Veronica

Easy

I open my eyes and somehow I find the strength to get my ass up. I walk to the bathroom and wash my face and brush my teeth. I get into the shower and wash myself clean. I get out the shower and head to my room. I close my room door and I let my hair air dry. I get the clothes I was going to wear to school yesterday and I put it on. I get my shades and my jean jacket and I throw it on.

I go downstairs and I make myself some cereal. I sit down and begin to eat. I look at my phone and go through Instagram and all of Denise's notifications. Her and Daniel are just so cute. I see Chad walk into the kitchen and he makes himself a bowl of cereal.

"You look upset?" I look at him and do a quick don't-fuck-with-me smile. He nods his head and I just rub my head. I finish off my cereal and put it into the sink. I walk out the house and down to my bus stop.

It arrives and I hop on. I can become so bitter quickly and I don't like being this way, but shit changes you. We arrive to school and I meet up with Denise and Daniel.

"Rough Roni today?" Daniel pokes my side and I hit his hand. I glare at him through my shades.

"Fuck off Daniel." He laughs a little and I grab my things. Denise kisses my cheek. Why do they love to touch me when I'm not in the mood?

"Get off of me you beautiful creature." She laughs at me. Daniel and her kiss bye. She joins my side and we walk to the classroom. We sit in our usual seats and I put my foot on the desk and begin to play with my nails.

"Goodmorning class time for attendance." He begins to call names very quickly. I just sit back and try to zone him out.

"Veronica Miller." I don't say anything. I just raise my hand and he looks up and looks at me. I turb my head to the side because guess what he can just stare at the side of my face like a dumbass.

"Here and back with the attitude." I hear him mumble and I just stare at him.

"Back with the Hypocrisy." He looks up at me as if he didn't expect me to say shit. I don't hold my tongue because that has never been my strongest point. Denise reaches over to grab my hand.

"The Sun isn't shining take the shade off." I scoff at him and stare. I lick my lips and smirk.

"If it doesn't shine on the truth why would it shine in here?" I take the shades off and he stares at me. He does his best to not show emotion. He knows what I'm coming for. He continues on with the attendance.

He quickly gets into the last lesson of the year and I just zone him out. Why would you even talk smart when you know I could possibly know about your engagement? I mean make that make sense to me.

I get attached and you can't even be honest. What the fuck is up with this man? It's so easy for him to pretend as if everything is fine and it pisses me off. Everything about this man pisses me off. I can't do this, I just can't. I get up and head for the door.

"Where you going?" I keep walking. I don't have time for this bullshit and these games.

"MISS. MILLER!!!" get to the front and I open the door.

"FUCK OFF!!" I slam his door shut and I head into the bathroom. I stand in front of the mirror and I begin to cry.

It's so easy for people for people to prentend as if they have no connection with someone. So easy to forget about someone you love and just cheat. It's so easy to just walk back into their lives. It's so easy to give someone the ride of their life. It's so easy to do all this shit. One thing it's not easy to do is open the fuck up and tell me the truth. It's so hard to give ourselves. It's so hard to actually have a genuine soul connection with anyone. It's so damn hard. I'm just like any other girl. I want love, I want to be accepted. I want all of these things and I keep saying to myself go get it, but I never can because of fear.

Mr. Andrews was so easy to get attached to. The charm and boldness. The way he made you feel special. I kick one of the stall doors. I'm just so pissed. It's so damn easy. I'm easy. I'm just a complete slut who is easy. I don't belong to anyone and I never will which is fine I don't need to feel like a dog anyway.

Chad wants me, but he contradicts himself by whoring around. That really shows me that you want me. Everyone thinks they know us and how we feel and what we think. They don't know us and they will never ever know us.

I'm such a bitch, I'm such a slut. Even though I can count all the people I've fucked one hand, I fucked all these people within probably a few weeks. I gave myself a two week break, but still I'm a slut. I don't mean for happy place to be in the bed because I can't just be naturally happy. What's life? This big ass game where people screw each other over. A game where no one is loyal because too many gorgeous goddamn people walk the earth. Life is the big lesson that no one wants to hear. Life is where no can stay in my life and love me. God... This shit hurts so damn much. I begin to cry even more and I don't know what to do.

I hear the bell ring and I quickly wash my face and put my shades back. I walk out the bathroom and head to my 2nd hour class.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

I head inside the house and I see Angel and Chad laughing and chatting. Chad looks at me alk worried.

"Why are you so upset?" I look at him through my shades. I know Angel is his bestfriend and I am cool with that, but she does a little too mich flirting for my comfort.

"Why are you so happy?" I go upstairs to my room and I close my room door. The word of the day was easy because everything is just so easy. School work is easy, I'm easy, these men are easy, seduction is easy, and this whole life thing is just completely easy. Chad walks into my room and I look at him.

"Is knocking so fucking hard for you people?" He closes my door and stands against it.

"A little hypocritcal don't you think?" I give him the middle finger. I rub my head and I look at him. Why is he still in here.

"What's wrong with you?" I look at him and then I look away. I feel tears beginning to fill up my eyes. One spills out and he sits down on my bed looking at me. I look at him and smile slightly.

"Everything is just so easy." he looks confused, but I say nothing else.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I go downstairs to eat and everyone is chatting it up with eachother and I'm in complete misery. I eat silently and just listen to their laughter.

"Roni, are you okay?" I look at Erin and smile sweetly. Her and Chad were close now and I'm happy about that.

"I'm okay Erin. I just need to sleep." my mom looks at me with a worried expression. I take a sip of my water and continue eating.

"Are you sure baby because you've been dragging around for awhile? The house doesn't have the same joy and vitality like it used to when you were cheerful." I scoff and laugh. I look at her she's sweet. I love my mom honestly.

"I'm not the heart of the house mom. I'm sure it's just as alive." I continue eating and there was silence before conversation started back up again. I excuse my self and go upstairs in my room. I don't want to bring down the energy of the room.