This Love - Emblem3 FanFic

"Happy new year, Ella"

New Years Eve

(Part 2)

"So I'll pick you up in an hour?" Wes asks as I get out of the car.

"Mhmm, I just need to talk to Jordan really quickly" I say quietly.

I was stunned. That's all I could really describe this as. I didn't know what to do anymore, I was so sure I was going to be able to do it but looking into Wes' eyes I lost all train of thought and chickened out.

"Ok, you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah," I say forcing a smile into my face. "Just some sibling stuff we haven't resolved"

Luckily Wes didn't press for more answers, instead he just waved goodbye, backed out of my driveway and left just as quickly as he came.

I walked up the front porch steps simultaneously fiddling with my keys to unlock the front door and wiping fallen tears away from my cheeks. It took me a lot longer than usual to open the front door making me frustrated. When the door finally opened I slammed it behind me. I stood in the front foyer eyes closed. Hands bundled up in my hair. Tears streamed from beneath my eyes. I didn't sob just let them fall as if they weren't even there.

"El?" I heard Jordan's familiar voice from the top of the stairs. I regret closing that door so hard. As soon as his voice hit my ears I broke. I fell to my knees, letting the cold feel of the tiles hold them there. My hands threatened to pull out my hair and my silent sobs had turned into loud blubbering. I had definitely left this all in way to long.

Jordan sat beside me. He wrapped his arms around me whilst pulling me into his lap. My tears soaked his shirt in no time. He was muttering soothing words while smoothing down my hair.

After what felt like hours I had somewhat calmed down but Jordan was still holding me like I was 8 again.

"What's wrong El?"

"I can't do it," I blubbered into his shirt "I can't break him"

"Shhhhh shhhh shhhh" Jordan whispers has my sobs become louder again.

"He's perfect, he doesn't deserve to be let go" I whimpered.

"And you don't deserve to be held back" Jordan says into my ear.

I cried for another ten minutes at least before I finally looked up at Jordan. His eyes were closed.

"I should go get ready" I say standing up. Jordan opens up his eyes and gets up too. I turn to walk up the stairs when Jordan grabs my wrist "Look Ella, despite what happened this afternoon just play this one right, you don't have to break him. He'll understand. He'd want you to go study more than anything"

I give him a slight smile and then I continued walking up the stairs to my room. Wiping my eyes on the way. I still had to do it. Wes has dreams and I have Dreams and we both know they don't really work hand in hand.

I texted Wes to let him know that I'll go with Jordan to the restaurant. He texted back with a simple

"Okay <3 xx"

but that heart was a sympathy heart. He knew that something was wrong but he knew not to press me on it.

I hopped into the shower letting the hot water massage my skin. I drew little symbols and shapes on the steamed up windows and when I finally became bored of that I got out. I was careful to keep my hair dry as I didn't have that much time to blow dry it.

I put on a loose dark blue dress that stopped at mid thigh and had gold band around the waist. Not real gold of course. And then me being me slipped on a pair of my beloved converse.

When I had finished with my hair and make up I grabbed my purse with all my things and headed downstairs. Jordan was tapping away on his phone waiting for me. He put his phone in his back pocket when he sensed my presence.

"Figured you wanted a ride" He said.

I realised I had cancelled on my ride without even asking Jordan if it was ok for him to take me.

"Thanks" I say quietly.

We drive to the restaurant in almost silence. I wasn't mad at Jordan or anything. I was far from it. I just was too lost in my thoughts to be able to keep a conversation going.

As we walk into the restaurant I see everyone laughing and smiling. I gulp. Jordan places a reassuring hand on my shoulder as we sit down at the table. Wes kisses my cheek causing me to blush. Jordan sits down at the very end the seat furthest from me. I frown and I instantly don't feel protected anymore. I guess Wes felt my uncertainty because he placed his hand on my leg but he kept it there in that one place by my knee.

It doesn't take long for me to become lost in my own thoughts. It doesn't help with Wes not doing anything wrong, I've always tried to pick out his flaws but trust me it's like mission impossible.

"What do you think Ella?"

My head snaps up from my plate at the mention of my name. I hadn't even realized that I had completely zoned out. I have hardly touched my food and looking up at everyone I realise that I was probably not paying attention for a very long time.

"Hmm?" I reply not entirely sure who was asking me the question. It could very well have been Becca but I'm not sure.

"We were gonna finish up then go to the pier to watch the fireworks. Are you ok?" Becca says. Ahh so I was right, it was Becca.

"Yeah I'm totally fine. That sounds great I'm already so full! Great dinner!" I lie.

Everyone looks at me. What did I do?

"But Ella, you've hardly touched your food" Becca says.

I look down at my plate and see not even half of its gone. "I..." I start but quite frankly I don't know what to say.

"She came home from her date with Wes and started eating everything in the cupboard. She's probably pregnant" Jordan jokes causing everyone to laugh. I shoot him a thankful glance.

