Snow is falling and I don't know what I really feel, I give up, every reference is gone...
Footpaths, houses and hills have disappeared... it looked good yesterday
And I, buried under its whiteness, I see myself in the mirror and I don't know what I'm looking at anymore
"I'm scared, but you know," Dan whispers. "I'm happy because I'm able to spend the last night in the world with you"
"You didn't believe in a God or in a heaven since now, now that we're going to die are you hoping for a heaven to exist?" Phil asks.
Dan smiles. "I am not. I don't change my thoughts just because I'm scared, it would be incoherent. If God exists he would never forgive me, and for this I remain with my thoughts"
"You're so Dan," Phil smiles. "It's weird, people outside are running and going crazy and we're here"
"I want to stay peaceful on our deathbed, I want to enjoy this," Dan whispers cuddling into Phil's neck.
"Dan.." he mumbles. "I want you to smile. You didn't in ages, I- please," his voice cracks.
"I do smile, I smile a lot"
"You do, but you're not happy. There's something about you.. you're sad"
"I'm not sad," he says. "It's because this isn't my planet, they're about to find me"
"Who?"
"Nobody," he giggles. "I'll miss you"
I've met your sweet smile with this white snow, now it upsets me along
Snow is falling and the world is falling too, even if it's not cold what I feel now, and remember, remember me: all this courage isn't snow. And it never melts, even if it should
Things which are often said improvising:
If I really fell in love it would be only you
"I'll miss you too," Phil whispers.
"How would I be able to live without you?"
"What are you talking about?" Phil asks and raises a brow.
"Me, in that planet," he smiles. "Without you, with strangers"
"Dan, are you okay?"
"Totally," he says. "I'm just scared, it's not fair. I don't want you to die"
"What are you saying Dan? We're all going to die!"
"Not me," he whispers. "Not now"
Phil bites his lip, Dan is literally crazy. Maybe death is making him crazy.
"Say something," Dan smiles.
"I'm not scared of dying, I'm scared of you Dan. What's happening to you?"
"They just said it's happening in thirty minutes," Dan smiles. "Good"
"Talk to be about them," Phil says.
"They aren't like us, but I'm like them"
"Dan.."
Dan looks into his eyes and kisses him. Slowly. Phil is shaking because he doesn't know what Dan is talking about. Dan was a weird guy but that's too weird for Dan too, he doesn't understand what's happening.
Dan goes away and kisses his forehead, he arrives at his ear and he kisses the skin there. "Forgive me for not carrying you with me Phil, I love you"
"I love you too, Dan," he whispers and caresses his hair. "So much, I'll never forget you"
"Cool, because I have to go now," he giggles.
"Where?"
"I don't know," he says and hugs him. "I don't know"
"Don't leave me"
"How can I? I'm obligated," he giggles. "We're all going to die"
"You said you'll not"
"Maybe not, maybe yes," he giggles. "Who can know?"
The last night in the world and I would spend it with you while I weep tears of joy and I'm the only one, the only one who's able to understand how much it's useless to hate each other deeply in this world!
I've met your sweet smile with this white snow, now it upsets me along
Snow is falling and the world is falling too, even if it's not cold what I feel now, and remember, remember me: all this courage isn't snow. And it never melts, even if it should
"Phil, I'm sorry," he says and he starts to cry.
"Dan," he smiles. "It's okay, don't cry"
"Everything is a mess, I'm a mess," he says and Phil hugs him repeatedly kissing his forehead.
"Everything is a mess but you're not a mess, you're beautiful," he whispers and Dan calms down.
"A-Am I?"
"Of course you are," Phil whispers. "Of course baby, you're so beautiful"
Dan continues to cry in his arms and he sobs louder, Phil can't resist and he starts to cry too.
Not allowing myself to be fine without exceptions, breaking down in front of everyone and then smiling
Love isn't a privilege, it's just ability, it's smiling in front of all the problems... while who hates is trembling
Your sweet smile is so transparent that there's nothing beyond it, it's so simple, so deep that it deletes everything else and it makes the world end
One hour was passed and nothing happened.
"I don't understand, t-they said-"
"It's okay, Dan," he whispers. "You'll be in peace, don't worry"
"If you say so," he says and hugs him. "I love you"
...And it reminds me that courage is not like this snow
I've met your sweet smile with this white snow, now it upsets me along
Snow is falling and the world is falling too, even if it's not cold what I feel now, and remember, remember me: all this courage isn't snow
•
a/n: hey!!
if you didn't understand it Dan is schizophrenic and he's imagining everything including Phil,
sorry
