways. Cultivate a mind that believes in life and hopes for better things." I paused, thinking what I'm suppose to say next. Though I'm speaking with all sincerity, I don't want our conversation to center to me and with what I do. I want to hear Clio speak about herself and freely say what's on her mind.

"Do you usually do that?" Clio said even before I speak. "I mean, in your session, there was this bear hug. Do you usually do that?"

I smiled before I answer, "That is mostly my favorite part."

She raised an eyebrow.

"No. It's not what you think." I said sounding a bit defensive. "I mean, yes. We really do that. You know Psychological studies showed that hug plays a vital role in any relationship."

I looked at Clio, her facial expression hasn't change. I smiled as I explain further.

"Studies show that a 20 seconds hug from someone you love produces oxytocin, a chemical in the body that induces a natural trust and affection in our system." I sounded like a mad science-man. "In other words, hug make you trust a person more."

"Makes you trust a person more.." I heard Clio said, almost whispering to her self. "You seem to have an explanation in everything." She added in a clearer manner, half smiling.

"Not really." I said, not noticing a bitter smile that's forming on my lips. I lazily held my hands on the back edge of the bench, putting my weight on it as I look back again to the sky.

"Well, you know. Being an orphan is already a hard thing for those kids.."

"They grew up not knowing where they are from, thus it's harder to know where they should go. If they could really go elsewhere. If they could be somebody beyond the names we gave them. If they could have life after being abandoned by the people that gave them life.. " I paused, the next words felt so hard to spill out.

"Have you.." She suddenly stopped. Not wanting to continue her question, she just breathed out.

I can feel her. And I know what she wanted to know. Thus, I finished the question for her.

"Been abandoned?"

I felt her head turned towards my direction. Me, on the other hand have no guts to return the gaze. I lift my head toward the sky instead, clouds were starting to form in its vastness. And so, along with it came a flood a blurred memories..

. . .

"Get out of here! We don't need you!" A middle aged woman shouted in anger. She was throwing things, clothes and stuff toward the crying boy, out into the door.

"Auntie please.." The little boy was crying, pleading. "I have nowhere to go. Please auntie.."

"After what you've done to Gael!" She shouted once more. "You are just like your mother! Go away, we don't need you here! After all that we did for you? This is how you will repay? You're useless bastard!"

The little boy didn't say anything. Feeling his knees weak in pain, he knelt down into the rocky and dusty ground. Still crying, sobbing. Useless bastard. Those words and all the other words just keep on echoing in his ear, going circles around his mind, creating an empty space in his heart. His once empty heart is becoming emptier. His cold spirit even more colder. He was lost and alone more than he was before.

The lady had closed the bungalow's home for him. Tears and noses where running down as he slowly and weakly gather up the clothes that was thrown on the floor.

He can't stay here anymore. All he knows is that he cannot stay here anymore. His heart feels like bursting with so much pain. He cannot stay here anymore. He cannot stay like this anymore. Standing up to his feet, wiping his face with his filthy bare hands, he tried to suppress the tears that were overflowing. Sobbing and silently bleeding. He cannot stay like this anymore. He held on tight to the few things he has. He cannot stay here anymore. He doesn't know where to go and what to do, all that he knows is that he cannot stay like this and be like this anymore.

Gathering all the courage that his little body has, he slowly turn away from the bungalow. Leaning on to the remaining strength his prickle young heart has, he slowly walk away to nowhere. Somewhere. Anywhere. Just anywhere..

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See you on the next chapter!