"I'm the dad right?" Wes leans over and whispers in my ear.

I playfully punch him. "I'm not pregnant you dummy"

Wes laughs. "Good" then he kisses me and the way his lips fell upon mine made me feel like just for three seconds, there was nothing in the world to worry about but then those three seconds ended when his lips left mine and reality came crashing down again.

Wes and I left the restaurant hand in hand. The walk down to the pier wasn't long but we walked in silence his hand never leaving mine.

"Are you ok babe?" Wes asks breaking the silence.

"In all honesty, no" I sigh.

"Are you gonna tell me what's wrong?"

I close my eyes. I feel the tears reaching the surface of my eyes.

Remember when you were a little kid and things never easily upset you. The only time you would cry is when your older brother wouldn't let you play with him and his friends. You never had to make decisions. You never had to leave anyone. The only person you could ever love to the ends of the earth were your mum or dad or both and the only thing that could hurt you was a bee sting or falling off of your bike and getting a graze down your side. Oh how I wish I could be six again.

As we near the crowed pier I stop not wanting to tell him in the presence of others.

"We need to talk" I try to say without my voice cracking. Wes' eyes go wide-eyed. I grip his hand so hard he must've been losing blood circulation. I just never wanted to let go. I never wanted to say 'I miss my hand in his hand'.

We sit down on a metal bench on the pier that looks out to the ocean in its night form. Wes takes off his jacket and drapes it around my shoulders. I am thankful because quite frankly I'm freezing. I should've worn a cardigan or something.

"Don't you ever just feel like jumping in the water and swimming and just keep swimming forever" I say closing my eyes and letting the sea air hit me.

"All the time" Wes says.

I sit with my hand in his. The tears haven't quite spilled over yet but thankfully my breathing is normal. I don't say anything I just smile to nothing.

"Wes.." I begin, my hand tightening around his even more. "I'm... Uhh... Moving.." I say trailing off at the end.

"Where?" Is all he says.

"To Princeton.."

"Yeah but that's not for months"

I shake my head. "This morning... I uh got a call from them and they want me to start sooner.."

"How soon" Wes' voice cracks.

"January twelfth" I say with my eyes still close. I slowly feel Wes' hand loosen its grip on mine and very slowly the tears begin to fall.

"Oh"

"Yep.."

We sit in silence with only the sound of the waves crashing on the shore in the background.

"Wes.. I love you. More than anything in this world. And I never want to hurt you, but I know that if I stay you'll never forgive yourself for letting me stay, but at least if I go," I breathe. Tears spilling from my eyes, "You can love someone else just as much as you love me now"

"No--"

"You can't come with me Wes. You have a new life in L.A now. You're on the road to being a star. You're on the road to being something you've always wanted. I will not get in the way of that" I say as strong as i can.

Wes' hand slowly keeps losing it's grip on mine and I can't do anything to stop it.

"Long distance--"

I cut him off "Long distance relationships never work out Wes, you and I both know that, I can't put you and I can't put myself through that"

None of us say a word because we knew what was going to happen next. I take in a deep and silent breath. I listen to the waves crashing on the shore. It's simplicity relaxing me.

"We're breaking up aren't we?" Wes says. His words cut me like a knife except this pain would hurt more.

"Are you mad at me?" I squeak.

Wes' hand leaves mine and he wraps his arm around my shoulders pulling me to his chest. "I love you Ella."

I can't help my sobbing. I just let it all come out because the one thing I wanted right now was Wes and the one thing I know I shouldn't have is Wes because it would just kill me more when we finally left each other.

"I love you" He whispers.

"I love you"

"I love you"

"I love you" He continuously whispers in my ear.

I grip his jacket pulling him closer to me. "I love you so much" I say through tears.

He kisses the top of my head and silently rocks me in his arms.

We must've been sitting there together for over an hour because we finally hear a booming voice of some speakers announcing there is a minute to go till midnight. I sit up with my makeup probably smeared all over my face. Wes wipes his hands under my eyes and clears it all away.

"You look better without makeup anyway" He smiles.

I chuckle a bit but nothing is funny to me right now.

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6" We hear people cheer.

"Happy new year Wes" I say looking into his eyes.

"5, 4, 3"

"Happy New Year Ella" Wes says looking back into mine.

"2, 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Everyone shouts along with the fireworks being let off.

Wes crashes his lips to mine. I kiss him with so much passion. I kiss him like I've never kissed him before. I tangle my fingers in his hair but most importantly I pull him as close to me as possible because I know that this kiss, will be the last.

~~

A/N: THIS IS NOT THE END! I REPEAT THIS IS NOT THE END! I HAVE ABOUT TWO MORE CHAPTERS AND THE EPILOGUE!

But i cried whilst writing this believe me. Im so sorry but this had to happen i am so sorry.

I love the song on the side and i think it goes well with this chapter. >>>

I have nothing more to say im just going to cry :'(

I love you guys xxx

~Kiri