When I read and finished the Harry Potter series, like most people, I found myself tangled with an existential crisis. I had this constant how-will-I-go-on? and what's-the-point-in-living? Bull shit that had me up all night for days.
I thought about everything that happened; all the conflicts and how they were resolved. I thought about what could've happened and what should've happened.
Right now though, Finn Harries seems to be taking Harry Potter's place in my mind. Lately, every free moment is corrupted with thoughts of Finn: his hair, his smile and those fucking eyes. Oh, my god.
With Finn, I also thought about what happened and what could've happened.
I couldn't stop my brain from thinking of every aspect of him. I contemplated about the littlest things: the way he likes to cuddle way too much when he has jet lag; the way his nose wrinkles the slightest bit when he's struggling to articulate something; the way he always likes to take weird photos of everything.
So yeah... you get the drift. I cannot get an ounce of sleep!
Some days, I just end up pacing around in my bed room going 'Are you fucking kidding me? It's 2:47am and you want to start going down memory lane?! Die brain, die!'
To remedy this, I recently discovered that if I tire myself to shit and then drink cold medicine to give it a bit more of a push... I would indeed die automatically and wouldn't get resurrected for at least 11 hours.
"Go deep fry your brain right now or I'll do it for you. Are you out of your fcking shit woman?!" Tyler had said when I slipped about this.
He didn't warm up to the fact that I spent almost every day at his new L.A. place, to help him finish unpacking. He insisted that I was practically making him 'an accessory to the crime' and that if I actually die from exhaustion he would have to assume into hiding.
The succeeding days after that, he took it upon himself to annoy me to death just to find out about my deal.
There wasn't a structured point to it though. We both knew 'the deal' which he so far, hasn't mentioned. He just kept dancing around the obvious. Totally fine by me. He didn't want to remind me as much as I didn't want to be reminded.
"It's been what? 3... almost 4 weeks now. Have you went out at all except to help me sort out my DVDs?" he gave up on attempting to push a box into the corner of his furniture-less living room and just sat on it. We were nearly done for the day and I'm sure we were both resembling horses about to keel over from dehydration.
I expelled the urge to correct Tyler at his feeble attempt to subtly remind me of Finn's absence because no, it hasn't been a mere 3 weeks... it has actually been 3 weeks, 2 days, 13 hours and 36 minutes since that L.A.X. plane he was on took off for the U.K.
but hey, who's counting right? Ahehe ahe.
Damn it.
"No" I said; wiping the bullets of sweat that covered my forehead "I have a lot of work. Fashion Weeks are coming up everywhere"
I ended my statement there; telling Tyler my boss is shipping me off to London for a feature article would just throw him back into scheming and such.
"Oh really?" he seemed genuinely interested "I hope you get in the really good shows. Where were you assigned anyway?"
"I'm not sure yet... but I leave tomorrow evening. Drive me?" I slid into my question slowly; mentally cringing at my lack of lying skills
"Sure, but... wait, you leave tomorrow and they didn't even bother to brief you?" his brows drew together "Your boss sure is a bitch"
