Friend Zoning Alfie Deyes (Zalfie)

Explosions

Tick tock goes the clock 

And all the years they fly 

Tick tock and all too soon

It is time for me to die

I slip on my headphones, hands pale and shaking, my nails stubs. Looking in the mirror across from my bed, I see a pale and gaunt girl, with barely any hair. Her eyes shined, once upon a time. Her cheeks were pink, her hair long and ombré. Now I see an alien. A ghost. A being torn apart by a terminal illness. Shakily, I hit the "play" button on my IPod, and the heavenly voice of Ellie Goulding fills my ears. 

You trembled like you'd seen a ghost

And I gave in

I lack the things you need the most, you said where have you been

You wasted all that sweetness to run and hide

I wonder why

I remind you of the days you poured your heart into

But you never tried

I've fallen from grace

Took a blow to my face

I've loved and I've lost

I've loved and I've lost

This part of the song has basically explained my life in the past year. 

Explosions...on the day you wake up

Needing somebody and you've learned

It's okay to be afraid

But it will never be the same

It will never be the same

You left my soul bleeding in the dark

So you could be king

The rules you set are still untold to me and I lost my faith in everything

The nights you could cope, your intentions were gold

But the mountains will shake

I need to know I can still make

Explosions...on the day you wake up

Needing somebody and you've learned

It's okay to be afraid

But it will never be the same

And as the floods move in

And your body starts to sink

I was the last thing on your mind

I know you better than you think

Cause it's simple darling, I gave you a warning

Now everything you own is falling from the sky in pieces

So watch them fall with you, in slow motion

I pray that you will find peace of mind

And I'll find you another time

I'll love you, another time

Explosions...on the day you wake up

Needing somebody and you've learned

It's okay to be afraid

But it will never be the same

When I die, I want my memory to live on. I want my Youtube to stay, my blog, my Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram. I want them all there, to give people hope. I want people to know, that even though I'm not there, I'm behind them no matter what. I never want them to give up hope, no matter how bad their situation is. Tears stream down my cheeks as Ellie's voice belts out the last few lyrics. This song is keeping me sane. As well as Alfie. He visits as much as he can, yet can still manage to upload weekly content. To me, he is perfect. I hope he thinks the same of me.

---Alfie's POV---

"These last few tests have shown us that the cancerous cells have spread. The chemotherapy and radiotherapy are having no affect. I'm sorry to say this, but Ms. Sugg will not be getting better. She has approximately 1 week before she leaves us", the doctor tells me gently. Tears drip down my cheeks. How can someone so beautiful, so kind, so perfect as Zoe be dying? It's not fair! What has she ever done? The tears turn into sobs. "Any special requests?" The doctor asks me. I wipe the tears off my face, nodding. "I want to marry her".

---Zoe's POV---

I can't stop smiling as Tanya applies the last few bits of make-up to my face. "Ready?" she asks. I nod. She goes out, and returns a few seconds later with Alfie, a vicar, Jim, my parents and most of the Youtube crew. After a few minutes of religious shit, the vicar says, " I now pronounce you husband and wife!" there is a few minutes of cheering, tears and crying, and I feel like the luckiest girl alive.