Hotel California (Dean Winchester X Reader)

Hurt

You stood there, dripping wet, shivering as you wondered what to do next. You could pretend you hadn't heard anything, acting as if everything was okay. Just to spend your last few moments with him before he left you behind with the trash.

But in your heart you knew you couldn't do that. No matter how much you wanted to pretend everything was okay, you sucked at acting. You knew the moment you went back out into that room, you would look at Dean, and he would notice something was wrong. 

Not knowing what to do, you sniffed back the tears, hoping things would look a little better once you were dressed, with make up being your armor.

You ruffled through your bag, finally settling on a simple, but classic summer dress you had packed. You weren't usually the type of girl to pick dresses over jeans. But you wanted to look your best, to make Dean see what he was tossing away. It was pure white, something you tried to stay away from, due to your somewhat clumsy nature. But your Mom had forced you to pack this one, saying the white went wonderfully with your skin tone. It had slender straps above a sweetheart bodice, that flowed down to just above your knees. You had to admit it was beautiful, and it gave you a sense of confidence you were currently missing.

You fluffed your hair out, letting it dry in waves across your shoulders, before applying some make up to hide the fact that you had been crying. Glancing into the mirror, it seemed like a stranger was staring back at you. Gone was the every day simple girl who dressed in ripped jeans and t-shirts. In her place was a broken woman, a woman trying to hide behind her appearance. You didn't like it, but you weren't sure what else to do.

"Y/N, are you ever going to leave there? Your breakfast is getting cold!" Dean yelled from the other side of the door.

"Coming!" You yelled back, amazed at how calm and collected your voice sounded. Because inside you felt as if you were shaking. As you had dressed, you had come up with a plan, a plan that had you shaking in your boots.

Grabbing your bag, you took a deep breath before opening the door. Stepping out, you dropped it near the door, before turning back towards the main part of the room. You could feel eyes on you, and raising your own you saw all three men staring at you. It was the gaze of one man in particular that you wanted. Dean was glancing up and down your body, his look hungry, as if he hadn't eaten in days and you were a nice slice of pie. His gaze powered your bravado, and you strutted towards him, your dress floating smoothly around your body.

"Wow Y/N, you look amazing," Sam complimented you, earning a glare from his brother.

"Thanks Sam," you replied, before leaning forward and taking your coffee from his hands. 

"Any special reason you're all dolled up?" Dean asked you, stepping closer, his tongue unconsciously slipping out and licking his bottom lip. You followed the movement, your throat drying up. 

"This thing? It was just one of the last things in my suitcase," you told him, which was partly true. You walked around him, perching on one of the chairs before grabbing a bagel from the container. 

Sam looked between you and Dean multiple times, a smile slowly growing on his face. "Listen Dean, Cas and I need to head downstairs for a minute. Check something out."

"We do?" Cas asked, not getting Sam's rather obvious hints.

"Come on,"  Sam ordered Cas, pulling him from the room. You chuckled as the guys left, amazed at how socially awkward Cas was.

"What are you laughing at?" Dean asked you, still standing in the same spot. It seemed like your outfit and demeanor had thrown him off of his game, and he wasn't sure what to do next.

"Your friend Cas. He seems like an interesting guy to be around," you told him, as he finally moved and came to sit in the chair next to you. Both of you took a sip of your coffees, the silence more than a little unnerving. 

"So about that," Dean started, as he set his coffee down, and your heart immediately seized. Here it was. "I've been wondering. Where do you see this going?"

It hadn't been how you expected this conversation to start, but at least he was giving you a chance to speak for yourself. "I haven't thought about it too much. I just woke up for crying out loud. But I do know I've enjoyed my time with you, learning to hunt. If you would let me, I would like to do more, to learn more. To be close to you," you said, your heart shining in your eyes, hoping he could see how much you meant it.

He sighed, looking down at his hands, and your heart sank. "I was afraid you would say that. I didn't want to have to break it to you like this Y/N, " he started. "But, I don't think that would work."

"Why not?" You argued, wanting him to see you would work hard for it.

"Because you are weak, and you would only get in our way. It would take forever to train you," He argued, and you sat up straighter, his words digging deep. 

"Fine, then I'll stay behind, doing research while you guys do the grunt work. I'm good at research," you pleaded, clenching your hands together when he shook his head.

"No. I just think it would be better, for everyone involved, if we just end it right now. It was fun while it lasted, but it didn't mean anything."

"What?? You can't mean that," You answered, but his words earlier came back to haunt you.

"I do. It was fun, and I'm sorry you were hurt, but you're better now. So why don't we say our goodbyes, and you can head back to your regular life."

You stood up, trying hard not to start crying again, the last of your resolve breaking. "Dean, are you doing this to protect me?" You asked him, staring hard at his face, checking for any signs that he was lying. That this was hurting him just as bad as it was hurting you. But he sat there calmly, staring at you.

"No. I wish I was. But in all reality, I'm done with you. I've grown bored, and I'm ready to move on,"  He told you, and that's when you had enough. Tears pouring down your cheeks, you turned grabbing your suitcase and your purse, heading towards the door.

Turning one last time, you saw Dean sitting there, watching you as you left. "I'm sorry Dean. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you. Guess I will never be good enough for anyone." You told him, before shutting the door behind you. Through your tears you missed the look of pain cross his face, or the way his hand clenched his paper coffee cup hard enough that it crushed under the pressure.

You tried to calm your breathing, tried to keep your tears at bay as you made your way down the stairs and into the main lobby. You didn't need to check out, they had already done that for you. You guessed Dean had been ready to get rid of you a long time ago. 

You were so lost in your pain, in your suffering, that it took Sam yelling your name multiple times before it finally registered.

"Y/N, what's wrong?" He asked you, grabbing your shoulders to stop you. "Is Dean okay?"

"Dean's just peachy," you muttered. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to leave."

Sam's face turned into one of frustration and annoyance. "Damn it Dean. I was hoping he wouldn't go through with it."

Hiccuping through your tears, you shrugged." Well, he did. It was nice knowing you Sam. I think we would have made really good friends." You told him, standing on tip toes to give him a hug. He hugged you back, tightly, and you relished in the touch for a moment.

"You have our numbers?" He asked you, and you nodded. "Don't hesitate to call, for anything. Promise me." 

You promised, grabbing your suitcase, once again making your way to the revolving doors, not ready to leave the new life you had made. Not ready to go back to the one you wanted to forget.