Veronica

Awkward Moments

I make it home and realize my parents aren't home just Chad. What the fuck is up with them coming home late? Are they attending big dinner events or some shit. I make my way upstairs and see Chad open his door.

"There's food downstairs if you're hungry." I looked at him and did a slight a smile. I shook my head. I'm not really hungry at all.

"What did you eat then?" Chicken alfredo with a side of sex. What about you? I just shrugged my shoulders. I mean none of your business. I see him look me up and down and take in every inch of me. I feel like he's solving me and trying to figure out every inch of me.

"Wowww that quick?" I look at him confused and cross my arms. God he looks so sexy right now. I lick my lips and stick my neck out at him.

"What are you talking about?" I manage to say and he comes near me. I hope he plans to keep his distance. I would really appreciate if he does. If he doesn't keep his distance I might lose my breath and who knows what else could happen. I don't think my precious kitty can take anymore beating for the day.

"You found somebody to fuck you that quick." my tongue ran over my teeth and I shrugged my eyebrows. It's really none of his damn business.

"I mean it's none your business, but if you must know, yes I found someone to fuck me." He takes some steps back kind of stunned. His facial expression just says stunned. Why is he so shocked? I can play the game just like him it's not that hard.

"What? You fucked the teacher?" I could tell he was joking, but somewhere he knew deep down that's what I did. He tries to laugh to make it into a joke. I just stare at him and I don't say anything. I look down at the ground. All of a sudden I can't breathe.

"You didn't?? What the fuck Roni?" I look at him and all I can see is shock and hurt in his eyes. Why would he be hurt? He did just throw me to the side like I was nothing. All of sudden he wants to stop what we were doing when I try to tell him we shouldn't catch feelings. He puts his hands on my shoulder.

"Are you really that stupid?" No..... He..... Did.... Not.... Just..... Say...... That. I push his arms off of me. I push him away from me.

"Fuck you. You're the one who wanted to stop the shit we were doing, so fuck you. I'm just doing what you do. Except I can count all the people I've fucked on one hand. Can you? Can you Chad? Can you count on one hand?" I saw his anger rise and I waited for him to explode. I saw his fist clench and he punched the wall luckily he didn't leave a hole.

"This isn't about me RONI! It's about you and the dumb choice you're making. You can leave me out of it." He began to walk away and I grabbed his arm and pulled him back to me. He removed his arm from my grasp with all his force which made me stumble back a little.

"Don't walk away from me Chad. It became about you once you found out I was fucking someone else and that someone else wasn't you. REMEMBER... YOU wanted to stop. YOU.... walked away from ME and you can't even tell me why? Tell me why? Look me in the DAMN FACE AND TELL ME WHY?!?!?" I know the answer, but I don't want to believe and honestly I don't want to hear. It's a scary thing to face.

"Was I not good enough anymore? What, you wanted to sleep in my bed? What, I was just used up and so you retired me?" He looked at me and grabbed my arm and I pulled away and he kept doing it.

"No it wasn't any of that Roni." I kept trying to get out of his grasp.

"WHAT WAS IT THEN?!?!" I felt the tears starting to spill out and I finally got out of his grasp as he kept trying to touch me. He just looked at me and he couldn't even tell me. Why can't he tell me? I know it isn't that, but I have this little feeling it could be that or what if he was tired of me.

"Fine then... Don't tell me. You don't have to worry about talking to me, touching me, and guess what? You don't have to worry about my damn affairs because I'll be fine." I walked away and slammed my room door. I wiped my face. Ughhhh... I hate crying. My heart hurts over him and I honestly don't know why. What the fuck is this feeling? I don't need him in my life. I was able to function without him and I can do it again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I woke up to a beautiful Saturday morning. The only thing that wasn't beautiful is I didn't have Chad by me. I've become so used to him being by me that this feeling was just so unknown. It was the feel of loneliness. The feel of guilt I guess. The feel of something I didn't want to name.

I get up and open my room door to go to the bathroom. Only to see the bathroom door closed. Why? Why must someone occupy this bathroom? It's my mother most likely. I stand to the side of the bathroom door frame and wait.

I really have to pee. Whoever is there is trying to give me a bladder infection. I would use the bathroom downstairs, but I'm too lazy to walk. The bathroom door opens finally. I stand straight up only to face Chad. What the heck? Can he just for once put on a shirt. No one cares to see his his glistening six pack abs. Maybe I care a little bit. I look him up and down and finally meet his eyes which have been staring at me the whole time.

"Hi." He says smoothly with no hint of nervousness. He just has this whole pretending thing down pact.

"H-Hi." I clear my throat and look away. Totally smooth Roni. That was just completely smooth. I'm nervous and this interaction is awkward. I push my hair back and look at him.

"Can you get out the way please I have to pee." I laugh awkwardly and he steps out quickly saying 'Oh' I quickly close the door and I'm finally able to breathe. The weirdest interaction between us ever. I use the bathroom making sure I pee, brush my teeth, and wash my face before leaving the bathroom.

I make my way downstairs and I have this sudden good feeling inside to make breakfast for everyone. I take out the eggs, bacon, and every ingredient I need. I'm thinking of making some French toast and bacon. Hmmm sounds like a good Idea. i take out the bread and butter. I start to put the butter in the pan and let the stove heat it up. I do the egg mix with vanilla extract and cinnamon. I do the dipping of bread and begin to cook it. As the french toast cook, I cook the bacon and make some eggs.

Everything is done as soon as Frank and my mother come down the stairs.

"Mmmm that smells good Roni." I smile at my mother and Frank. They both sit at the table. I go back to making them a plate. I turn around to see that Chad has joined the table. I hand my parents their plate and look at Chad.

"Ummm do you want a plate? I know you haven't had an appetite lately." He looks at me surprised. What is this surprised shit? It's like people don't expect me to be nice. I'm not an evil bitch all the damn time.

"Yes please and thank you." I nod my head and I begin to make him a plate and myself a plate. I walk to the table and hand him his plate and I sit next to him because I don't need Frank and my mother questioning why I decided to eat in my room. I'll just have to endure the closeness for now.

"So Chad and Roni we need to discuss something with you." Chad and I both put are forks down at the same time. I sit back in my seat and wait patiently. God please don't let this be another lecture on grades and school and distractions and blah blah blah blah.

"Your mother and I are leaving for a little romantic vacation together. It's just for two weeks and we'll be leaving sometime next week." Is that it? Can I go back to eating? Two weeks alone in this house with Chad. What could happen? I don't know Roni maybe you end up strangling the man.

"We really need you two to be responsible and to not skip school and throw a house party or something wild like that." awwwn my mother is so sweet. She's so passive aggresssive ugh.

"Okay." I heard Chad say and he went back to eating. I'm surprised he even said anything. God these weeks will definitely be awkward probably worse than today.