KISMET: Into Love

Chapter Eleven : Falling Star

"They don't shine up there. Their light remained in here." - Clio

- - -

- C L I O -

"Have you - - "

I paused. Swallowing back the question I meant to ask, I just breathed out.

I looked at his face, he seems to be weighing things in his mind. I looked away. I know it wasn't just curiosity that made me intrude his past life. It was more of - - what? Envy?

"Been Abandoned?" He finally spilled out, breaking the silence between us.

I turned my gaze back on him. His head where lifted up, as if seeking the answers beyond the clouds that were forming in the sky.

I smiled bitterly. Recalling the past times I spent with him, Levi suddenly felt unreal. He's like a knight in shining armor that got out of a story book. Wasn't there even sadness in him? A bad side or insecurity? I wanted to know. He seems so genuinely kind, his warmness vibrates a positive radiance. He seems to be so good to be true that the image of him almost felt surreal. It overwhelms me. It makes me feel so small. Envious. I never thought that I would feel insecure of a man. But for some reason, I wish I could be like him.

"Yes." Levi answered. He courageously spill out on me while his eyes were looking directly on mine. "I was."

Abandoned. Those were the words that wanted to escape his lips but was pressed back to his throat. I know he want to be vocal about it but somehow, he was restrained. I understood. Looking back to his eyes, I see the glint of sadness trying to take over his bright brown eyes. I suddenly felt guilty for recklessly asking.

"I'm sorry." I managed to say. "I didn--"

"No worries." Levi cut me off.

I can see a bitter smile curving his lips though. He bowed his head, and for a moment he was silent. But it was just a moment. When he lifted his head, his smile - the Levi smile - is back.

"That was before."

I tried to return the smile. Examining the look upon Levi's face. Besides his strong features, I wanted to see something more. Perhaps the kid he used to be but there's no trace of him anymore. In front of me is a man, a learned and able man.

With the poor lighted mini park, I resigned my case. I had the urge to comfort him. To let him know that it wasn't my intention to brought out something painful. But I don't know how. Or if my comforting would be necessary. I really don't know. Aside from the roles and the script I had in the movies, I shamefully don't know how to comfort a person in real life. Nobody taught me how, as much as nobody was.

"You know, where Nemo works?" I asked instead.

"Huh?" He asked. "Nemo, the fish?"

"Yup." I answered, trying to sound more vibrant this time. I was changing the topic.

"Where does Nemo works?"

He smiled at me, "Where?" Asking in equal cheerfulness.

"Where else but in the of-FISH!" I answered laughing at my own joke.

He laughed along with me, "Seriously?"

"You know Nemo's social networking site?" I pressed on, half laughing.

"What?"

"FISH-book!"

"Please don't do that again!"

Laughs. "I know right.."

We laugh as hard together. You know those times that you laugh not only because you find something funny but as a way out of the awkward stillness. This is one of those. We laugh for the pleasure of it until there is nothing left to laugh out loud. We slowly subside and our laughter turns into just simple smiles.

"Geez, that was horrible." I said as I smile, I raised my head to the sky.

Levi chuckled a bit. "That wasn't bad." He said smiling, mirroring my gesture as I look up the sky.

The once starry sky is now covered with clouds.

"Do you think when a person dies, he becomes a star?" Levi randomly asked as soon as silence fell between us. He still have the traces of smile on his lips, only his head was up to the sky.

I looked at Levi, not sure how to answer his random question.

The memory of me and Axel looking at the same sky captured my mind. That was the same question I've asked before. My heart silently crumbled as I remember the way he looked at me that night, those were one of the million moments I treasure in the core of my heart. Memories that I've been living with up to now. Memories that kept me going up until now.

I inhaled deeply, "No." I said smiling softly. The thoughts of Axel still on my mind. "They don't shine up there. Their light remained in here." Gesturing to my left chest. The way Axel would answer it, the way the light and the love of Axe lived and remained in here.

Levi didn't say anything, he just stared at me and then return his gaze to the vast empty sky.

"I guess, I have to go now." I told him.

"Let me walk you back." Levi volunteered.

"No, I'm fine." I refused, "It's just on the other side."

Levi just nodded. But just as I'm about to leave he called out my name.

"Clio, wait."

I stopped and slowly turn to him. "What?"

"I think I forgot something." He walked towards me.

"What was that?"

But instead of answering my question, he gently held both my arms and slowly pulled himself closer to me. Drawing us together in a hug. It was soft and gentle. I was startled, and for a moment, confused. But at the same time, I felt -- I felt very calm and serene. I didn't move. I didn't talk, I just stand there. Feeling a gush of warmness inside my heart.

He then slowly, push himself away. Putting a space between us. I raised my eyes to meet his.

"I -- " He started stammering.

"Uhm." I cleared my throat as I look away, I moved my body sideways, creating more distance between us. "I -- I have to go."

Before Levi could say anything more, I turned my back towards him and started walking away. I heard him let out a deep breath as I go. I sighed along with him.

"Hug makes you trust a person more."  I smiled dejectedly as I remember his words earlier at class, "I cannot.."