Rydel stayed silent after those thoughts ran through her head. Ellington on the other hand, didn't notice how silent it got between them. His mind was focused on his mother. How it was his fault.
I never should've let my sight leave Trent, he thought to himself. Rydel stood up finally and look at him.
"I have to go." Her voice comes out as a whisper. Ellington stands up raising raising a eyebrow. Rydel walked out straight into the pouring rain and didn't look back.
Ellington decided that it'd be better for himself if Rydel not being here to not think about her. The time went slowly before he got called back to his mom's hospital room.
"Thank god you're okay." Ellington mumbles sitting beside her holding her pale cold hand. He started thinking of the last time he had ever seen her this pale as a ghost.
He couldn't remember.
~
Rydel stood in the middle of the road in the pour rain, staring up at the dark sky. It seemed like a black hole of never ending room. "Like a shadow and a dancer." Rydel sings quietly to herself then closes her eyes.
Her soggy muddy converses start turning in circles with her body and her hair stuck to her leather jacket. All Rydel felt like doing now was stay in this exact place, time, and not go on.
She didn't know how she could go on with the guilt surrounding her heart. It spread throughout her thoughts like wildfire: death.
I killed Maegan.
I killed Ellington's dad.
I killed my mind.
Rydel lands on the asphalt of the empty road. Tears were starting to mix in with the raindrops down her face, her heart beating into her ears. Her hands go sliding the asphalt causing skin to tear open with red painting her hands. Little knives it felt as this continued.
"I'm- I'm sorry." Rydel whispers to herself as she stops and curls into a ball. Her eyes watched as a light shined in the distance.
Her life flashes as she closes her eyes.
"How do you think we will die?" A twelve year old Rydel asks a eleven year old Maegan as they sit upon her bunk bed playing checkers. Maegan's eyes go up to Rydel with curiosity and thought.
"I think I'll get murdered." Maegan smiles as she moves her checker piece. Rydel stifles a gasp from her lips from shock.
"Why do you-"
"A lot of people hate me, Rydel. I bet I'll push the breaking point for one." Maegan admits and Rydel stays silent, not knowing what to respond. "How will the mighty Rydel Lynch die?" She asks finally.
"Old age." Rydel answers quickly. Meagan sighs and leans against the wall pushing the checker board away from her Doc Martin's. Rydel felt embarrassed for asking such a question to Maegan out of all people.
"I bet you'll die leaving a great legacy behind. There's nothing you can't do that will be horribly terrible. Just be you and it'll be okay. Okay?"
"Okay."
Rydel loses all her strength in that moment and lays flat on the ground with her arms at her side, holding her breath. Her hands swelled each second passed and the rain got heavier.
She could hear the wheels of the vehicle moving against the hard asphalt road and closed her eyes tightly. "I'm sorry."
The lights came in flashes.
_____________________________
R.I.P Christina Grimmie. You will be missed. 💕
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Song: Shadow And A Dancer
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Zayne
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