Too Bad to Die [The Outsiders fanfiction]

6. Damnit, Johnny

Stuff is getting real, just saying~

They say time passes fast when you're having fun. Dally wasn't sure if that was true or not, but he knew that his life was flying by awful fast now that he had friends. And- this made him want to throw up- he thought maybe he cared about them.

Caring was a mountain. Dallas had been at the top, above it all, for so long, but his foothold had fallen out under him and suddenly he was only holding on by a ledge. Slipping. For him, caring was like death, and he wasn't ready for either.

His new gang were the closest to friends he'd ever had. He hadn't counted on them being more than burnout hoods. Darrel was going to go to college. The Curtises had parents- not just 'mother' and 'father' but real parents who cared about them and fed them right and loved them. Two-Bit's dad had left but his mom wasn't gone. And Steve was close enough to Soda that it was like he was in their family, though his own situation wasn't ideal.

The truth was, he felt comfortable around them in a way that he hadn't felt in a long time. He slept on the couch of the Curtis house more than he liked to admit, and one time, Mrs. Curtis had even bailed him out. She told him not to tell anyone. "Don't thank me." She said, as he opened his mouth, unsure of what to say. "Listen, I know you think you're tough and all that, but I think you're a good kid, deep down. We get worried about you sometimes, Dallas. You're a good kid in a bad situation, and if you ever need help, you can go over to the nearest phone booth and give our house a ring, okay?" She'd taken a nickel out of her pocket and handed it to him. "For emergencies."

He'd never thanked her. But a gnawing sensation had started eating the walls of his stomach that day, a kind of wanting he hadn't known since before he'd been arrested the first time. He saved the nickel. He didn't use it to buy cigarettes or beer. And he tried to be decent to Darry and Soda and Ponyboy, just in case.

Now he was fifteen. He'd been with the gang for a little over a year. Every day he broke at least three laws. He'd been stealing cigarettes again. And Johnny Cade had a dimple in his left cheek, right under a bruise.

"You want a cig?" Dally said. He leaned lazily against the side of the park's fountain, a pack already in his hand.

"Uh-" Johnny looked up at him, a question in his face. "You sure?"

Dally struck the match on the concrete of the fountain.

"I'm talkin' to you." He said.

He lit the cigarette.

"It's your cigarette." Johnny said with big eyes.

"Damnit Johnny, just take it."

Johnny stuck out a tentative hand and Dally placed the cigarette between his fingers. Johnny smiled. His dimple showed.

Dally threw the first match in the fountain and lit another one. Soon he brought a cigarette to his own lips. The two smoked in silence for a few seconds.

"Can I have one?" Ponyboy said from Johnny's other side.

"Buy your own damn cancer." Dally said and took another drag. Johnny shot a sympathetic glance in Ponyboy's direction. "I ain't made of money."

"It ain't fair, Dally. You gave one to Johnny."

Dally said nothing. He sat impassively, his lips forming an 'o' as he blew out smoke.

"You ain't fair, Dally."

Ponyboy crossed his arms.

Johnny stretched out his arm and held out his cigarette to Pony. "You can have mine," he said, "it's okay."