Arranged Bonds

Chapter 15: Plans

A/N: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's been voting. It really encourages me to keep writing! This is the first time I've actually published a book and I wasn't expecting to even get as many reads as I have, so thanks everyone and don't be afraid to leave comments. :)

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Frozen.

I'm looking into Nox's eyes and I'm frozen. He's holding me close, afraid I might leave. I'm just afraid to tell him what I know.

I think he can feel that I have something to say, but he doesn't try to pick it from my brain like before. He's waiting patiently just like I did for him.

"Hux..." That's my first word. "How long has he been gone?" I've started to form sentences now. I'm scared of his answer.

"... 3 years now."

I inhale a big breath. I'm not sure I should tell him. He speaks again. "Griffin said you saw him. That day you went shopping. He was in the diner, but he ran when he saw Senna and Griff. That's why I left for so long, I wanted to find my brother. That's why I wasn't here for you those first couple of days into your heat." He's spilling his words out now. He's letting me know that he cares for me with these explanations, that it's not just the pups. He's proving that to me now.

He kisses my neck, a soft caress. "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you."

I wrap my arms around his neck, pull his hair into my fingers, run my nails against his scalp. He's groaning his pleasure and I let my head fall to his shoulder, trying to spill my secrets. Secrets that could hurt him.

"I know him." I don't want to look in his eyes, see the pain. I can already feel it. "Hux, he lived with us, with my family, for a while. Two years. He was like a brother to me... He left, he said he wanted a new start. We didn't stop him. We didn't question him. That was his decision to make..."

Nox is the frozen one now. Nox is the one trying to speak, trying to form sentences. "He..." A pause, "He... Was he in pain?"

I don't know if I should continue, but I do. "He was, for a while. After that he was drinking all the time. I don't think he felt much with the alcohol in his system. That's why we didn't question him when he said he wanted a new start. He's a good man, a good wolf. Sometimes we would sit out in the middle of the woods together. We didn't talk much, just shared in each other's company."

"I think... I'm the reason he left. He must of known that I was deciding on a treaty with your pack, that I would accept. He knew I wouln't say no, if only for my Alpha duties." It hurts to hear this, but I can't say I accepted for anything other than my own duties.

I want to help him. I feel this overwhelming need to sew a patch over the tear in his family. "He'll talk to me. If you can find him again, he won't run from me." I'm sure of this.

"I don't want you to do that. Who knows how he would react to you mentioning my name. You have to be careful now. The little ones shouldn't be put into stress any more than they already have." He's patting my belly, trying to keep me out of this.

"I can be the bait then. I could tell in the diner that he wanted to talk to me. He only left because of Senna and Griff. I won't mention your name. I will only act as a lure." My plan seems perfect to me, but Nox isn't biting.

"Let's just leave it for now please? I don't want to think about it anymore." I'm looking into his sad eyes. They seem a little dimmer now, but I don't mention it. He has a hand to his head, his head is aching.

I don't bring it up again, but I have a plan already formed in my head.

---

I'm taking a bubble bath now, relaxing in the warmth. Nox had to leave. Something about the south of our territory being breached. I don't worry. I know that the Blackwood pack has strength, has power.

It's Tuesday today, so Evie and I will be setting the table together soon. She really enjoys that small connection with me.

I pull on a comfortable, striped cotton dress. It's stretchy, so my small bump is visible. I want to show the pack how proud I am to be bringing the future alpha into this world.

If I were human, I wouldn't be showing at this point, but wolf pregnancies progress a lot quicker. In fact, we give birth at six months instead of nine. Having two baby's inside me is just another factor to add to my expanding waist.

I don't bother with shoes and I pull my hair into a top knot. I'm hoping that Nox will feel proud that I am willingly showing off his mark.

It's quiet as I make my way downstairs, which is odd. Considering the size of this pack, it's usually pretty rambunctious around dinner time. I see Senna in the kitchen mashing a bowl of potatoes.

"Hi sweety, are you feeling better now?" Her eyes are smiling. She's up to something.

I lean against the counter opposite her. "A lot better actually." I'm still nauseous, but the crying fit is over.

"That's good. Do you think you could go grab Rose for me? I think she's lounging on the back porch."

I follow her request, but when I make it to the back porch I'm bombarded with congratulations. Nox is in the middle, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth and I rush to give him a hug. "You told them?" I'm so happy, it's overflowing and I know he planned this, that there was no breach to the territory, that it was an excuse so he could do this for me.

He's nodding his head. "You were right, you deserve this celebration." He's tucking the loose strands of hair away from my cheeks, kissing my forehead. 

I don't say anything. I just let myself enjoy the attention this pack is providing me. There is drinking and dancing and marshmallow roasting.

Nox has me sitting in front of the fire to warm my toes. He's behind me, a leg on either side of my body, holding me to his chest. He's feeding me marshmallows and I'm able to keep the sugary sweetness down with the help of his comforting touch. His hands are sticky and we're laughing together, but as I take his thumb into my mouth and suck, the laughter is gone, replaced with a slow burning desire.

That night, he doesn't fuck me, he loves me deeply, kissing every inch of my bare flesh as he thrusts into me with a practiced ease. I hold on for dear life because I know that he's starting to make his way into my heart, burrowing until he's planted there deep, making me realize how much I would do for him. How much I'm going to do for him.