Arranged Bonds

Chapter 14: Baby Steps

I'm still in shock as we leave the clinic. Twins? I know I have twin sisters, but twins are rare in wolves.

The pack is gathered at the back door, awaiting the return of their Alpha and his Luna.

Senna grabs my hand as we walk by, silently congratulating me. He doesn't mention that I'm bearing twins and I wonder why. Twins are sacred, so most packs have a huge celebration. I shrug it off for now and follow his lead towards the kitchen.

He's cracking open a beer, the first I've seen him drink. He's smiling at me and before I know it he has me trapped against the counter as his lips descend upon mine. I can taste the sip of beer on his lips and I lick them clean, moaning in delight as he tangles his tongue with mine. I hear the clatter as he sits his bottle behind us and uses his hands to softly caress my belly.

Our lips are smiling together and his next words, whispered against my cheek, have my eyes misting over. "Thank you, Wren."

I'm pressing my head to his chest, listening to his heartbeat. I can feel the happiness inside him start to cloud over just the tiniest bit. He thinks I don't notice as he presses his lips against my mark, but i do, and it hurts that he doesn't feel that he can share his pain with me.

---

I spend the rest of the day with Rose and Senna while Nox is busy with his Alpha duties. Rose is due in a month or so now, so she's been trying to keep off her feet. Neither of the women mention the Lillian incident as we continue our talk of baby names.

Senna found out that she is having a little boy. "I swear, Griffin is starting to drive me insane with the names he comes up with! And guess what his favorite name is? Theodore! He wants to nickname him Teddy. He's insane I swear." Rose and I start to laugh when said horrible baby namer comes into the room with a glare towards us women.

"Well, her names aren't all that great either." He's grumbling as he hands us each a glass of fresh lemonade.

"What's so bad about Gage? It's perfectly normal."

"Who in their right mind would name their child after an ear accessory!" They are glaring at each other, but I can see the love in their playful banter.

"Oh shut it-- oh and grab us a bowl of fruit while your at it! Baby Gage is craving mangos today." I can't help but to burst out laughing along with Rose. These women have become my family these last few months and I'm grateful to have them in my new life.

When Griffin is gone, Rose speaks up. "You aren't really going to name him that are you?"

"Of course not, I just like to get on his nerves. He's so easy to tease."

We smile at each other and continue to talk the afternoon away. The fruit bowl that was discreetly placed in front of us is the first thing I've been able to keep down, so I enjoy it to the fullest.

"So, do you have any names in mind?" Rose is curious and I can tell Senna is too.

"I'm not sure yet, it's hard to choose. I might go into town and buy a baby naming book."

"Oh, I have one you can borrow." Rose says with her familiar warm smile. "Besides, I doubt Alpha Nox will let you leave the premises carrying his pup. Alphas can be that way."

I groan in frustration. Great, I hadn't thought of that.

"With two on the way it's going to be worse then! I bet he won't let me leave the house!" I'm rollin my eyes.

Both women grow silent at this and their sadness feels familiar.

I can't let it go this time. "Nox was acting the same way earlier. Happy, but sad. I thought twins were a sacred gift, but you all act like it's a dirty word."

I'm feeling really emotional now and my tears are falling down quickly. There's a huge knot of worry in my chest and Rose is the first to take my hand. "It's not my place to say, Wren. You have to speak with the Alpha about this. I'm sure if you ask he will open up to you. It seems like you have gotten closer recently."

"But he won't even let me in his mind! He always shuts me out.." I'm crying wholeheartedly now and I can't seem to stop. Senna is rubbing my shoulders in a comforting gesture, trying to support her Luna in her time of need.

Griffin is here now, Nox right behind him. The next few seconds are a blur as Rose hands me off to my concerned mate. He's carrying me now, walking us swiftly to our bedroom and I'm still crying.

"What's the matter, Wrenley?" He's sitting on the couch, me on his lap.

I clutch the collar of his shirt and burry my face into his neck, smelling our scents, trying to calm myself. He's running his fingers through my hair, down my back, over our baby's. He's in my mind again, because I can't seem to get my words out.

He's sighing. "Little bird, please don't be upset with me. I don't want you to feel like I'm upset about the babies." I answer him in my head.

Rose and Senna seemed so sad when they found out, but they wouldn't tell me why and you can't seem to open up to me. You are in my head constantly, you know my every thought, you know all the things I treasure, but I don't know anything about the things you obviously hold dear.

He holds me close, takes my scent into his nostrils. He doesn't say anything for what seems like forever before he finally starts to whisper into my shoulder.

"I've been searching for my Twin." His truth is accompanied by a heartbreaking sadness that seems to overwhelm the both of us and I don't interrupt as he continues.

"It's my fault he's gone... Beatrix... He was in love with her and I knew that, but I was going through a hard time. I hurt him deeply."

He pauses for a bit before steeling himself to continue on. "I know I haven't told you anything about Lillian, but I didn't want to hurt you." His voice trembles. "She was human and we were in love. Everyone knew and advised against it. I should have listened. I should have stayed away from her." I can feel his deeply rooted pain and rest my hand softly against his heart, trying my best to give him comfort.

"I got her pregnant. Twins." I can't look in his eyes. "It was too much for her body. Beatrix tried the best she could to help, but Lily was weak to begin with. We lost the baby's, stillborn. I lost her the next day." His shoulders are shaking. I wrap my arms around him.

This powerful man has suffered greatly and my tears have begun anew, leaking out in great waves of sorrow. His arms wrap tight around our babies, around me, taking in the comfort I'm providing. "You don't need to tell me anymore." 

He doesn't listen and his arms squeeze me softly as he continues on. "Beatrix was there for me. I knew she was meant to be my brothers. I knew he wanted her, but she was there and I took comfort in her body. He could never forgive me, he could never forgive her, so he left and I haven't seen him since. The only reason Beatrix and I were still together when you arrived... Was because I smell like him and I couldn't deny her that. I was only trying to comfort her."

My breath hitches as I voice one single question. "What's his name?"

He pauses,

one breath in,

One breath out.

"Huxley."