valdez/lazaro

the saddest kind

short drabble based on a poem.

they say the saddest kind of sad, is the sad that tries not to be sad. You know, the kind where we act like we're okay but we're not? that kind.

den walks slowly with alyssa to the arrival area of the airport. They had just gotten back from doha and she would be lying if she said that she was relieved to be back home. she wasn't.

after playing with alyssa again on the court, it was as if time replayed itself. if she closed her eyes long enough she swears it was like they were practicing at blue eagle gym, it was as if nothing had changed, and then suddenly when she opens her eyes she was struck with a cold feeling that this was her new reality, this was her new life.

being back home meant going back to reality. it meant being away from alyssa again. the taller one would be busy with endorsements and business meetings and all that crap, also there was the fact that she was going away to Europe for a while, that sucked. Although she knew she had no hold over her, not anymore. They ended as soon as they began, both too naive to really realize that they were in love back in college. now, all den could do was watch as alyssa's life flew by without her. It wasn't all bad though, she liked med school, and seeing alyssa happier and more successful was nice. I guess you could say they lived happily ever after,

separately.

"finally." she hears alyssa say from beside her as they approach the conveyor belts. "-home sweet home."

"you mean, finally kiefer." den teases as she tries to keep her eyes on the moving belt and not on alyssa's. she couldn't look at her straight in the eye.

"besh naman." she replies shyly.

They say the saddest kind of sad is the sad that tries not to be sad. You know, when sad bites its lips and tries hard not to cry.

"Deny deny ka pa." den chuckles as she lifts her huge maleta off the platform. alyssa is instantly there to help her, as always.

sooner than den would have liked, they're outside the airport and kiefer is right there with a huge lopsided smile on his face and a big bouquet of flowers in his hands. den doesn't expect to find LA since she had told him not to come, nothing personal but she wanted a little bit of time with alyssa before she was faced with the fact that wait, iba na pala ang jowa niya.

alyssa looks at her, as if asking permission if she could run into kiefer's arms, and of course she nods. what else could she do? hesitantly she untangles her arm out of hers, flashing her a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"it's okay right?" alyssa asks her again, just to be sure.

they say the saddest kind of sad, is the sad that tries not to be sad. you know when sad tries to bite it's lip and not cry and smile and go "no it's okay, I'm happy for you?"

that's when it's really sad.