help //m.c.\\

chapter one

I sat outside in the dark, by myself. Across the street there were a couple boys playing soccer. They looked so happy.
The breeze felt comforting as it blew across my face. I hated being outside because I don't like bugs and socializing with people, but on nights like these, I loved it.
The boys across the street accidentally kicked their ball over to me.
"Sorry, we got a little out of hand." A blonde boy with gorgeous blue orbs said to me.
I smiled and looked down. He picked up his ball and went back across the street. He doesn't remember me.
We practically grew up together. When I was younger, the only friend I had was Luke. I would always be at his house or he would be at mine. We were close until we were about seven. He made new friends and because we were younger, him and his friends all thought I had cooties. He still has his friends from primary school and we were now starting junior year. I had no friends what so ever. The only time he talks to me is outside of school and he came to my mother's funeral. Well, I don't think it was his choice. I didn't even want to go.

When I was born, I had a perfect life. Parents who loved each other, no siblings, a nice neighbor hood, and plenty of attention. But we all know how those are only in the movies. It all ended when I was about four. My mom was diagnosed with leukemia and she was always in the hospital. It upset my father so much that he blamed it on me cause he didn't want to face reality. My mom had always been my rock. I had her to go to with any problems. Now, the only person I have in my life is my dad. And he abuses me because it was "my fault" for my mothers death.

She died on my seventh birthday. We went up to the hospital to go pick her up and take her to the park for the picnic my parents had planned. When we got there, the Hemmings were also there too. Luke, his brothers, and I all played on the playground and fed all of the ducks at the pond. Luke gave me a bracelet as a symbol of our friendship. It had black beads with blue letters that spelled out his name. He also had one with my name on it. His mom had them specially made for us so that they wouldn't break. I still wear mine. There is really no point to wearing it, but I do. I remember all the fun we had that day. Well until it came down to when we had to take my mom back to the hospital because she couldn't breathe. The doctors didn't know what had happened, but she could breathe later on again. My parents didn't yet tell me that this was her last day with us. She passed sooner than planned. The last thing she said to me was, " Don't let the assholes bring you down. Prove people wrong and show them you can be the person you want to be without them pressuring you to be what they want you to be. Teegan, I love you. Remember that." Yeah, real inspiring, I know.

She was a down to earth person and her personality was just so lit and I miss her so much. Everyone said that I always have looked like my mom. I have her long brown hair, big dark brown eyes, same thick thighs (it runs in the jeans), and the same dimples. I have my dad's music taste. I have never actually liked my dad. Luke's dad has been the only father figure I've had in my life, well, when we hung out. Luke was one of those friends who constantly wanted to hang out and I was okay with it. When we hung out, we always were outside. If it was raining, we would put our swim suits on and jump in the puddles. We always had lemonade stands so we could save money for more lemonade. His brothers would always make fun of us for just saving the money for lemonade, but to be honest, it was stupid. I haven't used any of the money. I have so much more now. I'm saving up to leave this hell hole one day.

"Teegan!" my dad yells from inside, " Get your motherfucking ass in here right now!"

Ugh, I just want to sit in peace for once. I walk into the house and am immediately knocked to the ground.

"Where the fuck have you been?"

"I was just outside calm down."

He slapped me across the face and chugs his beer or whatever the fuck he had in his hand.

"I fucking hate you." he growled at me and walked back to his chair to watch TV. Great, more bruises to cover up before school. Great, school. I laid on the ground for a little while until I got hungry and wanted to eat something. I looked down at my phone and wasn't surprised when I saw no notifications. It was 3 in the morning. If I went to sleep, he would yell at me for not doing what he asked, which was to die. I walked over to the fridge and opened it to find three twelve packs off alcohol. Oh, how surprising. We had some mayonnaise, some old shit in Tupperware, and pickles. What the actual fuck? How am I surviving? I have no clue. In the cabinets we have cherry pop tarts, ravioli, noodles, spaghetti sauce, popcorn, and some dishes. He needs to go shopping. I grabbed some pop tarts and walk into my room and plug in my phone to my speakers. I hit shuffle on the music and the first song to come on is Heart-Shaped Box by Nirvana. I plop down onto my bed and sigh. Ugh, my life is so fucked up.

Sleep is the number one thing on my mind right now. My bed is so fucking warm already like fuck, screw school. I want sleep.