Tick tock goes the clock
And all the years they fly
Tick tock and all too soon
It is time for me to die
I slip on my headphones, hands pale and shaking, my nails stubs. Looking in the mirror across from my bed, I see a pale and gaunt girl, with barely any hair. Her eyes shined, once upon a time. Her cheeks were pink, her hair long and ombré. Now I see an alien. A ghost. A being torn apart by a terminal illness. Shakily, I hit the "play" button on my IPod, and the heavenly voice of Ellie Goulding fills my ears.
You trembled like you'd seen a ghost
And I gave in
I lack the things you need the most, you said where have you been
You wasted all that sweetness to run and hide
I wonder why
I remind you of the days you poured your heart into
But you never tried
I've fallen from grace
Took a blow to my face
I've loved and I've lost
I've loved and I've lost
This part of the song has basically explained my life in the past year.
Explosions...on the day you wake up
Needing somebody and you've learned
It's okay to be afraid
But it will never be the same
It will never be the same
You left my soul bleeding in the dark
So you could be king
The rules you set are still untold to me and I lost my faith in everything
The nights you could cope, your intentions were gold
But the mountains will shake
I need to know I can still make
Explosions...on the day you wake up
Needing somebody and you've learned
It's okay to be afraid
But it will never be the same
And as the floods move in
And your body starts to sink
I was the last thing on your mind
I know you better than you think
Cause it's simple darling, I gave you a warning
Now everything you own is falling from the sky in pieces
So watch them fall with you, in slow motion
I pray that you will find peace of mind
And I'll find you another time
I'll love you, another time
Explosions...on the day you wake up
Needing somebody and you've learned
It's okay to be afraid
But it will never be the same
When I die, I want my memory to live on. I want my Youtube to stay, my blog, my Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram. I want them all there, to give people hope. I want people to know, that even though I'm not there, I'm behind them no matter what. I never want them to give up hope, no matter how bad their situation is. Tears stream down my cheeks as Ellie's voice belts out the last few lyrics. This song is keeping me sane. As well as Alfie. He visits as much as he can, yet can still manage to upload weekly content. To me, he is perfect. I hope he thinks the same of me.
---Alfie's POV---
"These last few tests have shown us that the cancerous cells have spread. The chemotherapy and radiotherapy are having no affect. I'm sorry to say this, but Ms. Sugg will not be getting better. She has approximately 1 week before she leaves us", the doctor tells me gently. Tears drip down my cheeks. How can someone so beautiful, so kind, so perfect as Zoe be dying? It's not fair! What has she ever done? The tears turn into sobs. "Any special requests?" The doctor asks me. I wipe the tears off my face, nodding. "I want to marry her".
---Zoe's POV---
I can't stop smiling as Tanya applies the last few bits of make-up to my face. "Ready?" she asks. I nod. She goes out, and returns a few seconds later with Alfie, a vicar, Jim, my parents and most of the Youtube crew. After a few minutes of religious shit, the vicar says, " I now pronounce you husband and wife!" there is a few minutes of cheering, tears and crying, and I feel like the luckiest girl alive.
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Friend Zoning Alfie Deyes (Zalfie)
FanfictionZoe always thought Finn was the one. But when new kid Alfie Deyes steps in, everything goes pear shaped. But will Zoe ever find love again? Triggers: Domestic Violence, self harming