Already Gone (Harry Styles / One Direction)

Mistakes*

~~Maddie's POV~~

I can't believe I spoke to Tristan in that manner. I know I've hurt him, and I'm so angry at myself for doing so. And then, kissing Harry. I feel as if I'm losing my grip. I can't allow myself to develop feelings for him; it's bound to end badly. Whenever he's near, I catch myself staring at his lips, his smile, and his infectious laugh. Today, while riding Buttercup, we really connected. His life fascinates me, and his perspective is remarkable. He has an allure that captivates me, as if he's cast a spell, and he's all I can think about. I know we just met today, but he's incredible. Brushing away these foolish tears, I know I need to find Tristan and make amends.

I rise and head towards the ladder just as Harry climbs up. I let out a groan. All I want to do is run; I'm still buzzed and desperate to find Tristan. Harry strides over and takes a seat on the hay bale where Josh and I were sitting. His shirt is still absent, and I catch myself staring at his chest. "Hey, look, I want to apologize for my behavior earlier. It seems I owe many people an apology," He gazes up at me, and I feel an urge to hide in a corner. The confusion in his green eyes is evident, and I'm left wondering what's on his mind. I'm drawn to him, but he's leaving, he's famous, and I can't handle it.

"I don't know what's going through your mind, but..." He pauses, running his fingers through his hair. "Look, I'm not good at this, but I really like you. I know I'm leaving, but we can try to make it work. If it were up to me, I wouldn't leave, but I don't have a choice right now." I can't look at him because I'm uncertain if I want this to happen. Sure, I like him, but the thought of him leaving and being away is too much to handle.

"Hi, I do like you, please believe me. If I could, I would jump into your arms and say let's do this. But let's be honest, I'm just a girl you met by chance. Who's to say you won't find someone and fall madly in love with her when you go home?" I fiddle with my fingers, trying to stay composed. "Let's just have fun and see what happens. When you leave, we can remain friends, and if we ever meet again, maybe things could be different." I glance at him and see the hurt in his eyes, and I can't believe I just said that.

"Maddie, we can do this, I promise I will come back when I can. I promise in-between things I'll come see you. Don't shut me out and say if we meet again. That's bullshit and you know it." He stands and walks over in front of me hovering over as if I were his prey. My body shivers as he rubs his thumbs across my face. Fire ignites throughout my body, and it takes everything I have not to wrap my arms around him. "Tell me you don't feel that too." His eyes burn into me as I try to look anywhere but him. "Tell me this doesn't feel right. Tell me." He pulls my face up to look at him and his eyes burn with lust and hunger.

"It's not that easy." I take a deep breath. "It's like I know that this couldn't work, but yet I find myself trying to get you anyways. I don't know if I can just be with you 3 days out of 3 months. I know how this will go, you will leave and forget that I exist and I'm not ready for that. I don't want you to leave." Why did I just admit that! He moves closer pushing his long frame into my short one.

"Let's try," he says, gazing into my eyes, causing them to widen. My heart races, threatening to burst from my chest. 'Don't do it, Grey,' I silently plead, but my body doesn't heed the warning as my arms wrap around his neck. He leans down, bridging the gap between us. The moment his lips touch my forehead, a blaze ignites at the contact. My breathing becomes erratic, beyond my control. Damn it, pushing against his chest, forcing myself to retreat towards the ladder.

"Let's just be friends for now, at least until we have the opportunity to truly be together. Do this for me, Harry. I struggle with separation." Memories of my mother flood my mind. It seems everyone eventually leaves. Josh and Tristan are the only constants in my life. And now, I fear I've pushed him away. Damn it, I'm such a bitch.