The Gift to end all birthdays

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Today is my 20th birthday. My parents said they had a preasant for me. They're rich but they're terrible people. They always "want what's best for me" gag.

My mother called me downstairs. Slowly I got up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I went over by my closet where I have a pull-up bar. I care about being in shape, it helps when I'm chasing my next victim down. Lately I've been driving out of town and killing homeless people. It works.

After doing thirty pull-ups, I went downstairs to see my parents. Mom was all smiley and highly while dad was shooting her looks. "Whats going on?"I asked them while pouring myself a glass of orange juice. Mom say down next to me. She looked at my father and he nodded to her.

She jumped up and ran into the home office. She came back a minute later with an envelope and handed it to me. "This year your father and I decided to get you something you truly wanted.." She said as I opened it up. It was a lease. "We got you a spot for your..hobbies.." I looked at her.

"You know?" I asked her. She laughed a little, "of course we know. Now it has a large freezer, a lot of yard space, any uh..tools you may need, drains in the floors, and of course a fake half of a building to make it look like it's anyother barn in the middle of nowhere.. There's even a furnace just in case.." I couldn't stop from smiling. For once that understood. For once they cared. This was the best birthday ever.

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