Making Me Smile (Damon Fizzy Story)

Chapter 27, Traveling To Florida Without A Buddy

My stay in New York had finally come to an end. I said all of my goodbyes to the band before taking a taxi to the airport. A few fans every now and then recognized me and asked for pictures, which I happily obliged to. Once I would finish taking pictures with them, a few adults asked me who I was and I just simply replied with, "Oh, I'm dating a member in One Direction. You know, the curly one?"

My flight wasn't supposed to leave for another four hours, so I was stuck here. All I wanted to do was go back to sleep since I had only received literally two hours of sleep because I had stayed up the whole night to edit this Friday's video (An old collaboration with Joey that we never really talked about).

Instead of going back to sleep though, I pulled my phone out and began scrolling through my contacts. 'Damon<3' hit my eyes almost immediately and I flinched. Kellin and I had talked a lot about him during the trip because he had mainly been my entire life. I thought about Damon 24/7, I wouldn't do anything without his permission (not that he wouldn't let me, I just wanted to be sure it was a good idea), and I keep fucking pressing the q button instead of the a omfg I'm going to kill a bitch.

'Why haven't I erased his number or at least change his contact name?' I asked myself. 'Maybe because you don't want to let go.'

--

The plane ride home was a bit bumpy because of the turbulence but other than that, it was smooth sailing. I was sat next to an older woman with a baby in her lap that was surprisingly quiet. The baby didn't cry, just whimpered a bit when it needed something. The worst part about the lady was the fact that she'd just whip her breast right out in front of me and start breastfeeding like tomorrow was the day the mill went dry. I was clearly disgusted and even suggested quietly that she should go to the restroom to do her business.

"I'm a woman with child. I can do whatever I want." Was her bitchy reply. After that, I scooted as far away in my chair as it would let me.

The flight had left at 10pm and we were supposed to be landing around 2am because there was a heavy storm over Alabama so there was a bit of delay, but I used this time to just sleep. When the plane had landed, I was just barely waking up. In fact, the jump of the airplane scared me to death and it's what really woke me up.

"Evan!" I said once I had saw him waiting for me by my suitcase bag. He opened his arms and I jumped into him. We embraced tightly and I enjoyed it.

I would never admit this to him, but whenever him and I were apart, I was sad. Like, it physically and mentally put me in pain because of seperation anxiety. This anxiety was a good thing though. In a Child Development class I had taken freshmen year I learned that children grow attached to their caregivers and seperation anxiety means that they feel and cared for whenever they're with or near that person. I also learned that there was no censorship when it came to African ladies breastfeeding their children. Nightmares. It had me in nightmares. (This is a true story OMFG)

"How was it?" Evan asked once we got my suitcase. The two of us got into his car and were almost home when I answered his question.

"It was pretty good. The actress though, ugh. She was such a pain in the ass. Bitch didn't know how to fucking act!" I spit angrily.

"Woah Samm, calm down. You don't like the girl, no need to spit the hatred."

I leaned my head back in my seat and looked out of the window in front of me.

"Sorry. Just tired." I responded.

"Hey, look. I was thinking about it and it's already late. You don't have to go to school tomorrow. I have a free day tomorrow so why don't the two of us just catch up?"

I looked at Evan before opening my eyes wide. He was always the one who said skipping school was bad and how I shouldn't do it.

"Sure. I'm exhausted and tomorrow sounds like a great idea."

"Cool."

The rest of the ride was absolutely silent except for the natural constant ringing in my ears. We didn't get home until about 3:40AM because the airport was around an hour away, but the traffic was oddly heavy for late at night. There were 4 car accidents and the red lights took forever to change to green.

"Fucking hell, I'm exhausted." I stated when the two of us were upstairs in our apartment. Almost immediately I noticed a head of blue hair moving up and down on the couch quietly.

Evan must have saw me looking at Greg because he just placed his hands on my shoulder and guided me to my room.

"Goodnight Samm." He winked before closing the door on my ass.

'Rude and disrespectful.' I said in my head. Walking towards my drawer, I grabbed a fresh pair of panties, a bra, tank top, and basketball shorts. The bathroom was empty so I took a shower to rid myself of airport air and smell. I washed my face with a facial cleaner, scrubbed the top of my head only with Vidal Salon shampoo, and cleaned my body with a body cleanser that had came free with a Ipsy bag I had purchased months ago.

My hair was literally soaking wet but I didn't even care. I brushed it all back -bangs included-into a high pony tail. I got rid of the excess water before grabbing bobby pins to wrap my hair into a bun.

I looked in the mirror at myself for a moment. Acne along my hairline, nose, cheeks, and forehead; that one tooth in my mouth that didn't really get straightened by my braces; and the extra dark roots contrasting against my pale hair.

I was ugly. It was plain and simple. Ugly was a synonym made just for me. Neither of my parents had good looks from what I could remember. (Drugs may have distorted their faces heavily, but still).

I looked closer in the mirror and nearly burst into tears. It was hardly noticeable by anyone but myself. My thighs had been smaller, not as wide and out there. When had that happened?

What had I done to myself? I know I had never been skinny, 6th grade year being the only year I was semi-small.

"Starting tomorrow, you're going on a diet." I said quietly.

And then I laughed. I could never go on a diet. I loved food too much.

"You'll only get bigger." That small voice in the back of my head said. "You'll never be a size 4. Not in this lifetime."

I sighed quietly, agreeing with my own self. Instead of wallowing in my own self pity, I decided to just go lay in bed.

Exhaustion washed over me like a warm blanket. Sighing contently, I pulled the blanket over my surprisingly cold legs.  The warmth was soon trapped underneath and it made my whole body drowsy. I fought back the wave of tiredness before letting my eyelids droop completely.

'You'll never be skinny.' Was my last thought until darkness surrounded me entirely.

--

Wow a chapter on a Thursday?!?!?!?! YEAH I KNOW.

I just finished chapter 30 and oh boy, that one was a doozy. I want it to come now but we have to wait (x that chapter will be out on the 23rd, Saturday, 2013.

I know, filler chapters ugh. Next two chapters are fillers as well, so I'll post those on Friday 15th and Saturday 16th just to get them out of the way.

Yeahyeah you don't care I know.

Bye guys♥

Until next Friday,

:]Samm[: