Howling at the Moon - [A Werewolf Adventure]

A Wolf Among the Sheep (Tamara)

I had become a five year old, that was one of the few things I was certain of. Not physically, but I sure as hell was acting like one. Every order Auron made, I wanted to stamp my foot and disagree with. If somebody had asked me, I couldn't properly explain why I was even mad at him anymore. I just needed something to occupy my mind, being angry with him did just that. His decision was to settle for the night, not leap into action, and for that I had become even more frustrated. While I knew that Darion would be willing to help, a part of me didn't want him to know just how angry I was. It was clear he was having problems of his own, I didn't want to throw mine onto his. Auron, on the other hand, was a different story. I wanted him to suffer, for whatever selfish reasons I had made up in my head.

So when he said we needed sleep for the night, I wanted to scream. When he said he would be the first to take watch, I glared. And when he woke me up for my turn, I stomped about as I patrolled the area. I was a pouting child, but I would never admit it.

Despite this, being on watch calmed me. The forest was near silent at night, even with ears as sensitive as ours. All I could hear was the occasional rustle of nocturnal creatures as they lurked about, mixed in with Auron's and Darions quiet snores. They sounded so out of place, unnatural, and yet they fit here in a way as well. We all were like that, between two worlds. We were supposed to be human, but we had this instinct to survive that nobody else could truly understand. Not human, not animal, but dancing on a thin line just in between. For a moment, despite better judgement telling me to stay alert, I watched them. Auron tossed and turned, Darion slept still as could be, a rock. Despite how angry I was, it hit me how much I really cared about them, loved them even. No amount of misplaced anger would change that. It was simple, they were family.

By the time it seemed to be Darion's turn to keep watch, I knew for a fact I wouldn't get any sleep even if I tried. There was no point in waking him up. So I continued, hours longer than I needed to, just trying to sort the thoughts in my head. Trying to decide if I was genuinely angry or just sad. Or a very unfortunate blend of the two. My eyelids were just drooping shut when Darion sat up, rubbing his eyes. He looked around, squinting, and let out a small sigh of relief when I gave a little wave, showing where I was just at the edge of the clearing. He stood, his stomach growling, and for a moment he stared down at it, as if he could will it to be full. Finally, he started walking in the other direction, mumbling just loud enough for me to hear, “I've gotta piss, one sec...” His words were still slurred with fatigue, but I knew he would be alert in a second if need be.

As he disappeared into the dark forest, I made myself comfortable near Auron, although I kept my distance. We never slept especially close, but not this far either, and it felt a little lonely for just a second before it occurred to me that it was all my doing in the first place. When Darion loped back, he was still yawning through his words, “My turn to stand watch?” He questioned, and I nodded, curling up on my side.

I tossed and turned for a good two hours before he spoke up again. “When will things be back to normal?” He asked, and I thought that maybe, just for a second, I heard a crack in his voice. Sometimes I forgot that Darion was still young too, that this wasn't as easy as he made it seem, and I knew I wasn't helping with that.

Rather than answering his question, which I really didn't have an answer to in the first place, I just let out a long breath, doing the one thing I often refused to do. “I'm sorry,” I apologized, sitting up to look at him, not that I could make out much. And while my tone came out a bit harsher than I had intended, I knew I got my point across as well as I could. Maybe he was still tired, because he moved away from his hiding place among the trees. The moon had trouble breaking way through the many branches, but little beams of light hit, and for just a flicker of a moment I could have sworn I saw tears in his eyes, something I had never, in a million years thought I would see.

He pulled me into a hug, kneeling by my side. With my face pressed into his shoulder, I couldn't see his face, but I knew from the tremors that ran through his body. He was crying. Darion, our rock, was just as lost as the rest of us. We were all the same, yet it felt so incredibly lonely at the same time. And as much as I wanted to cry to, I bit my tongue as hard as I could, until I could taste blood. I wouldn't cry, not then. Darion was still our rock, but I realized then he was constantly in the current of our emotions, tugged along but Auron's and my own inability to contain that. And so, with shaky hands, a mouth filled with blood, I held onto him tightly, whispering words of comfort.

I don't know how long we sat like that, but that's something you hear often enough. The cliché of minutes drifting into hours, of each moment blurring together, I've seen it in every teen movie. So, I convinced myself I knew exactly how long we held each other, how long until he finally pulled away, ruffling my hair.

And I told myself I knew the exact moment he smiled at me, his protective Darion smile that made me feel like a princess and a fighter all at once. “Get some sleep, kiddo,” he said, and I knew he would be watching over me, watching over Auron, as I did.