Veronica

She's Gone

I walk back into the house and it's 3am I think Chad is spending the night at Lisa's I don't know. I walk upstairs and I honestly am not falling.

"Roni!" I hear a whisper yell and I turn around to see Erin with a smiling face. I walk back down the stairs and I wonder why she's up so early. I stand infront of her. She hugs me and then let's go.

"I'm leaving Roni. It's time for me to go." I smile and then I think about Chad. I look at her and she holds my hand.

"Chad will be fine. I need you to stay by his side. It's time for me to embark on my next journey." I smile again and I hug her one last time. She begins to opens the door and grabs her bag.

"I'll meet up with you later in a different country." I laugh a little and she looks back at me and smiles. She waves bye and closes the door silently. I hear her car start up and fade into the distance. I walk up the stairs and head into my room. I take off my jumpsuit and I use my makeup wipes to wipe off my lipstick. I climb into bed and think about the talk I had with Erin. I don't know if Chad would ever want to go with me. That's probably something he doesn't want.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I wake up to the smell of breakfast being cooked. I swear my mom can I cook. I get up and I put on some shorts and a t-shirt. I walk down the stairs and to the kitchen. I kiss my mom on the cheek.

"Goodmorning Veronica." I smile and I open the fridge to pour myself some orange juice. Frank enters the kitchen and gives my mom a kiss. I sit at the table and Frank looks at me confused.

"What?" I smile and he pauses for a moment.

"Where's Chad?" I hear the door open and I point back towards the front door. Frank shakes his head and sits down. Chad comes into the kitchen with his bow tie un tied and his hair messy. Then I realize I have to tell him. I look at him and he does a quick smile.

"She's gone." I see his facial expression change and he looked at his feet. Frank sighs and sits back in his seat shaking his head. My mom puts a plate of food in front of my face and I begin to eat the eggs.

"Where is she going?" I look at him and shrug my shoulders.

"She didn't say?" I put my fork down and look at him.

"No. I didn't ask." He looks around and looks back at me clearly upset. I wait for him to explode.

"You had the last conversation with my mother and you didn't care to ask." I saw him step forward and I stood up and came towards him.

"All she said was that she was embarking on her new journey. Why would I ask her if all she does is move? It's not like she is going to stay in the same place." I see him move around before looking back at me.

"YOU COULD'VE ASKED HER!" I've never really been yelled at by Chad and I was taken by surprise.

"AND YOU COULD'VE BEEN HERE!!! You know she would've left at any moment so you should've been prepared or have come home early." I sit back down and start to eat again and I see him leave the kitchen and go upstairs. I begin to eat again and I can feel everyone's gazes on me. I look up and I look at my mother then at Frank.

"He'll be fine Roni. It just emhurts everytime." I look at Frank and nod my head.

"I know." I'm the first person who would know about a person coming in and out of someones life. I know and I understand. I instantly start to feel guilty because I probably would've reacted the same way. It hurts a lot, but you learn to move on and forgive and hope that one day you'll see them again.

I sigh and I excuse myself. I go upstairs and I open his door. He has the headphones in his ear listening to the same song whenever he's upset. I close his door and sit on his bed. He takes his earphones out and looks at me.

"I'm sorry Chad. I probably would've reacted the same way if not worse. It hurts I know. Everytime they leave it's like they cut the same wound open again. You have to learn to forgive her and move on. You'll see her again and you know it. It may not be soon, but it'll happen." I see him nod his head and he looks out his window.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you. I think days of built up anger just came out." I roll my eyes he's going to be mad at me forever. He's so damn irritating sometimes. He can't just let go and feel. He always has to have an answer and sometimes you just don't find an answer.

If he would stop being upset over little shit then it wouldn't be built up angerm if he would just talk to me it wouldn't be built up anger. He blames everyone around except himself.

"You know you tend to do this thing where you blame everyone else for your problems instead of looking in the mirror and seeing that you could be the cause of your problems." He looks at me and scrunches his eyebrows.

"No I don't." I pierced my lips and I heard him sigh. He knows I'm right. I feel this anger start to build inside of me as he smiles down at his phone and just ignores this conversation.

"Why the hell are you messing with Lisa?" He looked up at me and smirked knowing that him messing with Lisa pisses me off. He knows he's pressing a major button.

"Because I want to." I crawl towards him and smile. I can see him get uncomfortable as I stare him down. I slapped him and He looks at me slowly.

"I know I'm fucked up and I fucked you over, but one thing you can do is not fuck Lisa and fuck someone else." I get off his bed and I walk out his room and slam his door. I walk to my room and close my door. I begin to pace back and forth. What the hell? Because he wants to. He wants to my ass. Fuck him man just fuck him. You already did that Roni. My God I'm talking to myself. I look at myself in the mirror.

I just need to clear my head. No, I just need to sit down and chill. I need to be to myself. I need to wash my hair actually. That will definitely distract me. I grab my argan oil conditioner because I don't use shampoo. I head to the bathroom and turn on the faucet in the sink.

I wet my hair and begin to put the conditioner on my head. I massage my scalp and I bend down to wash it out. I need this deep conditioner so much. I put more conditioner in my hair and massage again. I feel a pair of hands massage my hair for me. I honestly was getting tired. I see the condioner leave my hair and I turn off the faucets. Someone hands me a towel and I put my hair in it. I stand up straight to look at Chad.

"Thank you." I begin to walk and I feel his hand stop me. I look at him and he stares.

"Listen, me and Lisa we click. I mess with her because she gets my mind off of things." I look at him and nod my head in understanding. I understand I really do. It feels good to have people you can go to that takes your mind off of things.

"I understand." I smile and I walk away to my room. I see him follow me and I wonder why. I grab my almond oil and he walks up to me and takes it.

"Sit." I do as he says and I sit on the bed. I put the towel from around my head and put it in my hamper. He comes behind and sits on his knees on my bed. He begins to place the almond oil in my hair and he massages my scalp.

"You don't have to do this." I want him to understand that he doesn't have to do it. He kisses my cheek and I feel his chin on my shoulder.

"I want to." as much as I get mad at him I can't say he's never been there for me. He's always been there for me. I try to be there for him I can't say I always have.

"My mom used to rub my head whenever she came and I would fall asleep. Whenever she left I could never get any sleep." I smile at the memory and I look at him.

"That's beautiful.... Chad she's only gone for now. You'll see her later in life. Be patient." He nods his head and goes back to massaging my head.