Already Gone (Harry Styles / One Direction)

Uneasy Feeling

~~Maddie's POV~~

I stand on the front porch and inhale the spring air. It has been almost two months since I left London and left Harry there also. My heart hurts everyday but I know that him following his dreams is all that matters right now. We text all the time but it's not the same. He's been so busy and I understand that it's hard on him. He tells me how much he misses me and how he wishes we were still together. I do to but to me we are but we are on a break. I now have a Twitter which took me awhile to get because I wasn't sure about it. Finally Louis talked me into it he said that I could keep up with him and the rest of the guys. So I did and now I do, Niall is doing charity work but he came down the weekend before last and we had a great time. I had missed him as I miss all the guys. Shelly just moved to London with Liam and they are now engaged. I couldn't be more happy for them, it makes my heart warm thinking of how they met, the first day here at the bonfire. Josh and Gemma are going strong. Josh just came back from London when Niall left, he only went because Niall was here and I wasn't by myself.

Zayn actually came to visit but it was strictly business. It was right after I got back from London and we worked on the song. He has done so much and made it awesome. He released it not to long after that and it was a hit. He told me I needed to write him more and I laughed.

Today is a tough day, because everyday for the last 13 years Tristan and I would be out fishing. Today would have been his 22nd birthday, I really miss him today. I turned my phone off because people were driving me crazy calling and checking on me. Josh has stuck close all morning, it just drives me crazy. I'm not sad, well maybe I am but he was my best friend, and my future husband. If he were here, right now I'd be standing here waiting on him to pull up the drive and we would make our way to the lake. We always went fishing on his birthday, but we did that everyday.

"What has that beautiful smile on your face?" Josh comes over and stands beside me. I look up and just smile, happy that I have a wonderful life. I have amazing friends and a wonderful brother.

"I was thinking about Tristan. You know it doesn't seem right him not speeding up the drive. This place just doesn't seem the same without any of them. They guys are gone, dad is gone, Harry." My face falls and I turn looking back over the drive. I hear Josh sigh as he nudges my shoulder.

"Let's go fishing." I look up and smile, I know he's only doing this to make me feel better. I run in and grab my phone while Josh gets the boat. I don't switch it on yet, afraid of what I'll be met with. I run out as Josh pulls around and I hop in. We make our way threw the fields to the lake that I once made out with Harry in. God I miss that man! We set everything and then we are out making our way through the water. It's peaceful but it's missing something and I know it's the guys. They made this place come alive and make it feel like home again. I cast out while propping my legs up and sitting back. If Louis were here he'd be shaking the boat trying to make Niall sick, which he always seceded in.

"Josh do you think you could ever leave here. I mean like move away?" I look over at him from behind the bill of my hat and the large sunglasses that rest on my face. He looks over deep in thought and I think I already know the answer. "I mean if we sold the cattle and maybe found Buttercup and the other horses good homes could you leave?"

"I could and have thought about it a lot. Could you though, could you leave all the memories and the only home we have known?" I ponder his questions and I know that it would be rough at first but I think I could. Now when I walk around it doesn't seem the same and it kind of haunts me. Every where I look I see Tristan and if I don't see him I see Harry. "You know I have talked to Dad and he said that we could sell the cattle and if we decided to move he would keep the house up." I glance over at him. I know he wants to move he just doesn't want to leave me. I feel bad about that because I cant stand thinking I'm keeping anyone from living their lives.