I Don't Know

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I woke up with Elle resting on on my shoulder and Tresey sleeping on my chest. Elle had her arm locked around mine and I thought it was cute. I slowly pulled out my phone seeing it was almost twelve. Damn, I'm surprised my mother ain't kick me out. And it was quiet which meant everyone was sleep.

"We staying the night here?" Elle asked with her eyes still closed.

"Nah I'm Bouta go tell them all goodbye now," I say. "Hold her for me."

Elle took Tresey and held her while I ran upstairs. I fell asleep after dinner but I was only able to do that cuz that Jeremiah nigga left. But when I went in my mother room she was up.

"Ma, why you not sleep?" I ask. She had the TV on looking at some black and white movie.

"Can't sleep." She tries to give a convincing smile that only made me worry.

"Wassup?" I ask.

"Your Daddy called me today." She said plainly. Mad shit was running through my head at that point and I felt my blood boiling.

"What he want?" I try not to sound angry.

"To let me know that's he's getting out soon," she said looking away from the TV and her head down. "He'll be back in December."

"So he expect you to hold a spot here for him or something? What he telling you for?" I shoot back. My mothers weakness was that man and I always knew it by the way she spoke about him years after he was locked up. I know she's most likely gonna let him move back in too. But I'm mad cuz I bought this house for my moms, not for him.

"Calm down Trell. I'm not that easy and he didn't ask to stay. He just wanted to see how everyone was," she said with her voice cracking.

"That man did us dirty. When you wanted his support he wasn't there. And shit, we ain't need him. Janaia and I are okay. Why the hell he just checking if everyone is okay?" I paused then looked at my mothers watering eyes. "Ma, please don't go crying."

My mother put her head down and I went over to her hugging her. She started crying softly. "Shit, this the shit love does to women Latrell. If you break that girl heart downstairs, I will personally beat your ass to pieces. You hear me?"

I laugh causing her to smile. "I got you ma."

"Seriously boy. A girls feelings is nothing to play with. If I was a sick woman, I probably would've snapped and killed him," she shook her head.

"I love you ma, I always will. Forget some man." I say as she leaned on my chest.

"I love you to baby. You and Janaia don't ever forget that," she said kissing my cheek. "Get home, I stole Latrese long enough. Take them home, it's late."

"Alright ma, goodnight." I kiss her forehead and she smiles.

"Goodnight baby." I watch her lay back and close her eyes. She fell fast asleep. Then I see the liquor bottle next to her. She was drinking? My mother really must've been hurt with that phone call. Shit, I wish I would've answered.

I went to Janaia room seeing her sleep with the bear I bought her a long time ago. I think I was sixteen and I won this for her when I took her to the carnival. I told her that no boy will ever love her the way I do. I see her sleep with it every once in a while but I don't say anything. Just makes me smile. I kiss her cheek and she smiles.

"Goodnight Trelly."

"Night baby Jay." I leave and go back downstairs. Elle is sleep with Tresey in her arms and I automatically thought about Alicia. I told her I was gonna call her everyday but I'm surprised she ain't call me.

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