help //m.c.\\

chapter thirty-four

Michael was hogging all of the blankets and I was freezing. Trinity was laying on the couch with like seven blankets. I scooted closer to Michael and tried to feel his body heat, but he was too snuggled up.

"Michael? Michael, let me have some of the blanket too. I'm cold." He didn't move. I shoved him a little.

"Mikey, wake up. Please give me some of the blanket." He groaned when he realized I was waking him up.

"What do you want Teegan?" He was still in his same spot, but his head was peaking out just a little bit.

"I'm cold. Cuddle with me." He smiled and gladly took me in.

"Jesus! Your feet are freezing. Get them off of me." I giggled and hid my face in the crook of his neck.

"Warm me up. You stole all of the blankets and left me to die." He smirked and rolled over so that he was laying on me.

"I know what can warm you up."

"Well, this seems to be working."

"I know what can make you hot and not want the blanket." He started kissing my neck.

"Mike, the boys are in here."

"That means you'll have to be quiet."

"Michael, I'm not having sex with you while we are in a room full of people." He bit my ear lobe.

"But baby."

"No means no, Clifford. Sorry." He sighed, but his lips still stayed connected to my neck.

"Can we make out instead? I'm not gonna be able to fall asleep soon, so why not waste time."

"You're such a dork." I grabbed his face and connected our lips. They were always so soft and he knew what he was doing. The one thing that I loved the most about when he kissed me, was how gentle he would be. He would treat me like I was fragile and he didn't want to break me. He tangled his hands in my hair and kissed me harder. Because he could sing, I wouldn't be able hold my breath as long. He could take it like a champ. Mike pulled away and he had a hold of my lip. This boy was hot as fuck. He started kissing down my jaw and back onto my neck. He stuck to one spot and I'm sure he left a mark. Liz would be the one to notice it, with my luck.

"Shit." I gasped. He chuckled and came back to my lips. He flipped us over so that I was now on top of him. I sat up so I could move my hair and continue sucking his face.

"Goddamn, babygirl, you're so fucking hot." He put his hands on my sides, under my shirt, and trailed his fingers up and down my skin, tickling me a little bit. I put my hands on his cheeks and looked in his eyes. They are a perfect green, but they were slightly darker than what they usually are.

"Kiss me already, dammit!" I gigged as he got impatient. I leaned down and kissed his fore head, then his nose, his left cheek, right cheek, and I laid my forehead on his. He smiled at me and I hovered my lips over his. Right before I kissed him, I licked his nose just to tease him.

"Ew, you're nasty."

"Oh whatever." I kissed him.

"You guys are so sappy and cute at the same time. Its disgusting." I looked over to see Ashton sitting up in his spot on the second bed. I crawled off of Michael and laid down.

"You're just jealous."

"Are you guys a thing yet?" I looked at Michael. I hadn't even thought about that. Ashton laid back down and we ignored the question.

"Goodnight, babygirl. I love you."

"And I love you."

When I woke up, Michael and I were tangled up together. He was on top of me, but my legs were over his. I brought my hand up to his face and rubbed his cheek with my thumb. He had a hold of my other hand and his grip was tight. My bracelets were making my wrist sweat and they were stuck to my skin. I wanted to take them off, but I know I shouldn't. Everyone was still asleep and I didn't know what to do. I ran my fingers through his hair a couple times before he groaned, telling me he woke up. His eyes fluttered open and he smiled at me.

"Good morning Mikey."

"Good morning beautiful." He kissed me for about ten seconds and pulled away. Mike got off of me and started to get up.

"No, don't leave me! You're warm." I grabbed his arm and attempted to bring him back.

"But I have to pee. My bladder is going to explode."

"Make sure you come right back." He left me and I reached for my phone. When I picked it up, my case was gone. I had Twitter notifications and a couple follows on Instagram. Some girls had tweeted photos of the boys and I guess they started a hashtag of a ship name for Mike and I. They were indecisive and some of them were Tichael and the others were Meegan. To be honest, I liked neither. I don't know why they were even making one because we weren't dating. I wish we were.

"Teegan? Can you come here real quick?" I didn't want to get up, but I wanted to see him. I walked into the bathroom and Michael was leaning against the counter.

"What?" I leaned against the door frame and he just looked at me, but he looked hurt. He held his hand out and I saw light reflect off of the slightly dulled metal. Oh shit. I opened my mouth to say something, but closed it and looked down. I was afraid to look back up. I didn't know what to expect from him. He grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him.

"Don't lie to me, did you use this?" I couldn't look at him. He lifted my chin up with his finger, trying to catch my eye.

"Teegan, did you use this?" I felt a couple tears fall down my cheek.

"Did... Did I make you do it?" It wasn't his fault. I was stupid to even do it. I was just scared, confused, and in so much pain that I didn't know what to do.

"It happened that night, didn't it?" I nodded and he let go of me and turned around. I could tell by the way his back muscles were moving he was trying not to punch something. He was pissed and upset. And it was, of course, my fault.

"Let me see them."

"What?"

"Show me what I did to you."

"Mike, you didn't do this-"

"Show me goddammit!" Before he turned around, he ran a hand through his hair. I started peeling off my bracelets and just dropped them. There were my six, slightly faded cuts, that I oh so desperately wanted to cover back up. I heard him gasp a little bit, but he covered his mouth. Once again, he turned around and leaned against the counter. He shouldn't have to feel this way about me. I scooted closer and rubbed his back once, until he pulled me into his chest. He squeezed me so tight, like he was never going to see me again. He grabbed my wrist and kissed all of the cuts over and over again.

"Please, please don't do this again. Especially if I'm the cause. I don't want to see any more of these anywhere. Wait, do you have more? Oh god, what did I do?" He gripped his roots and got down on the floor.

"Mikey, it wasn't your fault and the others are from a long time ago. Those are nothing to worry about."

"Can I see them?" He looked up at me.

"They, um, aren't on my wrist."

"Then where are they?" I ran my hands up my thighs and he grabbed a hold of my waist and hugged me.

"Will you please show me?" I nodded hesitantly and started to unbutton my jeans that I had slept in. I pulled them down to my knees and my thighs were so white. The only color there was, was my stretch marks and faded scars. They weren't as thick as the ones on my wrist, but they were still deep. He kissed my thighs and pulled my pants back up and stood up. He grabbed my face and kissed me hard.

"Throw it away." He put the blade in my hand. I walked over to the trash can and he shook his head.

"Flush it. I don't ever want to see it again." I dropped it in the bowl and pushed down the lever. It disappeared with the water. Mikey backed me up against the wall and picked me up. He walked to the bed and hovered over me.

"I love you babygirl. If you ever need something to talk about, just tell me. I don't want to see any more cuts ruining your perfect skin." He kissed my wrist again.

"I love you Michael."

"I love you too."

"Don't add 'too'. It sounds like you are just agreeing with me."

"Well in that case, I love you." He kissed my forehead and smiled.