thu'um / skyrim writings

↳ cicero | my only

[edited]
written for @Yoneeshi

I couldn't quite get my head around the information I had just received. Veezara was lying wounded on the ground, Babette tending his rather deep wound. Arnbjorn was gone, too. But I just couldn't understand why. It was Cicero. He apparently lost it after he overheard Astrid talking disrespectfully about the Night Mother, went crazy, tried to attack her but Veezara got in the way. Arnbjorn had gone off in hot pursuit after Cicero legged it.
Astrid has told me to search Cicero's room for any clues on where he could of gone.
So I could kill him.
But I couldn't, could I? He was only doing his job! He was a sensitive man, after all.
My footsteps echoed in the hallway as I made my way to his chambers.
I poked my head round the door, my hair falling around my face. No one. I snuck in and looked around. Cicero had quite a normal room, a few weapons lying about, wooden furniture, a few plants growing in forgotten corners and a few journals. Wait a second, Cicero kept a journal? Around five actually. Was it a violation of his privacy if I read them? If he knew, I'm sure he wouldn't mind anyway! So I sat down and opened the first book.

After a while, I found my self staring at the last page of the last volume, a silent tear rolling down my (s/c) cheek. I surely couldn't kill him now. He had been through so much: the death of his friends, the constant battle for a safe sanctuary, his freedom taken away by his title as Keeper and worst of all - the slow descent to insanity. I never really thought of him as anything but what he was today - mad with a dark sense of humour. But he used to be sane, a normal man who sold his soul to Sithis long ago.

But I had already spent much too long sitting there already so I quickly replaced his journals and hurried back to Astrid by the pool.

'I think Cicero is going to the Dawnstar sanctuary - I also know the passphrase,' I murmered.

'Good, hurry along there now,' she ordered, 'but please look out for my husband, I want to know if he's alright,' Astrid looked me in the eye. 'Also, take my horse, Shadowmere,' she paused, 'let's just say he's... one of us.' I nodded and hastily exited the sanctuary.

~~

I rode along on Shadowmere through the thick snow, Dawnstar just poking through the dark sky. I held onto the reins as he sped through the darkness - eyes an illuminated red. I raced through the city, not caring what the locals thought as they hastily dashed around me.
I had reached the Dawnstar sanctuary and I hopped off Shadowmere, rushing over to Arnbjorn. He said that Cicero had wounded him (and in turn he slashed him back) and Cicero had escaped into the sanctuary. I gave him a potion of healing and told him to head back to the Falkreath sanctuary on Shadowmere. I headed inside - answering the door with a faint,
'Innocence, my brother.'

~~

I knew Cicero was in here, his worried voice echoing against the walls from a chamber from far within the sanctuary. I slashed, hacked and smashed each ghost that came my way with the help of the Spectral Assassin I was rewarded with after an earlier quest.

~~

After a while, I found myself stood behind a door, listening to Cicero and his muffled grunts and shuffles. I pushed open the door with a loud creak. He laid there on the floor.
I walked over to him, my head down. I knelt down next to him and put my hand on his hat to straighten it.
'Go on,' he mumbled looking up at me with those big, curious eyes of his. I looked away; I couldn't, could I?
'I-I,' I mumbled, sitting down cross-legged next to him, still not meeting his gaze. My dagger clattered to the stone floor, slowly rolling down the step and away from me.

His arms wrapped around my torso, bringing me closer. I could feel his blood seeping through my clothes; I didn't mind. I returned the hug, extending my trembling arms around him. I cried silently into his chest, his gloved fingers holding the back of my head.

'I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry!' I wailed.

'Shh,' he mumbled, his chin resting on my head. Cicero held my chin gently between his thumb and finger, making me look into his face.

'You don't have to tell Astrid the truth...' he whispered into my ear.

✖ ✖

[the dark brotherhood quest line breaks my
god damn heart every time i swear]